no one understands?

Question

i recently came out about my depression but no one understands

i feel datched from the world and everything seems unreal and hopeless, i feel like a stranger in the world, nothing is real no more, but no one understands, they jus say pull yaself together and there nothing wrong with u

what should i do, me mother is stressed out to the max about this, but i feel no emotion when she cried or gets upset about it, she dont want me to go doctors, i feel like i cant function in the world at the moment.

i been seeing counsllor but she says i jus got anxiety, but it not true, maybe i not been totally up front with her

what can i do, feel dead on inside

Answer 1

Firstly you are not alone, there are 1000s of people out there suffering from the the symptoms of depression, most of whom believe no one else could possibly understand.Although they may share many of the same morbid thoughts,sense of loneliness, emotional turmoil and pain,we can only feel our own.It is a very selfish condition it's almost like we don't want anyone to feel our pain/understand us (hence "not being totally up front" with your councilor),it's a self obsession.No one can possibly understand the world the way we view it,or feel our sense of loss,we believe only we can see the world the way it really is,all the "bad stuff",all the negative possible outcomes to every situation.The truth is everyone has the ability to do this but we also have the ability to see the positive possibilities and are able to balance out and accept the good with the bad.People with depression tend too overlook the good in search of the bad things,which magnifies them.It is very important that you trully want to change your situation,and to take control of your life,in doing so it brings responsibility for your own happiness, and you no longer have the excuse of being ill,out of control (in the grasp of depression).There are good things in your life but at the moment you are choosing/unable to see them, all your thoughts are geared towards seeking out the bad,dwelling on the "hopelessness" of it all.You have the power to change things, you may require medication in order to calm your mind and be more able to think in a rational manner,and talking out loud to a councilor ( a sympathetic/understanding one,who deals with people with this problem) can be very beneficial,but you must be completely honest, by being so you are also being honest with yourself and so are better equiped to deal with reality.It is imperative that you do what is best for you and too start taking control,this means taking the first steps towards your recovery ie visiting your doctor,and being honest about your symptoms in order to receive the proper initial treatment.Ask too be referred for counceling if your doctor does not do so him/herself,and don't miss any of the sessions.You posted your problem here so you obviously want things too change,you have had counceling which also points to the fact you want change,these are positive things,the professionals around you can help put things into perspective but don't have a magic wand to wave and make things all ok for you,you have to be prepared to put work into healing yourself, you have the power to do this.You have the power to think a bad thought or a good one,you cant think two thoughts at the same time,so every time a bad thought pops into your head take control of it and replace it with a good one,listen to upbeat music instead of stuff thats going to affect you in a negative way, watch comedy shows instead of tuning into darker shows, hang out with people who have a happier outlook, keep busy with things you enjoy or take up a hobby that you have always thought about and maybe never got around too doing.Join a club/class that interests you , keep busy and remember to push away the negative thoughts.Eventually you will realise that life isn't so bad after all, it's how you view it and live it that is important,we are all living in the same world and most of us share similar experiences and yet some people are full of fun and always appear happy and others appear to be carrying the world on their shoulders, the only difference is how we are looking at things, how we process it and deal with it.You can be happy too so start doing something about it now.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry that you have found people haven't be supportive of you.
Unfortunately depression is not well understood by most, people say they are depressed when they don't have any money etc, this is not real depression.
This feelings like nothing is real is quite normal as you block things out and put any real emotion away so that you don't feel.
I feel you really need to see you doctor, you can sometimes go on anti-depressants for just 6mths, this can help you get a handle on things.
Also it might be an idea to do some anxiety management, if that is part of your problem, there are a number of good books out that can help you deal with anxiety! And although that may not be your main problem if you sort that out it can go a long way to helping you cope better with everyday life.
Don't put to much pressure on yourself to do things you can't cope with to start with make small steps.
But really go and see your doctor and get the help you need, you can't not go because other people don't want you too, you need to look after yourself before things get to a stage you feel you cannot cope with anymore.
Hope this has been helpful, and i do understand how you feel.

Answer 3

I think you have answered your own question in there, the best way out of this or finding a way to cope is to seize the opportunity to let it all out to your counsellor, counselling is not about diagnosing your illness its more to do with sorting out the mess in your head so that you can hear your own voice discover where the pain and problems are. I cannot understand any prejudice with regard depression and other mental illnesses, we are humans ans consequently we get hurt and ill in all areas skin, organs etc, why not the head, why do we deny our fallibility. the last thing I'd like to tell you is that, there are probably reasons why you feel so down and life does not stand still, it will change, tomorrow is another day and as well as the downs, there are ups, I can promise you will be happy again in the future, hold on, be kind and treat yourself well. all the best.
P.S. I didn't suggest you go to the Doctors because obviously if you are having counselling your were refereed there

Answer 4

I’m GLAD how you’re feeling. I love that you feel “detached form the world and everything seems unreal and hopeless, that you feel like a stranger in this world and nothing is real anymore”. And I’m glad that you feel dead on the inside.
Whether you like it or not, nothing will change the fact, that you realized something of a huge importance; you realized who you are NOT. You finally understand that who you thought you were, and the world you were living in until now, was NEVER REAL.
You died inside because you no longer wanted to live in that illusion. The withdrawal you’re going through is wonderful, painful but wonderful; it allows you to become fully detached and therefore it is making a room for the birth of the NEW YOU.
At first you feel scared, terrified as a matter of fact, as you don’t know what to expect, and as you are afraid of loosing yourself. The pain is staring right at you from the behind, as it reminds you that if you’ll hesitate to move forward, despite that fear, it will be there to impact you and to stop you from backing up. So you embrace yourself and you think to yourself: ”What the heck, I may as well go for it!” As you do that you’ll start to feel sadness; you will experience a huge sense of loss, after all you are abandoning an idea of yourself; false as it is, it’s still YOUR IDEA, and you’ve got attached to it through out your whole life. Then again, despite that sorrow, you move forward as you go deeper and deeper within yourself and you begin exploring the REAL WORLD that is awaiting you there. Then you begin to see THE REAL YOU, most likely for the first time. At this point you’re starting to feel real excitement. Before the excitement transforms into the real JOY though, you will be tested, that’s right, you will go through a trial, whatever that may be, where you’ll have to prove yourself. You will have to prove that you are not of this world, that you are indeed GOD, and that everything, absolutely everything, including your happiness, is within you, and therefore not dependable on the outside world.
When you do all that; the NEW YOU will be born, and the SUFFERING will DIE.
When your suffering ends, the world’s suffering ends as well.

Answer 5

firstly, go to the doctor and repeat what you have said in your question. hopefully, you will be prescribed medication and after about 2 weeks your mood will start to lift. do not look too far in to the future but take each day as it comes. there is light at the end of the tunnel. my sister has suffered like you for the last 10 years but with support from friends and family she has pulled through and learned to enjoy life once again. Acknowledging you have a problem is the first step to recovery so you have taken your first step. everyone feels sad and alone sometimes, take comfort that you are not on your own, depression is an illness like any other and can and should be treated. let us know how you get on. best wishes and warm thoughts, take care of yourself. x

Answer 6

Some depression is caused by a chemical imbalance; your brain may not be able to maufacture seretonin, the "happy" chemical, which leads to a cycle of depression and an inability to get out of the pit. You will actually need to see a doctor about this, you can't self treat. And while counselling will help, it will only do so as part of an overall recovery scheme.
You don't say whether you are on anti-depressants; if you are not, then you probably need to be. And the thing to remember is, even if you are prescribed an anti-depressant, it takes at least six weeks for it to show results, as the effect is cumulative - it builds up inside your body. It may also take one or two tries before an anti-depressant is found that suits you; which means being weaned off the one you were started on, and starting the process all over again.
It's a long process; and the first step of this tough journey begins with a visit to your doctor. There is help out there, good help, but it may take a bit of tracking down.
Don't expect to feel any better for a few weeks, but in the meantime, to perk up your seretonin levels while you are waiting for the drugs to kick in, get plenty of sunshine, and if you can amnage it, a walk every day. Excercise and sunlight help to boost the production of seretonin. Start taking a fish oil capsule, especially one with Omega 3; this will also help.
As for your mother........well, depression is a family thing, everyone gets involved. Your mum is distressed for your sadness, that's all. Let her help. Agree to see your family doctor. It is in your best interests long term, and it will set the ball rolling.
You could also change your counsellor if you liked. You may feel more able to open up with someone different.
It's very unfair of people to say "pull yourself together", but the truth is, all recovery starts within ourselves at some point. No-one can make our depression better, but the drugs DO help, so does diet, so do lifestyle changes.
I know what I am talking about here. My beautiful daughter has had bouts of depression since her early teens - she is now 27 -AND an eating disorder. She has been in that terrible place where you are now. It has taken her almost eight months to get well this time. It has been very hard for us as a family to cope with this, as she lives in another area; we have gone through the whole thing with her; total breakdown; suicidal tendencies; violence, depression; and family counselling, at which some hard truths about my abilities as a mother had to be faced.
I urge you to see a doctor. Your counsellor has no business diagnosing anxiety, but as you say, you have not been up front with her. Concentrate on getting well. your mum will be fine once she sees you are taking steps to resolve your situation.
My daughter absolutely refused to go to a doctor for almost four months the first time; until we eventually persuaded her, by offering to help pay for counselling sessions.
I wish you well.

Answer 7

I've been there and know exactly what you mean...unfortunately i was wrong when i thought i was 'out' of my depression...hence the feeling of isolation / disassociation / hopelessness. I think you may have done as i did and 'risen' slightly from the bottom to say..'the middle' of depression...its a long road to walk, i hope you aren't trying to walk it on your own, you DO need support, i just wish people would realise it doesn't help telling you to 'pull yourself together'.
You need to see a psychiatrist, that's the bottom line...the are trained to help us...some counsellors just don't have the training/experience to help or even understand what you are saying.

Personally, i took a break from everything..i LOVE to fish..i booked a 4 week holiday to the lakes, stayed at a cabin on the waterfront and fished and sat and thought...you can find out alot about who you are when you have nothing to do but think, with no-one/nothing to distract you...I came out of my depression fully in august last year...i still get 'down' but it doesn't get anywhere near the point it was.

I hope you get well soon, try and take a break if you can, definitely see a professional, disregard the advice of your mother on this one thing..please see your doctor!! I wish you all the best for the future.

Answer 8

Been there, done that. Depression is something so many people face. It's a dark hole I hate to go back to.
It's good that you are seeing a counselor, but it doesn't sound like it's the right one for you. Try changing counselors, and see you doctor. Tell him of your depression. I hate to take meds. But like my doctor told me, "If you had high blood pressure, would you take your medication for that?" Of course I would. I don't expect to feel happy all the time. I just want to feel like there is hope, I can help myself feel better and look at things in a different way. This is where a good counselor comes in. They can help give you strategies for coping with the depression. If you can't afford a counselor, most cities have a Department of Family Services and you pay based on your income/ability to pay. Another thing that helps, is to volunteer in your community. Do something that helps others. It really helps get those endorphins flowing.
You can get out of the feeling dead inside. You are worth getting help for yourself. The sooner the better. Best wishes for you!

Answer 9

Unless your counsellor is as medically qualified as your doctor, I would wait until having seen a Dr and then get a better viewpoint.

Depression is best thought of as an illness and it affects many of the population, to differing degrees. Your GP will know the things to look for, when speaking with you about this. There is also a range of things that a GP could offer, to help support you with this, including medication.

With counselling, it is going to be better for you to be 'up front', but it takes each one of us different amounts of time to do this. And it depends on the counsellor.

Good luck! Don't let depression drag on and suffer alone. Rob

Answer 10

You sound depressed not just anxious. Go against your mother and seek help from your doctor, it's your health and possibly your life at stake, the stigma of mental health isn't the same as it was. Be completely honest with your doctor and perhaps your counsellor as you definitely need support. You may even need medication.

I get depression and although my mother would prefer me not to be on medication, she knows if I wasn't I probably wouldn't be alive now! She'd rather have a child on medication than one that isn't around anymore. Your mum may feel she's let you down in some way, I know mine felt that way.

If you need to talk anymore, please feel free to email me. I do understand how bad you must be feeling, I know I felt the same as you do now!

Answer 11

you are depressed, and the only way to get yourself out of this pit is to seek medical attention. theres no shame in this and when you start to feel better things will become clearer to you. the feelings you have now will ease and life will improve. if you really cant face the doctor go to the pharmacy and buy some st johns wort. i took this and within a month my outlook on life improved greatly, admittedly it took me about 6 months to recover fully as i had hit an all time low but im well now and you can get well too. dont give up on yourself, you are special and wonderful, you deserve to be happy. good luck xxx