Today in the shower I recieved Jesus!
While I was getting clean, a great white light descended upon me, and threw me to my knees. It then put something long and hard in my mouth and down my thrroat, like it was trying to kill me!
Then it through me to the ground, and put that thing in my butt! It hurt so bad, I screamed for Jesus, and I heard, "Yeah, say my name!" After an hour of it pumping me, it tensed up, grabbed my throat, and my bottom got very warm inside.
It looked at me, while I cried on the ground and just said, "Yeah, I bet you liked me coming in you," and disappeared.
2007-02-10 18:37:23 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
OMGs... that is so funny. Weird, but funny. :-)
2007-02-10 18:41:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
People mistake Ron Jeremy for god all the time. It happens to the best of us.
2007-02-10 18:40:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think that was Jesus. why would Jesus do that to you? I think that was the Devil, an evil spirit, or a demon. Jesus won't do that do you if he wants you to receive Him, you have to do it yourself.He doesn't force you to receive him.
2007-02-10 18:44:26 · answer #3 · answered by pink_orchid 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Seek some professional help for your humor affliction.
2007-02-10 18:41:38 · answer #4 · answered by lizzieboredom 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It was all one wet dream, sweety.
2007-02-10 18:42:37 · answer #5 · answered by cartiphilus 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, if you say it happened it must be true!!!
2007-02-10 18:44:01 · answer #6 · answered by HONORARIUS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't prove it didn't happen
2007-02-10 18:41:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're retarted!!
2007-02-10 18:42:27 · answer #8 · answered by DALLAS 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋