i never forgot my mom spanked me when i was 5 yrs old, should i dump her at the nursing home?

Question

my mom hit me when i was small, sometimes lightly on the leg, another time a slap on the head, i NEVER forgot about it, i am thinking about sending her to nursing home and never visit her again, why am i so angry about it?? some people told me its 'not a big deal' but i can and will not forgive her

once she is in the nursing home i shall NEVER visit her once, becasue if she treated me gentlly and patiently i shall be the same, but she lost her temper, is that all i am worth? she made me feel like a worthless piece of s*** not even deserved to be talking nicely!! i shall never spank my kids!

I CAN'T forget how she smacked me, its cruel and unloving, i felt worthless most of the time, she has to pay, I WILL MAKE SURE SHE PAYS, its not my choice to be born, if she can't be a good mother then don't give birth to me, she is the worst mother

she spanked coz SHE WAS STRESSED, nothing to do with me, she is a b**** i will make sure she goes to the worst nursing home, the cheapest

Answer 1

just dump her anywhere you want, she betrayed you why should you honour her? i think give her another few more years when she can't walk anymore just called the local nursing home and make some arrangement, or you can move overseas so she won't be able to find you and let her take care of herself. you have no responsiblity to her as she abused you!

Answer 2

I've worked at a nursing home for a few weeks, for training to get my CNA certification. Most residents are never mean, sure some can be a bit weird, but they're just average people with health problems. The trick to getting along with residents is just being social, they love to talk about all sorts of things and they enjoy talking to a new person. The job isn't bad, you just have to be very social. However be warned, the new people are always ordered to do all the dirty work. I would strongly suggest you have a strong stomach. There are some things here and there that can make weak stomached people nauseous.

Answer 3

Your feelings are perfectly NORMAL!! You were hit and hitting hurts! Why wouldn't you be angry? Pay no attention to the shmoes who say that spanking isn't the same as hitting! Spanking DOES hurt and worse, it's more humiliating than regular beating.

The thing you need to decide is whether you love your mother enough so that putting her in a home would make you feel bad. Though people who spank are almost ALWAYS ignorant, they are not always evil. They just cling to old ways and are "snowed" by everyone else's opinion.

Also, ask your mom if she knows how much she hurt you. She MIGHT say "sorry" and you could forgive her. If not, then just let her go. It's tragic but if that's what you need to heal, then that's what you need. DON'T give in to these people who say you MUST "forgive to heal". That's a crock!

Whenever a parent hits a child, it IS a big deal! Parents are SUPPOSED to provide security and wellness and love, not fear and damage and hate! That is what hitting promotes. If the kid feels uncertain around the parent who chose hitting over a HUNDRED other ways to discipline, then the PARENT has only themselves to blame!

You're angry because your mother BETRAYED your trust in her. Instead of providing support, she gave pain, and that causes fear AND anger!

IF you can forgive her, that'd be better for both, but don't see it as
mandatory. Follow YOUR needs and YOUR heart! If she's still blaming you for her bad parenting, then ditch her and yes, leave her to the nursing home, where she belongs!

There are many other people out there who WILL love you and side with you. Sadly, it isn't always our parents who do that. Main thing: LEARN TO BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND!

If you want some more feedback, just e-mail me. Good luck to you! I know JUST what you feel like!

P.S.: DON'T LISTEN TO THE PRO-SPANKERS above!!! They're just trying to justify the fact that they hate their own parents for hitting them and are probably repeating a sick pattern by hittint THEIR poor, helpless, anguished kids!!! These people who say you should have been spanked are sad, sorry excuses for humans and should NOT be heeded for ANY advice involving human COMPASSION! It's SICKENING!

Answer 4

firstly, have you got a criminal record. or ever been in trouble with the police. or do you cheat and rob people.are you of a bad nature. if the answer is no and you are a good person who stays out of trouble and is of good honest nature...but you have some small mental scars of your mum smacking you when you was a child. now lets look at other children that didn't get smacked when they were children as there parents didn't take much notice of them anyway. they will have criminal records and be of a violent nature and be mostly no hopers.. so lets put two and two together and the answer is. there is method in smacking children when needed as it has a long lasting effect of association to when yer about to do something you should not do,you will remember the smack round the head from you mum or slapped legs.need i say more.

Answer 5

You are a despicable person! It sounded to me like you were a brat and deserved to be swatted. And given the disrespect of your mother now, perhaps you need some more!

If your mother is in need of a nursing home, then she is truly in a bad way. Do you not have any compassion for a woman in such a condition? Or are you so self-centered you cannot see past your own interests?

There are so many cases of elderly abuse, and I'm sure you are right on the borderline.

It takes a cold, hard, no-conscience, selfish person to be as unforgiving as you seem to be.

I'd tell you that you need to be ashamed of yourself, but apparently you have no shame. My sympathies go out to your mother.

Answer 6

Wow, you really are angry with your mother. It sounds like you didn't even feel loved by her. You are going through some heavy stuff with your mother.

Adult children do question their parent's methods of child rearing. You are not just questioning her as a parent but also her character. I've met lots of adults who have done this. It is very common to do this when one is in his/her 20's and early 30's. To a certain degree it's healthy. You are defining who you are and don't want to be. It's great that you won't copy your mom's mistakes.You feel somehow that your mother short-changed you big time.

Have you ever heard of "The Secret?" It has to do with the law of attraction. You've got to start focusing on yourself and create more positive energy. Negative energy drains you. Please see the link below. It was featured on Oprah Winfrey a few weeks back. Please listen to it and let me know how it goes. There are a lot of powerful positive messages in there.

Oh--to be 28 again! You are lucky. You are still so young. You have a long life ahead of you. Focus on making yourself happy and fulfilled.

Answer 7

Do you remember why she spanked you? Maybe you were a mean kid and she was only trying to make you mind or maybe she did hit you just for the heck of it and if that is the case u can see why you dislike her.
I don't know about the nursing home thing though.

Answer 8

Are you for real or trying to start a spanking debate? If you are for real then do as I tell my kids when the whinge about something GET OVER IT. She did not beat you with an object, she did not starve you and she did not molest you. She gave you a few smacks with an open hand. Get help or GET OVER IT. She gave you a smack now and then , not a punch in the face

Answer 9

some people would say that she did it because you asked for it....(the spanking that is)
i would say that if you remember what you did and why you got the spank then maybe it worked but .....i wouldnt say put her in a home as she ment well at the time and thats what parents did back then......just think aswell would you want your kids (if you have any) to put you in a home because you spanked them once?

Answer 10

Your a real piece of work. I know people who have permanent scars from childhood beatings, who have decent relationships with their parents. I don't think this question is real, no one is that much of an emotional wreck. I think your just trying to move your anti spanking opinion out in the open, with this BS story. I am not buying it.