How Can I Open Up to my boyfriend.?

Question

I am dealing with some very bad things that happened to me 6 years ago and I am having a tough time dealing with it and my boyfriend is tired hearing me talk about it, having the nightmares or even crying about it. How can I open up to him without him yelling at me about it.

Answer 1

he may not understand whats going on with you..he doesnt sound very supportive of you..if he truely cared, he wouldnt make you feel bad and would be supportive..the only way i can think of making him understand is by just telling him to please let you talk, dont say anything until your finished talking, then ask him how he feels..thats a way of helping him understand whats going on in your head and also gives him a moment to let his feelings out..i dont know what else to say..good luck

Answer 2

I agree with the first two answers somewhat. I honestly think you may need some reflection time. Though it's not a great time to be alone. It may not be a good time for you to be in a committed serious intimate relationship. It's probably very hard for him to handle your situation. Unfortunately he's acting out in a very immature way. I'm not sure what your issues are but if they're hard for you to work through they might be that much harder for a boyfriend to help you with. Having that feeling of helplessness, confusion and concern all at once is hard to maintain. You may want to seek professional help as well as getting rid of your boyfriend. You really can't open up to a person that wants you to shut up. You know what I mean? If he's not willing to hear you, you can't open up to him. All you can do is open the door and let him choose weather to stay or go. Still you have to get a clear understanding of your situation . Learn how to handle what you're feeling. Before you can be in a relationship. I just think if you don't find someone to help you. Someone that is willing to listen. You might find yourself loosing your current boyfriend and many more. Then you will have a new abandonment problem. That will send you into a depression. So focus on yourself right now. Work on what's hurting you and then try to open up to a new boyfriend.

Answer 3

Normally I would say that he could have opened the account just out of curioisity. But the fact he watches porno is not a good sign, especially considering how suddenly he is acting this way. Often porno seems harmless, and it CAN be. But more likely than not he is watching it because he has unrealistic ideals of what sex should be and what a woman should be, and you will never be able or willing to fulfill his unrealistic fantasies. THAT is the problem with pornography for a lot of men. Now he is suddenly looking for an adult lover online? I don't think it is a coincidence. You SHOULD feel betrayed. You have three choices on the matter: 1. Ignore it and hope it goes away. It won't, and you'll either be a female cuckold or he'll dump you. 2. Talk to him about it. Find out why he did it. Find out what is wrong. Maybe he is depressed. Maybe he is confused. Maybe he WAS just curious. Regardless, SOMETHING is wrong with him and your relationship, and in order to work it out, you both need to talk about it. 3. Dump him. You deserve better. Unfortunately, no one can decide what you should do except for you. It's a tough situation to be in. Good luck!

Answer 4

6 years is a very long time dealing with something so dramatic that causes you nightmares. Your boyfriend is not a physiologist, no matter how much he loves you, if this problem is such load that keep you in fear, in some way it's normal that he's getting tired of the situation.
You need to get professional help, and I'm sure he'll support you.
Take the load of your boyfriend.

Answer 5

if all of this stuff is happening to you because of this experience then he should know that it is very significant to you, but i think that can be a lot of pressure on someone to be the one that you come to with something like that, maybe hes frustrated because he doesn't know how to really help you and he ends up letting out his frustration by yelling at you. see when you are hurting and he can't help you he feels out of control and he takes cotrol over the situation by yelling, i think you should try to talk to someone else until he realizes what he is doing to you and is mature enough to handle things differently.

Answer 6

Well first of all if he loves/likes you he shouldn't yell at you about it. if u really like him and think your problem is coming between your relationship you should seek proffessional help or an alternative. it seems like no matter how you say your problems to him, he would sound annoyed and yell at you cos im guessing you've been telling him over and over again of what happened to you and because of this the empathy (him relating or even caring) to your problems have lost its effect. in the end it sup to you what you want to do...it would be stupid for me to say to you to forget about your problems and get on with your life cos we arent computers and we cant just put our files (memories) into teh rubbish bin....my advice would be to use your experiences to become stronger instead of talking about how traumatic they were, thus seeming weak. xoxo -kristina-

Answer 7

Doesn't sound like he is trying to be very supportive for u. If he really loved u and cared for u, he would be there to listen to WHATEVER you had to say, and help u thru anything. I personally think u should find someone to talk to to help u thru this, and say goodbye to your boyfriend. You deserve alot better than that. Good luck.

Answer 8

Communication is important.
Seems like he does not want to understand you. Maybe it's time for you to move on. Find someone else who will listen to you not yell at you.
Good luck.

Answer 9

How about getting a new boyfriend who is not a jerk? That might help.
Seriously, if you are having a rough time then he should be there for you.

Answer 10

To be alone is scary, but to be with someone that doesn't want to be there for you when you need them is worse. If he isn't there for you, dump him. You deserve better. It's a big world out there and someone will be there to listen to you and help you out.