Should I stay or should I go?

Question

My wife is staying at her mom's one story house because of a badly broken leg. I work from 3am to noon, which would leave my 14 year old step-son alone until around 7:30am, at which time I would have taken him to school during my lunch break. My wife (and the rest of the females in her family) will not accept him being alone during these hours. As a result, her ex-husband is living with me so that he can take care of him. Even if I were able to switch to an 8 to 5 shift, she wouldn't allow him to take a bus for fear of him being kidnapped/molested at the bus stop (there has never been any personal experience or otherwise with this). So in order to keep peace in the family, I'm forced to live with her ex, who at first was staying on a temporary basis but now is going to give up his apartment and move in, and this is really affecting my sanity and that she totally doesn't have any respect for my feelings. This leaves with with only two options: accept it, or move out. Yer thoughts?

Answer 1

I would so move out that is ridiculous for them to even think that it would be okay for you to live with her ex. After all, you are already busting your azz by taking him to school on your lunch break. The boy is 14 not 5 I think he is perfectly capable of riding the bus. I would so move out living with someone's ex? no way not me

Answer 2

Sorry to hear about your wives leg.

On the other hand, I don't think that it is fair of her to ask you to live with her ex husband. I think it would be more reasonable for the 14 year old to stay for the couple hours with friends, or for a babysitter, or even tay at his grandma's where his mom is staying.

If she truly doesn't respect your feelings then the relationship is suffering and you need to either take a stand and tell her how you feel and fix the situation or just lay low for a while, its solely your decision.

Will her leg be better in a month and she can move home and the ex will be on his way? Or will he be staying permanently?

Whatever happens good luck, its a lose lose situation.

Answer 3

Really sorry to hear this and no there is no need that a 14 year old couldn't stay by himself, but to keep peace and avoid the ex moving in why couldnt the ex or you take him over the ex's house at 9pm or 10 pm let him sleep there and then the ex can take him to school...its sure to be temporary and the mom doesnt have to worry about him being alone.....

Answer 4

I was astounded by your question,how can you put up with your ex., living at your house? Don't you have any say so as to how your household should be run? why, do you have to be taking care of your wife's son, and isn't he old enough to take care of himself? If you do not put your foot down with the living arrangements that is going to transform, to tell you the truth, your wife does not really love you, or she just does not care about your feelings but hers,her son's, and her Ex. Move out of there before it is too late to do it, and before she gets pregnant with your child and then what would you do? You would have a noose around your neck, If I were you I would have run, not walk out of there. Good Luck to you, and I hope you will be wise and will be able to think of you first, than of what your wife wants.

Answer 5

Is there some reason why your wife is using her 14 yr old son as an excuse to move the ex in? The marriage is a former marriage...and you now make the final decisions in your home provided your wife also has a voice in the marriage but there is definately something fishy going on if your don't put your foot down and she insists this happens. I don't understand the concept.

Answer 6

This is weird, first a 14yr old is old and capable to look after himself for a few hours. The ex should be involved in his sons life but not to the extent where he has to move in. Your wife needs to understand how you feel and should not disrespect you by having her ex move in, not even for a short period of time. It's just not right and you need to say something to your wife, good luck.

Answer 7

Are you really serious? Move out of your home because of your wife's ex-husband. Come on where are your brains. IF your step-son is very inmature and can't catch a school bus at 14 he needs a sitter. My 8yr. grandson walks a block and stands by himself to get on the bus. IF your wife can't be home by herself then hire someone for both of them. All these Aunts could take turns helping. IF they are so concered. Why can't the boy stay with his Dad for awhile ? To many guestion not answer. I still say no to the ex-husband moving in. Why should you have to move its your apt. not his. Stand up for yourself you deserve to be happy in your own home.

Answer 8

how long is it going to take for your wifes leg to heal????? why would her ex have to move in? that sounds really strange to me.
if my leg was broken ild want to stay home, ild just sleep on the sofa rather then in my bed. at 14 years old, a child is pretty independant. my 12 year old can get up and get himself ready for school. if your wife is home then there is no fear of him being home alone. My husband is pretty tolerant of my ex husband concerning my 2 boys but i wouldnt expect him to live with him. well I would say talk to your wife and tell her how strange you feel with her ex living with you ask for a different arangement. like mabey her comming home.

Answer 9

There has GOT to be another option. That is complete infringement on your privacy and whether or not your wife and her ex would ever make it unsavory is not even the question. He needs to find another place to stay and then simply be the primary caretaker during that time slot.
If not, there is always a way to post flyers at your community church or college.
Where there's a will, there's a way...and THAT option is just NOT it!

Answer 10

You should stay--HE should go. YOU are now her husband. If he wants the kid to have a babysitter during those times, then he should hire one! Your wife and her family are expecting WAY TOO MUCH from you. Ask her if she would live with YOUR ex if the shoe were on the other foot. As a woman, I can tell you that if she says that she would, she is lying. Tell the ex to pack his bags. YESTERDAY!