should a man have to pay child support for kids that were concieved deceptively?

Question

Ok, a friend of mine is going through a bad divorce, both times she got pregnant she told him that she was using birth control and after showing up pregnant she admitted that she wasnt and she was wanting a a baby. He is more than happy to pay support now (even though she's taking him to the cleaners) and I just wanted a few opinions on this. I don't think the state should have to pay for the kids, I'm not saying that at all. She is also trying to send him to prison for something he did not do and it looks like she's going to succeed. I realize that women get pregnant while on birth control and that it isnt 100% and of course thats kind of a risk that both parties take when having consentual sex, but when a person is outright lied to about the other person being on birth control, what do you think about this? I"d like womens opinions as well as mens. Thanks!

they were unmarried the first time she pulled this, married the second time she pulled this.

Answer 1

I don't think that is right. The poor guy is having his life being torn apart because the woman couldn't be honest with him, and now he's the one paying for it. Set the man free!

Answer 2

Yes I think he should just for the simple fact that you know if you have sex that the end result could be a child. I don't think it is right for someone to lie about birth control but the kids still need to be taken care of and after all the is the most important thing is the children.

Answer 3

An unfair situation but if the children are his yes he will have to pay child support and it something he should have really expected seeing as he was married, unfortunately this is a problem that will always exist, I can see the child support claims in Oz on the increase with the Federal Government offering $4000 per baby we have now, it is a system that was introduced last year to encourage Australians to have children and the minister actually said on national t.v. 'one for mum, one for dad and one for the country' so there has already been a slight baby boom, young girls and even women my age are suddenly having babies now.

Answer 4

I think that they both made the decision to have sex. The man should have considered all of the possibilities before doing this. Like you said, birth control is not 100% and she still could have gotten pregnant. He should pay support.

Answer 5

This question gets at the core of trust and deception and whether or not you should have sex (or at the very least unprotected sex) with someone who you do not trust or think is trustworthy. The bottom line is if you are not sure, wear some protection. If you did the deed and are the genetic father, you are morally and legally responsible. If there is legitimate or deliberate deception, there may be legal recourse for the father, but if the sex is consensual, daddy gotta pay!

Answer 6

The child is still there no matter how it was conceived and it still needs support. By disallowing support you punish the child, not the mother.

I would suggest he get DNA tests done on both children, then proceed with child support. If she gets him sent to prison, she will receive the bare minimum of support from the state.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of women out there who have been raised to take advantage of men. The best defense a man has is to keep his pants zipped.

Answer 7

when you have sex you are taking responsability for your actions. everyone knows that if you have sex there is a chance you could have a child.

your friend fell for the woman's lies more than once. after the first time i feel that he is definitely to blame.

we also must remember that there are ALWAYS two sides to every story. i am sure that she isn't the only one at fault.

the fact is that these are your friends children, plotted, planned, or whatever! they deserve to be taken care of and they deserve a mother and father that love them.

hope everything works out for the best interest of the children.

take care,
SD

Answer 8

One sometimes men need to understand women lie... its not uncommon and so a male shouldn't take a women's word on being on birth control. If i was a guy i would always wear a rubber. Yes i think he should have to pay. He needs to be a responsible adult in this situation too. I don't understand how she is sending him to prison for something he didn't do. usually you need proof to do this. besides one witness. everyone knows one witness can't get you in jail. You need more proof. being her husband.. wouldn't he know if she is taking her pills or not. I usually took mine in front of my husband b/c my dumb butt always forgot to take them.. that is why my husband would remind me each night. Sorry about your friend.. he should have been more responsible though... atleast in my opinion anyways.

Answer 9

Well, the guy is responsible for birth control, too. He could have insisted on a condom (better anyways for hygienic purposes). So, yes, he should have to pay child support. It was totally wrong of her, but everyone knows when you have sex, you run the risk of pregnancy and/or STDs. If he is old enough to get it up and use it, he is old enough to use it responsibly and deal with the consequences of it. :)

PS I know several women who have done this. I would think a guy would probably know of this possibility, but was just too horny to really care. ;)

Answer 10

*** honestly...if I was a guy I wouldn't be lettin any chick control the whole birth control thing. there's too many women out there who've lied about taking the pill when they're not. unless i was willing to have a kid i'd be using condoms all the way. say what u will but unless i wanted someone else deciding my life for me i'd take the precautions necessary.

Answer 11

I don't believev he should. I have strong feeling on teh child support issues. When a man isn't ready for a child whether he expressed his feelings or not he has to pay for everything. When a woman finds out that sh eis pregnant she can have an abortion even if teh man is ready.Why is it okay if they want to keep it on their own he still has to pay, but if he want sit she can kill it? It is her body they say. Well untill abortion is illegal it will always be unfair. My male friend went through a lot of pain when a girl had an abortion with his child and he wanted nothing more than to have the child. Give it to me he pleaded, but no sh ehad one anyways. Why do we as a society act like men have no feelings in this matter. We act like all dads are dead beat and in divorces ect.. the women should get the child or children. We can sure mak emen pay, but we can't give them equal rights? Yaeh there are dead beat dads, but also a lot of dead beat moms. What are we teaching our children. Daddy pays me for you, but he can't see you beacsue in teh last court date they raised his support and he has to work more. Than we he does have time to see you, he doesn't have any money to do anything with you. Maybe we should be making tehm spend time instead of paying money. any treal parent who sees their child will see what teh child needs and make sure the child gets. Its all you hear when a women gets mad at a man. Then here comes teh child support issue. a lot of men pay because teh woman is on welfare. He can pay his part but what is she doing? Collecting and thats it. She usually gets housing assistance and anyother kind of assistance available. So its like only the man has to be responsible. All women have to do is have children and they are set. The man doesn't even get to claim the children on his taxes, even though he has to pay every month to support teh children or he goes to jail.