I am in love with a Mormon but I'm a non-Mormon myself. We know that we both want to get married but there are

Question

some problems. One is that I always dreamt of my perfect wedding, a traditional wedding in a church with the bride's father walking her down the aisle, etc. but being that he is a Mormon, it might be best if I was to convert and get married in a temple. Problem is, I don’t want to convert nor do I want to get married in a temple because I want bridesmaids and family and friends being there but that cant happen. My boyfriend wants to give me the perfect wedding but I don’t want his family to think that I'm trying to get him away from being a Mormon. He goes to church every Sunday, so he is pretty serious about his religion. I did some research on a typical Mormon wedding and I don't like the sound of it. I want both my parents and his parents to be happy with what we do. If I want his parents to be happy then I should convert and get married in a temple. I want my parents to be happy too. What should I do? Should I get married in a temple and convert or have my dream wedding?

Answer 1

Just remember this...when you are first in love it is very easy to accept and even cherish the differences in each other. However, this will all change when the religion question is applied to the kids. That's when you not being 100% gung-ho into the religion will become a problem. If you decide to not participate you will be marginalized by your own children. And don't think that your boyfriend will accept anything less than raising the young ones as Mormons.

I think you should look more into the cultural issues rather than just what the missionaries tell you.

Answer 2

Don't convert just to make someone happy; you should only convert for yourself, if it's something you believe in.

I am Mormon (go to church every week, etc.) and my wife is agnostic. When I met and was dating my wife I realized she wasn't a Mormon and therefore knew I wasn't going to be getting married in the temple. This was a conscientious choice I made. Because we didn't get married in the temple we came to agreements on what we liked. We ended up getting married at a beautiful winery, but my bishop/pastor married us. Although my mother would have preferred (at the time) that I marry a Mormon in the temple, she was supportive of my decision. We have been married coming on 4 years and are very happy. However, there will always be extra hurdles because of the religion, especially when it comes to children. All I can say is that it is necessary that you both respect each other for who you are and that neither wants to change the other. If you respect each other, and openly communicate about all things, then it could work. If either of you isn't content with the other as they are now, then I wouldn't take it any further. Good luck.

Answer 3

So much could be said about your situation. First of all, you could have your dream wedding and be happy with your decision to marry this man. When it comes to converting to the mormon church, you should never do this just because of a handsome face. The Mormon church is the best thing in the world. It also carries very high moral, and lifestlye standards. It would be good to talk to the missionaries about the church. That way you get the truth about the religion from those who really know. There are plenty of ignorant idiots out there that will tell you falsehoods about the church when they themselves have no grounds for expertise on the subject. Just like you wouldn't want a Ford dealer's opinion of a Chevy.

I've known a good number of couples where one was mormon and the other was not. It can be done succesfully and on the other hand some marraiges end in disaster because of it.

You would not have to convert just because you marry him.

If you were to convert (because you truly believe in the religion), then one year from your baptism you could be sealed in the temple. It is not uncommon to also have what's referred to as a "ring ceremony" after the sealing, and prior to the reception. This is pretty similiar to a regular wedding but without the vows or declaration of marraige by the officiator. That way you can still walk down the isle and everything.

One main difference you should know is that a Temple Sealing is for Eternity. It never ends. However a civil wedding is only "until death do you part," or "as long as you both shall live." That's because a Temple Sealing is performed by someone holding the authority from God to seal a Man and Woman in marraige forever. Do you really want you marraige to end at death? OR would you want it to continue past this life?

Answer 4

Converting to a religion for someone you love is not a good idea. If you've heard their teachings and actually want to join the church, you go ahead. But one of the other answerers was right, these people do take their religion very seriously, and if you don't agree with the teachings you need to make it very clear from the start.

I was raised a Mormon, my parents were Mormon sunday-schoolers when they met. My dad left the church just after they got married, and the church never stopped trying to get him to come back. I left the church at 14, and it's only recently, after 17 years and quite a few letters asking them to remove my name from their records, that they've let me be. Yes, they are serious, but your wishes are just as important. Put it to your fiance, tell him how you feel. There's no reason why you shouldn't have the wedding you want, there has to be some compromise that will let you both be happy with your big day. And to be honest, if your man won't bend on this issue, if it has to be his way, the Mormon way, then you know your whole life will be his way, the Mormon way, and your kids will be raised his way (and there'll be a dozen of them, because Mormon's believe in populating the church with breeding like rabbits).
Don't just agree and go along with what everyone else wants. What you want matters, too.

Answer 5

The wedding is the LEAST of your problems!!! The Mormon religion is very very very strict and traditional. I know, I married a Mormon and joined the church, I wasn't sealed in the temple though. First of all, you would have to get baptized and wait a year before you could even get sealed in the temple. Second you would have to give up Alcohol, smoking, porn, coffee, tea, and spending any money on Sunday (that's just the beginning). You would be going to church for 3 hours on Sunday and usually doing church activities 2 to 3 times a week. You would also hold a "calling" where you would devote more time to church activities, organizing things etc.
My point here is that being a Mormon isn't like other religions, these people take it very seriously and live it every day. You really need to spend a lot of time investigating the church before you take this relationship further.
He won't be giving up his religion and I am certain that being sealed in the temple will be very very important to him and his family.
I was married civilly to my husband and if we choose to get sealed we can...but that involves interviews and very good behavior ;)
I am so glad that you found someone you want to marry, and I have no doubts that he is an amazing person, I just want you to know that the wedding is the least of your concerns right now. You need to be sure that you want to live and raise your children LDS otherwise your marriage will suffer greatly.
Don't just convert to get married in the temple, convert because you believe in the gospel and the church.

Answer 6

If you love him and he you, there will be ways to wprk things out. I am LDS (Mormon) and I would not want my wife to convert just to marry me. You can be supportive and give it an honest try. With any religon, you can put as much effort into it as you want to, you can follow the "faith" as closely as you want to. People get some idea that all mormons are exactly the same and that we are all just as ultra-conservitive as the next one. That is not at all true. The "mormon church" is just that, a church. All churches teach that you should be a good, moral, ethical person. It is true that the LDS church makes some strong claims, but it is up to you or anyone else to find out for themselves. If you were to decide to become a mormon, it would be a year before you could go to the temple and get married there. This is to give you time to learn and take things a step at a time, you did not lears calculus before you could add. so, if you love the guy, marry him soon. You will be happy that you did. Then you can take you time and study the religon and see for your self. If he loves you, he will not push you into it, but he should let you go at your own pace. If you go to the Temple for your wedding, then you can have a "ring ceremony" too. This way all of your family can see you exchange rings with all of the glamor. I have been married for almost a year now (I got married in the temple) I don't care now if any of my family was there or not. That was such a wonderful day to join my life with hers. I hope that when you get married that you will be able to think just about you and your husband and enjoy joining your lives together and starting your family as the two of you see fit.

Answer 7

Just because you convert and become a Mormon doesn't mean you can get married in the Temple. It takes a while to become what I believe is called "Temple Endowed". If you decide you want to convert, that's fine, investigate the church, take the lessons and convert. However, there are plenty of non-Mormons married to Mormons and are perfectly happy that way!

My advise is to get married in a normal ceremony with friends and family, your father walking you down the aisle.

If you ever do decide to convert - once you become temple endowed you can have your Mormon wedding in the temple. Since it seems he is serious about his religion and I'm sure his parents are too, this would please him and his parents immensely. It's quite common for Mormon's to marry in a non-Mormon wedding prior to being sealed in a temple wedding.

It may sound like I'm trying to convince you to convert, and trust me, I am not! I'm just giving you information. Best wishes to you, and good luck!

Answer 8

I have a sister who's family is Mormmon. I can't go to any weddings. I can only go to the reception-in another state-where the temple is. Personally, I would strongly request that you Not convert to Mormonism. Instead, please have the "dream wedding" of your liking-with your family and friends. You stated you have no desire to convert-stay with your not wanting to. Besides, a girl does want her dad to walk her down the isle, and have the family and friends there, participating in the wedding-not just the reception. You also stated that you did some research on the typical Mormon wedding-and don't like the sounds of it. Your gut feeling is telling you something very important--"NO!" Please listen to your gut feeling. I wish you the best. Take care.

Answer 9

Dont do it. To be married to your boyfriend would mean that you would have to become a Mormon and follow their strict and cultish beliefs. If you marry a mormon, you marry the church. The church will be in your personal affairs for the rest of your life.

Honestly though, you need to get over the idea of your "dream wedding". The wedding lasts only a few hours, however you are stuck with your husband till death do you part.

Answer 10

Oh Honey, Don't convert to any religion for a guy. If you don't want to convert to the LDS church, don't. I hope this guy and his family aren't putting any pressure on you to join. All I want to tell you right now is "Run for your life!!". I know that you most likely love this guy a lot since you are talking marriage. Just be honest with him. Let him that you don't want to join the church and so on. A lot of couples have successful marriages despite the fact each partner has their own church/religion. You can make this marriage work,without converting. You should also know that there may always be the slight pressure for you to join from others in his Ward. Be strong Sister, and stand your ground. If he really loves you he will understand. If not it's best you know now. Take Care.