I'm 35, and have been hurt and dissapointed too many times. I was married to my kids father for 6 years and he cheated on me. Engaged to a man for 4 years only to be told that he didn't want to get married due to all the drama his ex-wife took him through, so I ended it. I've been dating a good man a little over a month, and I know he wants a relationship, we have not had sex, but come very close to it, he respects the fact that I don't want casual sex. However I do like him alot and spending time with him, but I'm scared to give another man my heart. I have 2 kids 15, 11, so it's not just about me, they have been hurt as well. And are afraid to let anyone get close to them as well. I don't know how to trust again, or where to start, I don't want to push him away, but at the same time I don't want to rush into anything, but how will I know I'm ready to trust, love, or be with him sexually without confussing the feelings with lust and desire?
2007-02-10 14:09:08 · 7 answers · asked by hollarbackatchagurl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think if having sex with him is something you're having doubts about, then you shouldn't do it. It doesn't matter WHY you're doubting... wheather it be your aversion to casual sex or your kids... dont do it unless you KNOW you won't regret it.
I would also avoid letting the kids get to know him... the two older ones are probably old enough that they're not going to like anyone you bring home for fear that YOU will get hurt again.
2007-02-10 14:44:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First rule: Do NOT allow sex to come into the picture. It clouds judgements and makes break-ups worse!
After that: Don't allow your children to have contact with him until you're sure about him. This will make sure your children don't get hurt if it "doesn't work out". If you are unable to trust him the relationship will end anyway so you need to trust. Remember: "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Don't trust blindly...he should earn your trust!
2007-02-10 14:15:11 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably need to take some time to work on your trust issues. Believe me, I totally get where you are coming from. You'll never be able to function in a relationship until you take care of yourself and your own insecurities.
2007-02-10 14:13:06 · answer #3 · answered by cy ko tic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heavy thoughts! Life gets a bit crazy at times, but it's something we all go through in the learning process of love. But don't think of it as trusting "him", but of trusting you! Learn to trust yourself, rediscover the confidence in yourself, rediscover your inner voice, and follow your heart! If you want to IM me, mygypsyspirit will get you there! Take care!
2007-02-10 14:17:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First try to understand him & ask his seriousness in a true relation ship. If he agrees only then proceed further you will never be hurt.
2007-02-10 14:15:27 · answer #5 · answered by P S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wish i could find some love after all the **** i've been through
2007-02-10 14:13:09 · answer #6 · answered by daniel a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋