A photographic memory but his lens cover is glued on.
Will stick with us until retirement, unless we do something first.
If he were any more stupid, we'd be watering him twice a week.
Bright as Alaska in December.
He's lucky he's not a horse, but still likely to get shot anyway.
Since my last evaluation, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
A one-cell organism outscored him in IQ tests.
This person's work habits gives rise to the argument -- why are we separated by the animals?
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
Fell out of the family tree, most likely on his head.
When she opens her mouth, it seems it's only to change whichever foot was previously there.
A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
It's hard to believe he beat out a million other sperm.
If brains were taxed, she'd get a large refund.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
2007-02-10 19:35:05 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I grabbed these from the Web.
All-in-all, there were too many for 1 question.
This was the 2nd round. Click my avatar and look at my Questions for the 1st round:
"Job performance evaluations. Funny?"
2007-02-11 01:54:19 · update #1
Hehe, like best the IQ score one. Hehe. And the sperm one. Hehe.
2007-02-10 20:00:50 · answer #1 · answered by discombobulated girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
~~~
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.
He spotted a woman below, descended a bit and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I appear to be a little off course. I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
Amazed by what she said, the balloonist stated, "You must work in Information Technology!"
"I am," replied the woman, "I'm a GIS* tech. How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is that I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've only further delayed my trip to meet my friend, whom I promised I'd meet an hour ago."
The woman below smiled and responded, "You must be in Management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you on a lot of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
2007-02-11 12:18:46 · answer #2 · answered by Bender 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
hehe these two are the best
Bright as Alaska in December.
He's lucky he's not a horse, but still likely to get shot anyway.
2007-02-10 21:00:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm German. the theory which you're comparing Hitler to the left wing is particularly unhappy and clearly coach you don't understand historic previous. you recognize Hitler blamed the burning of the Reichstag on the Soviet "Bolshevik danger"? that's why he declared conflict on the U.S.. Hitler became a blend of left and top wing politics. yet to evaluate him to favourite politicians to your very own earnings is disgusting and an insult to those who fought against Hitler, even in Germany as dissenters. "The streets of our usa are in turmoil. the colleges are crammed with scholars rebelling and rioting. Communists try to break our usa. Russia is threatening us along with her could, and the Republic is in hazard. confident - hazard from interior and without. we want regulation and order! without it our usa can't proceed to exist." "usual education is the main corroding and disintegrating poison that liberalism has ever invented for its very own destruction." -Adolf Hitler –Adolf Hitler
2016-10-01 23:05:20 · answer #4 · answered by hansmann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good ones Dave.!!!
10/10.!!!
2007-02-11 00:40:34 · answer #5 · answered by JAM123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dave, loved the telemarketer thing, I was laffed so hard I cried
Genius
2007-02-10 20:49:14 · answer #6 · answered by Emma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good one the sperm one is best 10/10
2007-02-10 20:45:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he works in two speeds stop and reverse..
the lights are on but nobodys home
A few sandwich's short of a picnic basket
When he was born they slapped his mother
2007-02-10 19:55:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha love them 9/10
2007-02-10 20:28:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋