When we first started going out, everything was going so great. He is a wonderful guy and everything but for the past few weeks, our love life fizzled out and things have gotten in a boring routine. Lately, whenever I talk to other guys I start feeling this strong physical attraction and I even made out with this one guy. I have been so consumed not sure what to do. Now when my fiance tries to be intimate with me, I don't really want to do anything with him. The only way I feel good kissing him or anything is thinking about the other guy. We are both going to the same school so it would be very hard to avoid each other. We even had plans to move in a place together and everything. I just feel like we're moving too fast.
2007-02-10 13:56:34 · 18 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
sit your fiancee down and tell him how you are feeling..telling him the truth will help..dicsussing the truth will make breaking off the engagement easier..i know this is going to hard but it's the best thing to do if you are not ready for this.
2007-02-10 14:02:03 · answer #1 · answered by butterflyheaveng 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a quiet place to talk to him *in person*. No over the phone or computer things here. Make sure you can do this in a place with no interruptions. Ask him if he is happy with the relationship, and what he wants out of it - what he sees for the future. Listen to him, and then take a deep breath and tell him how you feel. If you feel the way you do, I'm sure he probably also feels similar. If you don't feel anything with intimacy with him, I'm sure he notices it.
It doesn't matter if you two are going to the same school and it would be uncomfortable to see eachother a lot - thats a pretty poor reason to not end a dying relationship and move on to happier times for the both of you! I think there is more of a problem than you feeling he is moving too fast - you just don't have the chemistry required for a long term relationship.
Don't stay in a bad relationship and miss out on other experiences, you will regret it. Yes it does hurt initially, but thats how we learn and better ourselves! Give yourself time alone before you jump to this new guy, you need to figure yourself out and what *you* want. Good luck!
2007-02-10 14:40:06 · answer #2 · answered by Emerald 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just be up front and honest in a nice way. I think you should break it off because you are moving too fast. I think a relationship takes time and effort. You really don't know each other all that well. I mean to truly know a person you have to spend a lot of time with each other. You have to get to know his background and he needs to know yours. I mean because if you don't ....it won't be long before you hate each other. I don't think you should move in together because things would really get boring. It is the little dates, dumb notes, sweet cards...time....effort....it is the small things that come together help individuals develop a relationship....In my opinion, it sounds like you need stay apart any way because you aren't ready to settle down and that is normal. Getting a place together is out. Being apart increases spontaneity. If it is meant to be it will be but if not then hey it won't be. Three months isn't long enough to know someone though because nine times out of then you are just scratching the service.......It takes time...you need to see someone at their best or worst....There are several other factors too. If you plan on being together.....will he be able to support you in every area (financial, emotionally, mentally, physically) Does the other person have the mind of a grown person or child. Do they take care of business or not...I mean there are so many other factors that contribute to being together......What I would do is pray about the situation. I would pray until I got a clear answer from God. He will give you an answer plainly. Don't go by your emotions because they can steer you in the wrong direction go by the answer that God gives you. me personally I would be like ok God if I am suppose to be with this person let me know....if I am not break it up...That is my personal opinion.
2007-02-10 14:16:48 · answer #3 · answered by Luchiana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been engaged for 3 months, but how long have you been together?
EVERY relationship hits times when things get a little crazy or boring.
But for some reason I don't think that's the problem here. You don't want to be tied down to any one person right now. And that's okay, you're still quite young.
What you need to do is sit your fiance down & tell him you just aren't ready to be married. And no matter how gentle you are, he's going to be hurt. But it's better now than 6 months after the wedding.
2007-02-10 18:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to your fiancee and tell him exactly how you feel.A relationship does not automatically stay great but takes effort and communication. There are many ways to spice up or revive a waning sex life but it takes talking to each other and listening to each other.He may not know how you feel and as long as hes not aware no changes will occur.Also to make a relationship last there has to be a commitment to the relationship -that if there is a problem effort is made to resolve it. In your case it seems as if you've turned your back on the problem and your relationship but starting to look elsewhere to find what your realtionship lacks>Perhaps before anything you need to ask yourself just how committed are you.
2007-02-10 14:11:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fiance of 3 months? Yeah I'd say you guys are going a little to fast. You probably are confused. You guys haven't been going out that long... and it sounds like you don't know what you want. Get your feelings together and then pick a guy. Just don't string them both along at the same time. Oh and yes, take your time. Plenty of time for marriage.
2007-02-10 14:03:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been engaged for three months , you find your love life boring , you are attracted to other guys and you acted on it by making out with one., and when your fiance tries to be intimate you dont want anything to do with him.
hmmm... what to do ... gee ... thats hard .... (< this is sarcasm)
you know what you want to do ....
dump him , its better for him to be rid of you.
I'll give you a little hint if you havent figured it out yet , a relationship with another person does tend to fall into a routine. If you are not happy with it its up to you to change it .
2007-02-11 05:16:47 · answer #7 · answered by mark 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Tell HIM to slow down"?!?! WTF?! Like he is the only one in the relationship. Stop blaming the other one for everything, I hate it when it's always the guy that is supposed to be guilty. Perhaps you should not have gotten engaged in the first place, did you ever think about that? Next time in the heat of the moment you'll find yourself with babies, and I guess it will again be the guy who should have taken things slower. Wake up, lil girl.
2007-02-10 14:18:33 · answer #8 · answered by harakiri 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
haha, dang. Yeah you want out and QUICK!
Just tell him the truth. It'll hurt him, but better a little sting now then a huge one at the altar.
Good luck and you're doing the right thing for both of you by breaking it off.
2007-02-10 14:38:37 · answer #9 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel this way now you need to end it. Divorce is a awful thing to have to go through. Just tell him you think things are moving too fast and you need to catch your breath. If he truly loves you he will wait until you are ready.
2007-02-10 14:03:07 · answer #10 · answered by Redhead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋