What should I know about moving in with my boyfriend?

Question

We've been together for four and a half years. I hear such a bad rap about moving in before marriage but some good stories too. What do I believe? I want to marry him eventually but I think we are both still young (24) and waiting until we finish school and have enough for a downpayment on a house before we make the leap.

Answer 1

What you should know about before you move in with your boyfriend:

1) Divide the bills. Try to make them 50/50 or at least in ratio with what you each make. Score keeping is common when you are starting out.

2) Keep your own savings/checking account. Dependence is not attractive, and money is always an issue in new relationships.

3) Have hobbies or interests outside of him, and EXPECT that he will have some outside of you.

4) Keep alcohol consumption at a minimum.

5) Don't seek advice from the in-laws unless you do it together.

6) Ask yourself what your favorite thing about him is every night.

7) Ask him what his favorite thing that happened that day was as well.

8) Every once in awhile, hop in the shower with your lingerie still on.

9) Have reasonable, but high expectations in your partnership. Communicate them and live up to them.

10) Don't compromise yourself. There is a big difference between understanding that he is going to do things his way, and sacrificing your own standards to adapt.

Live well

Answer 2

Good girl is right.

Your line about being to young and wanting to finish school makes no sense. If you can go to school while you live together, why can't you go to school while you are married? And don't need a house to be married, there are apartments.

If you are living together and sleeping together then you have all the responsibilities of marriage, but none of the protections. It will cost the same as being married, but you don't have any of the commitment. If you are afraid of the commitment of marriage, then you aren't ready to live together either. You could wind up pregnant and then he can just blow town and where does that leave you?


It sounds to me like this guy is comfortable but deep down you don't consider him the "the one". He's a known quantity, you don't have to worry about who will take you out on Valentines Day or Christmas, so you want to keep him around; but he's not terribly exciting anymore, and you want to be able to dump him if something better comes along once you are out of college.

IF that is true then you certianly should not marry him, at least not now, probably not ever. However it really isn't very fair to him to keep playing him that way. You could very well drift into a marriage just because all your friends are getting married and you've been together so long. Then what happens to him? It is no fun being married to a woman who "just doesn't think of you THAT way anymore..."

Answer 3

Depending on your moral/religious/ethical views you can get many different answers. I believe you should always live with someone before marrying them. You will learn a lot. I think you are old enough to make a healthy decision for your relationship. I see no problem with two 24 year olds living together and I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 4

I think moving in together could be a mistake. What do you really want? If you want to get married, then don't move in together without a commitment, a timeline and a ring.
It will be to easy for him to put it off if you have moved in. And it might be hard for you to move on if you need to if all your stuff is at his place. It would be hard to break up and move out, especially if you at all get yourself dependent on him financially.
Four years is a long time. You may still be too young to get married, but after four years, I would think he would know you are the one. If he isnt sure, then you need to move on. That is if you want to get married. If you dont want to get married ever... then go for it!

Answer 5

$1500 isn't countless funds. reckoning on the position you flow, that could purely very last you 2 about a month. you should take under consideration food expenditures, toilettries, cable, laundry expenditures, information superhighway, etc. there are such countless extras that seem to "arise" once you flow out and proceed to exist your own.... I moved out on my own for a million three hundred and sixty 5 days back even as i became 19 - large mistake! i'd have had so a lot extra money and such countless a lot less concerns. i imagine you and your bf should be reasonable and flow out collectively once you're in a chance-free monetary state and/or married. because in case you 2 were reasonable, you may comprehend that shifting out at age 18 had no advantages. quite in case you signal a lease, you should chance messing up your credit in case you won't be able to pay your lease on time... that is something you may be apologetic about! i'm not holding that's thoroughly stupid - it in basic terms became for me because it ended up not being worth it in any respect. i'd have lived at abode for loose. i'd stay at abode see you later as you are able to!

Answer 6

Moving in with your partner is going to change your life. You will get to know him better than anyone you have ever known in your life. Every idiosyncracy, every bad habit will surface. You guys will fight and personal boundries will be tresspassed. But you get to fall asleep with the person you love most in this world every night, then wake up to his face every morning!
Good Luck

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Answer 7

What comes to my mind is what everyone used to say to me about my ex-boyfriend: Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free" Some times it works, sometimes it does not. Good luck!

BTW...I will never just "live" with someone ever again.

Answer 8

uhhh.... i think thats awesome yall have fun!!!!!!!!!!!
use a condom!!!!!