We'll be getting married on the 28th of July and we don't need gifts. However, not having a great deal of money we could use assistance on a downpayment for a house. Any ideas how we could address that? Just sending out regular cards but only having a fund set up on our wedding web site and not being registered at any stores for gifts?
2007-02-10 14:49:39 · 21 answers · asked by Locke15 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No No No...it is never right or okay to ask for MONEY...good grief.......accept the toasters, send a nice thank you letter/note; then take the darn thing back...but don't ask for money...tacky tacky tacky.......don't do it!
2007-02-10 14:56:24 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 4⤊ 4⤋
Just do not register anywhere. Most people give money as gifts at a wedding. And if you do get something other than money you can always return it to a store and get a refund. Also tell your parents and your fiances parents that you want and only need money for presents. Trust me they will spread the word.
2007-02-14 16:29:00 · answer #2 · answered by ANGIE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget all those people that say it's rude. It's only rude if people feel that you will dictate how much! These days a wishing well is a wonderfull option.
We are planing on having an ANNONOMYS wishing well. Inside the invites we are having a little poem, you can google for all sorts of poems, or make one up.... One we really liked starts with
Since we've already lived in sin,
We've got our linen and garbage bin,
We expect company only,
But we know you lot,
We have envelopes ready and a great big pot.
So rather than gifts that will take up room,
Envelopes will suit donations for our honeymoon.
As long as the money donations are annonomys, and no one feels that they have to give more than they would have oherwise spend on a gift it's ok. I once gave $5 at a wedding (I was a student), and a few hundred at another.....
It all depends on how you present the idea.
2007-02-11 00:47:13 · answer #3 · answered by Isabel 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I'm in the camp that thinks it's rude to specifically ask for money -- even if you find a "clever" way to do it. Even if you do end up mentioning it to people you're close to, I highly recommend not including that tidbit as part of your invitation.
Asking for money or including registry cards in invitations totally takes away from the gesture of the invitation. People who plan to spend some money on you (be it writing a check or buying a gift) will likely ask you or someone close to you what you need and/or where you're registered. Granted, you'll likely be sending some invites to people you haven't been in touch with for a while who may not have any idea what to get you, so you could end up with a fuzzy pink toilet seat cover -- but that shouldn't matter because the point of getting in touch with those people via wedding invitation should have been to invite them to your wedding, not to secure yourself a present (or even worse -- a highly specific, "we want you to give us this exact thing or else we will be disappointed" gift).
2007-02-11 01:30:53 · answer #4 · answered by Joanie 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes it is ok. I am getting married and my invitations will state that it is a "wishing well" reception. I will have an elaborately decorated wishing well sitting on it's own table at the reception, where people can drop envelopes/cards with cash, checks, etc. It's the way to go as far as I'm concerned. It's saves people time and energy from shopping. I already have a house and already have the things that most people register for. Look at some of the wedding sites you can even buy a pre decorated wishing well, or a basic one and decorate it yourself.
Congrats
2007-02-11 00:10:18 · answer #5 · answered by fefe917 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
No, this is totally rude and tacky. If you really, really don't want gifts, there are ways to relate that politely - but NOT for money, or gift cards - for your house, honeymoon, nursery, etc.
Guests to your wedding are not obligated to give gifts, but most do. They want to give something for the new couple starting out. It would be much better if you would just somehow find it in your hearts to accept any gifts that you receive graciously, and be polite about it.
Both of you could be working hard to save money for your house.
2007-02-11 06:53:16 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Etiquette dictates not asking for money or for that matter asking for a present anyway especially in the invitations. You are inviting people to share your joy. They are your guests to your event. IF they so desire to express their love for you on this most happiest of occassions, THEY decide on how to express it. Now, they may inquire as to what would be appropriate and that is where educating the people who are most likely to be asked.
When your friends and family are throwing you showers, that is when your desired gifts are indicated directly.
Just make sure you are prepared for Aunt Edna to give you some hideous gift anyway.
Write your thank you cards promptly and be thankful for your friends and family who express their love for your new family.
2007-02-11 05:16:03 · answer #7 · answered by Carol D 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, (no matter how much you want to) you just can't ask people for money. Asking for money or placing a card in the invitation specifying your registry goes hand-in-hand: they equate the guest with the gift AND they give the impression that you expect gifts.
The other wedding planner said it best: Tell your bridal party. It is their job to spread the word on your registries or, in this case, your wish for money.
Best of luck (and sorry we've been hard on you -- you aren't the first people to ask this question...)
2007-02-11 00:04:35 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet Susie 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
when my friend got married, they included in the wedding invitation a small card which goes something like, you can also contribute to our money tree. thats a subtle way of saying that you don't need gifts :) anyway, i think you can be subtle about it rather than be stuck with gifts that you will not use and do not need :)
2007-02-11 02:41:34 · answer #9 · answered by misschief80 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've seen people put up a money tree. Usually next to the guest book at the entry way. People may not have cash cause they weren't planning on it, but most people do have a check book handy. If you don't register anywhere more then likely they'll drop you a little cash.
2007-02-10 23:51:56 · answer #10 · answered by WRANGLERCHIK 1 · 3⤊ 2⤋
This is the ultimate in bad manners! You invite guests to celebrate the exchanging of vows, not to pay for your party, or your house!!!! Get an apartment and start saving!
2007-02-14 12:49:54 · answer #11 · answered by Icewomanblockstheshot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋