domestic violance question IMPORTANT Please!!!?

Question

my Husband of 2 1/2 years just got arrested for domestic violance and the police came by and took pictures of my neck and wrist
barely any bruses but they still arrested him and now he is in jail!!!

i am so confused and i could really use some Help!!

what are the steps from now?

is he in a single cell or with other inmates?
if anyone knows

i do feel really bad for him and i am not sure what i can do to help

what is the worst that can happen on Tuesday?
is there anything i can do?

i am in the state of California btw

any help would be very apreciated

BTW we have a huge debt and we could not afford a lawyer or pay any money for him beeing in prison

and i do want to try and work things out possibly with a counselor

any help would be apreciated

Thanks a bunch

N T

Answer 1

Ok enough with this domestic violence BS. It takes two to tango. First off don't taunt the bull unless you want the horns. So many freakin domestic calls I have gone to, like in excess of 90% of them, are always mutual affrays. Meaning both parties keep pushing each others buttons.
Feminazi's have put up all these websites that if a man puffs out his breath out of frustration that you should call 911. Im not saying there are some legitimate cases of abuse, i.e. unprovoked cycles of violence. What I am saying is that women don't get a free pass to do what ever the heck it is they want becuase they are women. Either both parties accept responsibilities for their actions or not. Stop calling uncle sam to win the fight for you.
For all you feminazi's and rookies who haven't worked a real crime yet get a clue.
But if you want to get your husband out of this simply do not show to court. If a follow up investigator calls you tell them that on the same night after your husband beat you up that the officers did not do anything about the aliens that were in your closet and that you were abducted and placed into a space ship where you were raped by aliens. Ask the officer if you can have his personal number do you call them direct if you see the same space ship in your neighborhood again. Demand a report about the alien improprities. Write a letter to the DA's office with your case number and tell them you are declining to pursue charges on this matter...do not speak to them about any of the events that occured that resulted in your husbands arrest other than to pointedly explain that you will not cooperate in any manner with this case. Or better yet hire an attorney to send them a letter informing them of this matter. This should be the end of the issue.
These types of things 9 out of 10 times will halt any warrant being issued on the basis of no probable cause. If they do issue a warrant for your husband and he has to go to court..then you can choose to not appear. If the state is pursuing the charges and you have not filed a complaint then you are only a witness. If they wanted to get crazy then they could issue a writ of body attachment and have you brouhgt in front of the court. Then you can take the 5th because if you testify then you would be incriminating yourself for filing a false report to police.
Reality is that they are not going to go through all this for a simple assault, and don't be calling the freaking police if you don't want him to go to jail. We are not there be referee's..you're an adult if you dont want to be there...then leave him.

Answer 2

well frist thing frist with the way the State's are handeling this matter is whom ever comitted the Domestic Violance is the one going to Jail no questions asked
Second of all if this is his frist offiance he'll spend sometime in jail not Prison an then you an him will have to attend Marriage Classes plus pay for them along with Court cost an any Jail cost for the time he spent in jail but here's the Kicker if you have Children at home the it maight be even worse cause the Court might have him remove from the home an yes It might be costly because of this an the reason i know this is cause i lived in CA for 7 yr's an had a friend who did Lose everything cause of Domestic Violance Charge an all because of one Phone call to the Police
an the Law's that protect the so Called "Abused" Sorry if this isnt what you Wanted to hear but it's the Truth

Answer 3

Honey I am not sure what your question is but I know for a fact domestic violence only gets worse. Obviously his mom can't be trusted because she enables his behavior. You need help quickly. I don't know where you are from but what ever you do, don't trust that your child will be safe or given back to you, if you leave here. Right now the best thing you can do is call a Crisis Center and ask how you can go to a Safe house. Safe Houses are for women and children who need to be rescued from a violent situation at home. Most likely the staff there or even other residents can help you to know what to do next. He has a gun????? Oh my dear, please get away as soon as possible and once you and the baby are safely away, never return to him. I have been a victim my self. After therapy and going to college to be a Counselor I learned how to select a good man and leave the charmers alone.Please Email me. I will be concerned for you now and I am praying for you.

Answer 4

Regrettably, you learned the hard way how crazy domestic violence laws have gotten. An allegation of a raised voice is enough to legally force the police to arrest a man. Even if you recant when they arrive.

As far as what to do? Call the police and find out how long they are required to hold him. Tell them that he is NOT a threat to you, and that you made a mistake in calling.

I don't know what California's laws are regarding domestic violence, but calling an attorney wouldn't be a bad idea. Some offer free advice.(even if they charge for advice, it's worth more than yahoo answers) You might also try to contact the DA's office and tell them that you don't want him prosecuted, and stress that he has no history of violence.

Most states require a "cooling off" period in jail of one to two days. After that, he may be required to attend counseling. I would call the police before doing anything else and fine out what's going to happen.

And if you really want to do something helpful, speak out against the current DV laws. Write to your legislators. Good luck.

Answer 5

Sitting in a cell with most likely 1 inmate.Courts will most likely throw this case out.What u need 2 worry about is handling his *** when he does get out.I would tell him if he does this again, that u will get a restraining order,file 4 divorce and pursue charges against him 2 the fullest extent of the law will allow u 2 do so.

Answer 6

#1 get the HELL away from him before you end up dead--once an abuser always an abuser. I get so sick and tired of hearing how bad someone feels after they have been abused by the spouse------what is it gonna take for all of you ladies to finally realize you are married to a low life scumbag, that has no respect for you what so ever because if he did he would be MAN enough to walk away from you instead of slapping the life out of you. But yet you want to "help" him or take him back because you "love" him and he has promised he will NEVER do it again. Yeah, right, I have seen way too much of this crap over the yrs working in law enforcement-nothing NEVER ends up good out of it. The last lady that said "he promised" he would never do it again, took him back, but this time ( maybe a month later) she no longer was able to say" but he promised" because her family put her in her grave. Now is the time to get yourself out of the situation you are in while he is in jail, go get a "permanent" RESTRAINING order and keep him away from you, period.(ex cop here). You are way too good of a person to have to go thru this -there are plenty of nice, and respectable people out there that would treat you like you deserve to be treated.

Answer 7

stop worring about him he's ok. if he has any sense he'll keep his mouth shut in jail. dont know your whole situation, but you sound like it really hasn't hit you yet that what happened was wrong, no one needs to hit each other. you can replay the whole nite over in your head, and lay blame wherever you will. But no one should ever hit the other person. you need helpright now, you're probably worried about jobs, bills, Is he mad at me etc. Go to a unbiased loving person, counselor, church. You might not know anyone or have the money, but I promise you If you look for a person like this you Will find him/her. your husband will get out soon, you should realize alot of things and get help. I was married to a great guy, when he wasn't beating my A .I was imbarrased, my parents didn't even know, I tried everything. I finally left before the abuse took all of my spirit out of me. years later I met a great guy we were having a great deal of financial stress, he shoved me i fell through our coffee table, the police were called, he went to jail. We went through alot of grief, but we got through that altercation noone has ever hit,shoved,or abused anyone in our household ever again. good people make mistakes, I've seen it both ways, one honestly made a bad mistake and learned from it, One put me through hell for years. No on should hit another person, especially in a relationship. good luck

Answer 8

He needs to know that you will NOT tolerate violence. If he gets some therapy/counseling THEN you can consider whether you might get counseling together but he MUST get help first or you need to get out! I mean it and I know how you must feel very emotionally torn but you cannot tolerate abuse or your life could end up in danger. These things don't get better but worse. Do NOT let things escalate for your own benefit. There is nothing you or anyone else could possibly do that will make someone resort to violence if it isn't a part of their way of dealing with things already. It's not acceptable and you cannot allow it to be.

Answer 9

As much as you may love this guy (he is not a man) he has no rights to hurt you. Let the courts take care of it, they will assign him a lawyer. Victim/Witness assistance can get you into counseling and explain the whole process to you. It is going to be difficult and I know how hard it can be.
Honestly you sound like you are in denial about what has happened and that is very common. As for counseling, the state will pay for yours and he will most likely have to take anger management classes.

Answer 10

Normally he will be convicted of domestic violance, be sentenced to mandatory anger management classes of about 52 week, a few fines around $400 to domestic violence fund, and a minimum of 20 hours of community service, and usually about 90 days of custody time.