I was a Gay and i have lots of gay friends and 2-3 lovers as well, but now I am in love with a girl and cant live without her...Now my friends think that I am ditching them....what Should I do?
2007-02-10 14:28:58 · 45 answers · asked by rahul 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi there,
First of all, dont think that you are ditching your friends now because if you had more than one lover(as you wrote), you were ditching others in a way. Now when you love a girl which is a good thing because the relationships that you were trying to develop with guys are ( not anything abnormal or bad but) unacceptable in the society. If you marry a girl, that will be beneficial for you because you can then start your family which would have not been possible if you had married a guy.
So be happy that you are in love....enjoy.
2007-02-10 14:37:28 · answer #1 · answered by Sam- the "big boss" 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Pray to God to help you figure it out.
I would say go for it! Get married to a girl, have children be a husband and a daddy...
BUT, if those sentences frighten you...if you think you may not want that...then do the girl a favor and just be friends until you get things straight.
The last thing you would want to do is decide you ARE gay and want a gay lover and break her heart down the line. That wouldn't be fair.
I don't know that it is possible to be gay then not be gay then be gay. I am not sure what makes someone gay and another person not. I think honestly it may be different for each and every person that deals with it.
So figure it out. Meditate, pray, ponder, read up on it....listen to your heart and common sense together.
I don't think you can have your cake and eat it too in this situation. Unless you want a mess of pain and betrayal.
Good luck.
2007-02-10 14:35:23 · answer #2 · answered by BellaLuna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept that you are neither gay nor straight, but bisexual. Your true friends won't care either way, though they may need some time to get used to knowing you in a different way. Follow your heart. It's great that you found someone to love. Good luck.
2007-02-10 14:32:46 · answer #3 · answered by Yomi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to tell you a short story about a girl that loves everyone equally. I know her well. She has doubts about herself but the people around her love her very much no matter what she does. One day she said I am in love with Him, Mom. Then he beat her up. My Husband in turn beat him like a redheaded stepchild. The Bastard went down, not anyone in our Family is judging her new girfriend. Stay true to you and the rest will follow. Be strong and follow what your heart tells you to do!!!!!!
2007-02-10 14:53:34 · answer #4 · answered by LEE PAGE M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are bi, so, if you really care for this girl, you wouldn't still have 2-3 lovers still...get rid of them, stop listening to your friends, and see what happens with the girl...have time alone without your friends being involved and be nice to them and say, you are trying to figure this out, give me some space so I can see, if they are your true friends they will understand...if not, they arn't your friends...but, you need space with just you and her to figure out if what you are feeling is real true feelings, but, with having lovers with her...sounds to me like it's not...you two need to get away and see one another and be truthful with her, let her know you thought you were gay, and may still be, but, you care for her and this is new...and you would like to explore it with her..and see what happens, but, be honest, be yourself, and if you two are meant to be it will happen if not..and your friends won't cooperate, you don't need them...good luck
2007-02-10 14:37:20 · answer #5 · answered by Confused 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as I know it is perfectly normal for someone who thought they were 100% gay to be BI. Tell your friends that you are not ditching them but you can not help who you fall in love with. Is that not what they say when people critisize them for being gay?
2007-02-10 14:31:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hmmmm. This is a little oppossite what we've been hearing lately with gays coming out of the closet. Tell your friends that just as they would like and even expect their friends and family to respect their choice to be gay you want the same from them with your choice to be straight. Blessings
2007-02-10 14:33:03 · answer #7 · answered by Kimber 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe your bi. I mean I consider myself straight but I also say I fall in love with people and it has nothing to do with their gender. If you love someone and they happen to be a girl thats fine. And tell your friends that it would be there would be hypocrites to be mad at you for your preference. And let them know it's not bc she is female it is bc of the person she is.
2007-02-10 14:33:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the beautiful and wonderful Rosie O'Donnell just said recently, no one is 100% heterosexual and no one is 100% gay. We all have varying degrees of both because as human beings, we are all capable of loving one another regardless of what specific genitalia we have! I couldn't have put it better myself. You love whom you love, don't get so hung up on whether they're male or female and your friends shouldn't care, either, as long as you're happy!
2007-02-10 14:33:47 · answer #9 · answered by answergrrl3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can't help it if your in "love", but make sure its really love. If so then tell your friends that maybe you can be bisexual or that your done being gay and that if they were any kind of friend they would support you.
2007-02-10 14:32:07 · answer #10 · answered by ◘BRITTANY◘ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋