The details: I'm almost 30. He's almost 30. I'm in a very happy relationship. I have been for 6 years and never any interest in straying. Until now. As far as I know, he's happy in his relationship, too. But he failed to mention his girlfriend for a month...
Despite my true happiness with my partner, I can't help but have feelings for this other man. I know it has something to do with us working together. To meet someone who shares the same passion is so sexy.
BUT I REALLY AM HAPPY WITH MY MATE!
For some reason (don't know why) it would make me feel better to know this other man is attracted to me. Perhaps then I'd feel less guilty, less school-girlish. But it's been a long time since I've thought about someone having a crush on me. So ...How can I tell?
And what to do?
2007-02-10 13:05:10 · 7 answers · asked by beanie_belle28 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hm, 6 years you say? Sounds like the 7 year itch!
I think maybe you are just missing the days of innocent crushes, the excitement of wondering if he likes you, will he call you, etc.
I think it is totally normal to get nostalgic for that, and also flattered by a man's attention (especially when the man is smart, or sexy, or otherwise un-skeevy).
How can you tell? Depends on what your work environment is. I am a teacher, so in a school, obviously you can't flirt (y'know, with kids around and all). I guess the way I would be able to tell is... hm, ok as a married woman, I wouldn't! :)
What to do? Enjoy the crush, but enjoy your boyfriend more. Don't feel guilty, because you haven't done anything wrong, and DON'T ACT ON IT or otherwise "call yourself out"...
2007-02-10 13:39:24 · answer #1 · answered by leos_mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All women have one thing in common. We all want to be desired.
We all want to be the cat's meow. In being that, we need the reassurance of the opposite sex whether we intend on having anything going beyond it or not. We'll call it harmless flirtation. And also, sometimes we can notice a good counter part, which doesn't necessarily mean the best counter part. (meaning, stay with your mate, its just a temporary feeling for the other guy)
Just because he hasn't mentioned his girlfriend doesn't always mean that he avoided the subject. Sometimes the subject just never came up. Or he likes to keep his personal life personal.
It also depends on what he actually did to give you the idea that he might have a crush on you. Any physical contact, like nonschlantally brushing against you, stuff like that can signify closeness or being comfortable around you. The eye contact is probably a dead give-away. In my opinion, people don't give lingering eye contact for the hell of it. So what are you going to do if he does have a crush on you? How are you going to act around him knowing such details? One thing will eventually lead to another and you will feel even more guilty that there is a confirmation of such a crush. To me, some details are better left unknown.
2007-02-10 13:25:27 · answer #2 · answered by Amanda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you are at the age of 20 something men just seem not to look as much as they did when we were young. and it seems like you are REALLY happy, so ask yourself, do you really feel like throwing away a 6 year HAPPY relationship for a relationship that you have NO CLUE where it will lead you? you should be happy to have someone that treats you great and makes you happy. but you will never know if that other person will work out for you. and if they didnt work out you be spending a LONG time looking for someone again, and it seems that the older we get the smaller the fish in the sea theory gets.
2007-02-10 13:14:02 · answer #3 · answered by jinxygrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a safe bet that if he failed to mention his gf for a month, he is attracted to u also.
The thing u have to remember, is guys are kind of attracted to everyone, LOL.
No disrespect, I'm sure u are very attractive, but men aren't as picky as us girls...
If ur really that happy and this is just a crush, the rules of attraction are don't do anything about the crush, don't share ur feelings, and it will fade.
2007-02-10 13:12:45 · answer #4 · answered by prtty_patricia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy...ask him outright. Wait a minute: You're happy in your relationship, but you want to screw it up by sleeping with a guy that you work with, so you can not only create drama in your private life, but your career as well...And you say you're almost 30? Man...what did you do for entertainment when you were 15??
Is there any way you can somehow get your parents and childhood friends involved as well, so you burn all your bridges at the same time? I don't know, maybe you can smoke crack and sell all your worldly possessions for a fix before you get to the 'sobbing and sorry' stage of this country song...
2007-02-10 13:15:49 · answer #5 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if you let him know you like him it will only invite the opportunity to cheat on your man and the same for him. so the question really is are you willing to sacrifice your "great" relationship for a crush?
2007-02-10 13:09:13 · answer #6 · answered by Btieti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there are no rules of attraction... you make your own rules
it's not like they make a special manual for that, and if they do ... wow that's retarded LOL
anyways if your happy, then there must be something you are doing right , follow those rules
2007-02-10 13:08:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋