please can someone give advise to cure this behaviour?

Question

we r b/f g/f for 7yrs since we met on internet and 2.5 yrs after meeting in person, we are from different countries, however we have made a big success in getting along very well againt all cultural differences which is not the main cause of the problem. there have been fights over small things or the other.she is very delicate and reacts very fast and stop speaking to me for more than cpl of days, these situations really tortures me bcoz i love her alot and i cannot say to her that we are breakup i am afraid to face the consequences knowing it will be hard to live without her, i knew she too loves me so much.she knew that she is the queen of stories even though still she continue to do stories over small things of which iam really fed up of.On top of everything, after giving a lot of thought, she left her studies which are in the final year to come to me to give 1yr before marriage how the things will go between us.

forget to mention that we have maintained the distance relationship for over 2.5 yrs very successfull with many fights ofcourse.

Answer 1

Ahhh, the old silent treatment. Interestingly, the only person I've ever been in a relationship with who was immature enough to use the silent treatment on my has been my mother! I'm 40 now, so this was years ago, but it worked. However, be warned: this is a strategy that worked for a sixteen year-old daughter on her 40 year old mother. The dynamics of your relationship are totally different, of course.

My mom didn't go to the S.T., often, and I will admit it was usually when I'd done something pretty bad that she did. Still, when you're feeling like you did something that might make someone not love you anymore, it's not a good time for that person to behaving as if that were the case. It wasn't until I was 16 or 17 that I realized how mean it was, and had the independence to fight it. I talked to her about how it made me feel a couple of times, but got nowhere. Then finally I put my plan into action.

I timed, to the minute, the length of the S.T. With my mom, she would usually end the S.T. after about 48 hours, and would just resume talking to you as though nothing had every occured (which is even weirder). When that moment occured, I started my own S.T. with her as my target. It drove her insane with anger, I tell you, but I stuck it out for two days, doing just exactly what she had done to me a few times a year since childhood. Then, two days later, I just started talking to her again. She was relieved, and said she'd never do it again.

There was one more incident a few months later, but the same counter-tactic did the trick.

It's the classic give-them-a-taste-of-their-own-medicine tactic.

Childish? Yes. But less so than the silent treatment, I'd say.

Answer 2

A person who acts like her may be a bit insecure and need/want lots of love and attention from mate. Just tell her you love her but would be happier if the communication, or the relationship itself, would be fairier. I see no problem for a man or woman in repeating hundreds of times that they love the other if it is true and will fix things.

Huh, these internet relationships have already given me a shot in my head..

My best wishes for you.

Answer 3

You need to get her into counseling. Someone else needs to tell her that the silent treatment is not a fair way to fight.

Answer 4

My advise is keep lines of communication open between you-

love concures all- distance...hardship--etc

you will make it if you truly belive and keep honesty and communication open