should i go behind my parents back?

Question

ok, im 14 years old and im now in my
first year of highschool.and i just met
this guy i really like, and everything about him is great Hes cute,
really funny and smart but theres one HUGE problem
hes half black and my family
is really racist. i dont know
what to do i heard from several
people that hes
likes me too and hes going to ask me out
but i dont know what to do.
Should i go out
with him behind my parents back. or what do
i tell him otherwise? i really like
this guy and want to be with him but
there is absolutley no reasoning with my
parents. they wouldnt even TRY
to get to no him. they are totally against it.
what should i do?

p.s. hes also a year older than me
and please dont tell me im too young to date or just tell me how bad my family is for being racist. its not me its them.

thanx.

Answer 1

No you shouldn't go behind your parents back. If your parents find out then you will not be trusted again. My daughter went through the same thing that you are going through. She had enough respect for us to do the right thing and to come and talk to us about it. My husband was against it at first but I told him that he should be proud of our daughter that she cared enough about our feelings to come and ask us first instead of going behind our backs and dealing with the consequences later. I knew the boy that she was talking about and I liked him. He was always very well mannered and very respectful. I told my husband that the only reason he was against it was the color of his skin and that if he was a white boy that he would be okay with our daughter dating him. He came to his senses and our daughter dated the boy for a year and everything turned out fine. So trust in your parents and you might be surprised by the outcome. It will mean alot to them that you are mature enough to confide in them and be truthful in this situation. If you go behind their backs they will have trust issues with you.

Answer 2

I would seriously weigh the outcome of this action before I did it since they are totally against it. Your parents, whether I agree with them or not, could decide that they no longer trust you. For your parents to lose trust will cause you to not be allowed to do a lot of things that you would normally be allowed. You never go behind your parents backs and do anything that they do not want you to. When you move out on your own, then you can do what you want. As for now, tell the guy your parents will not agree with you dating him. I am not going to tell you that your parents are bad, as they are your parents who love you and think they are protecting you. There are black parents who do not want their teens dating whites either. It is their right as the parent. But you on the other hand, stay the sweet understanding person you are and some day things will hopefully be different, and everyone will care about each other.

Answer 3

NO-NO-NO-NO-NO!! Do not, by any means, go behind your parents' back!! If you do, and they find out, you will lose their trust, and you will have a very hard time getting it back.

I understand that they are racist, and that's an awful thing to be. Explain the situation to him, and if he really loves you, he will understand. Once you are 18, or whatever the age of consent is in your state, you can see him as much as you like, and your parents would be able to say a thing, though they'll probably try.

I know that four years is a long time, but it will pass much more quickly that you realize. In fact, it's a good test to see if he truly likes/loves you. If he doesn't, and you've gone behind your parents' back to see him, you will have risked losing their trust for nothing.

Trust me: it's better to wait.

Answer 4

The racial thing is probably not as big a deal as you think, but the fact that you are only 14 is...I don't think it's wise to chance destroying the relationship with your parents and endangering yourself, whether this guy likes you or not. Things like this always end up badly because PARENTS ALWAYS FIND OUT, and in the end, years from now, you will want to have made the right decision. Remember, there is PLENTY of time for you to find the right guy, the one you meet at 14 isn't the one you will be with the rest of your life, you know?

Answer 5

This exact thing happen to me when I was 14...My father is sooo racist against blacks..I was soo scared to tell him...my mother not so much...Anyways the best thing to do is 1st find out whats going to happen between you and this guy..and if both of you end up getting the hook up...Tell your parents, even if it causes a fight..but is he worth the fight..you need to ask yourself if this guy is worth all the trouble..cause its not going to be a pretty picture..When you tell your parents tell them, that slavery days are over and I'm not saying i wanna marry this guy or even have children..I just like him and he likes me...We get along really good and im sorry you taught me to be around people that are nice respectful kind and he is all that plus more...I don't see colour..I see a good person...BUT you really need to ask yourself is he worth it..don't go behind your parents back either cause if you ever got caught you would be even more in trouble..and you need to tell him about your parents...If he likes you he'll stick around!!...Well Good luck...
PS:Right now I'm pregnant with a black mans baby..my father not impressed...there's a difference though I'm 22 and i can do whatever i want...so please be care with your decision...

Answer 6

First of all, 14 is too young to be going out seriously with any guy.
You really should focus on school at least unti you graduate. -That doesn't mean you cannot be friends with anyone of any race.

Also, when the time comes for you to really date for the purpose of finding a life long companian, you should do what your heart feels. You shoul dnot sacrifice your happiness just to please others.

I was in your shoes, about 13 years ago. I married my highschool sweet heart, who is half Black-American and White-German. My family was not racist, but they looked down on bi-racial relationships. We now have been married for 10 beautiful years, and find ourselves more inlove now than we ever have been. We now have kids.

Once my family realized I really love him and he really loves me, and how he provides for his family, they too now see past the color of his skin, and see him as the best thing that has ever happen to me. A Human Being. My Husband.

Good luck with your choices. God Speed.

Answer 7

If you lie to your parents they will find out and they won't trust you. Neither you nor this boy need to get into such deep water. What if your Dad caught you with him? How bad would it be, right at that moment? What kinds of stuff would he say? Would you hate your Dad for being who he is? This seems like a bad direction for you. Your parents are the only parents you'll ever have. Don't ruin your relationship with them over a boy.

Answer 8

You shouldn't do anything behind your parents back. As sad as it is, you shouldn't do something that will make them lose trust in you. Whatever underhanded thing you might try, they will find out.If all else fail. Tell them you want to go out with the white side of him. Good luck Glad to see their nasty behavior didn't rub off on you. People are people, no matter what their race is.

Answer 9

well you know sometimes things like this are gonna come around and you have to deal with them, and since your parents are really racist, that is SOOO unfair.... i think for once you should go behind your parents back, first of all that is truley unfair to judge anyone by their color of skin, second, if you really like him its fair, give it a shot and go with him. If they wont let you see him and won't even try to get to know him then they need a reality check, they are your parents they should be understand racism and they dont, thats not good parenting or respectful, what are they doing in the USA if they are racist.... go with him and go agaisnt everything they say.. all i can say is that is REALLY messed up....

Answer 10

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