I'm 20 years old (female) and was raped by my (now) ex-boyfriend and have a question or two...?

Question

I'm 20 years old (female) and was raped by my (now) ex-boyfriend and 2 of his friends while under the influence. They said that it was consentual, but I don't truly feel that it was since I was gang-raped by all three of them when I was under the influence of drugs and alcohol...and three men against one woman seems a bit much. I do not remember agreeing to participate, and am very scarred from what happened. My depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety are noticibly worse since the incident. Is there anyone that can offer some help on how to get through this hard time?

Answer 1

The Law is very clear on this. If you are under the Influence of Drugs you Can Not give consent. GO TO THE POLICE !

This is a very traumatic situation, and I'm going to be in Prayer for you.
Minister

Answer 2

Please call the R.A.I.N.N. hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE. It is America's only national hotline for survivors of sexual assault (according to a survivors' support website), and the hotline offers free, confidential counseling and support 24 hours a day, from anywhere in the country.

I am also 20 years old and I am really, really sorry about what happened. What happened to you was not consensual, it was rape -- and you deserve help and support, and the means through which to exert justice on your rapists, if you so desire.

Also, if this is less than 72 hours since the event occurred (and I don't think it is, but just in case), get to a nearby clinic for Plan B, the emergency birth control pill, and an examination. Even if it has been more than 72 hours, it wouldn't hurt to be examined anyway, and tested for STIs. I'm sending all my good energy your way.

Answer 3

Call the police and press charges. It might be hard to prove you were raped, though. Have you been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder by a psychiatrist or is it just your opinion? If you have a real diagnosis from a doctor it might help your case. It's not a good idea to take recreational drugs or to get drunk if you are taking psychiatric medication--your doctor will tell you the same thing. I work in mental health, most psychiatrists will strongly warn against people with mental illness taking illegal drugs or getting drunk.

Answer 4

Its not legal to have sex with someone who is incoherent or unconscious, regardless of how they got that way. Just like a child or someone in a coma can not consent to sex.

You shouldn't blame yourself. You were probably being naive and too trusting, but YOU did not make the decision to proceed. If they remember and you don't, they probably planned the whole thing out.

You should talk to somebody about pressing charges if you so choose, I think the law would be on your side, and between the 3 of them at least one of them will be dumb enough to incriminate themselves.

As for yourself I would try to join a support group, get into counseling. Do whatever you can to fix the black hole of pain you have inside of you that causes you to want to fill it up with drugs and "love" from evil men. That is the most important advice you can get. You don't want to be where you are 10 years from now, ending up in the same situations.

Take it one day at a time. I feel for you.

Answer 5

First. I would like to thank you for sharing your truth of the matter and to say, find a friend or minister you trust. In my opinion, the consensual part is not evident. though some minds of men do think that way.I am sad for the fact you were led into a trap and you were not able to see this because of your trust for the supposed boyfriend. I hope you will learn a valuable lesson about trust and in whom the true trust can be placed.

Answer 6

i strongly believe u have a good case against them.1st of all consent is not a defence to someone who was not capable of consenting.Clearly he took advantage of u.I think u have a really good case in the event u wish to report them.U will however have to be sure that u didnt consent because u was drunk etc and of course u are not the type of person that would consent to something like that

secondly, i strongly think u need counselling.Rape is not an easy thing to deal with.Maybe u might just want to forget it ever happened,If thats the case,u will need support in doing that.You cant fight this battle alone.

Its easy for some one to say let them pay,and report it but its another to be strong to stand up to these guys and everyone else who will be aware of it.

I think u should try seeing about yourself 1st.Make yourself strong.Talk to someone about it get it off your chest.The longer u hide it the more it will affect you.I should warn u though that the longer u take to report it the less likely the police will believe you.

Answer 7

If you feel strong enough to go 3 against 1 again, file charges and be prepared to testify in court. It may be next to impossible to prove and you haven't said how long ago this was. It will have to have been within the statute of limitations. I hope your attorney can nail them to the wall. As for yourself and your mental health, you may want to try group therapy in addition to individual therapy. Hearing from and talking to other women who have been through the same thing and worse can help you find ways to heal. I truly hope you are able to find some sense of vindication and peace. God bless you, you are courageous.

Answer 8

omg that is truly horrible. 3 guys against a girl is over powering her especially when she under influence of drugs. I think you should go to the police. You really need to get justice out of this whole situation. Because this rape takes a hold of your life, the thought of it drowns you in depression. Do not it let this control your life. Get justice out of it. Because guys like that should be in JAIL for messing a girl up like that. If u like to talk more about it i am up for emailing me. I am very sorry that it happened to you.

Answer 9

Report them. Tell everyone, i am sick of hearing people like this getting away with things. Since you are depressed and have anxiety (my husband has similar mental health problems) change your life around from this experience, see a cousellor about it. Try to give up drugs and alcohol and do things that are of interest you. Keep your chin up, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. But don;t let them get away with it.

Answer 10

It's very sad that mostly younger people like you and others has to face kind of dangerous, bad habbits, bad company involved with out proper true understanding, and old enough to over come own mistakes, and face difficulties as a desent human being while their'e wild Animals still around in your corner. This is a good Example for you to start a refresh, a new life to change all your illegal, Drugs, Alcohol associate, hang around gangs whom you think their'e your true Friends, and pls. use your brain, common sence, listen to the Family, Sincere Friends,Adults, Sociol, Dr. your-self and try and get some immediate Theropy like Specialist Councellor needed, fully check up, give all the bad habbits you like it or not, for now on and start liking your self and act possitive behaviour. Don't feel bad about your self, every thing is happenning bad or good to correct your self and draws to your Family members and loved ones. Somebody Who really cares for you might open their Heart ,place, time, guidence, release your pain if you give them a chancebeing truthful, trust, and made up your mind to change your life in the future.If you haven't taken any drugs, Alcohol or associate gangs you wouldnt't be in this situation. life is ups and down, trials, fair and unfair, poor, rich, poverty, all kinds.but, we still have a choice.Don't look around Sympathy and waste your precious time, rather find a better solution. past is past and you show those who destroy your life some possitive, proffecionally by living, start a fresh life, by changing fully . Education is one of the key for you to maintain your life and start work, keep occupied by doing something worth while and keep praying.We'll need God for our protection. If you want to talk to some body I always their for and i do remember in my thoughts and Prayers too. Pls, Don't go for Drugs, Alcohol adn associate bad company and it's not worth it. Love your self and your'e still worthy to your self and to others.