Okay, I have known this guy for 2 years now, and we have been real good friends. He asked me to be his gf on Friday and I said yes. Now the night before my mom got to see what he looks like at a school function. So she has no clue who he is or what he's like. She says I can't go on a date until she gets to know him. Now I can understand what she's saying to me. I just think she doesn't trust me. I think she thinks I'm gonna do drugs if he offered, or have sex with him. And I'm not a person that does that. I mean come on I'm only 13 years old and in the 8th grade. She could at least let us walk around in the mall together or go see a movie. Right? Please give me your opinion about this situation!!!
2007-02-10 10:45:37 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, first off, you are only 13 years old, and in 8th grade. My mother wouldn't allow me to date until I was 16, and even then she was still very adamant about me calling her, updating her, etc.
But your mom does, however, seem to be a bit more lenient with you dating young -- she just wants to get to understand the same guy that's going to be taking her 13 year old daughter out and about. Instead of feeling betrayed by your mother's lack of trust for you, which I'm sure isn't the case at all on her behalf -- let her get to know him. Invite him over for dinner one night; Who knows, he might make a good enough impression for your parents, that your mom's going to insist on having him for dinner each Friday. =)
Your mom sounds like she loves you a great deal and wants you to be happy and safe. Compromise with her, and she'll slowly open up to him, and allow you more freedom as time passes.
2007-02-10 10:54:06 · answer #1 · answered by Kittiness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not say how old your boy friend is now. But if he is older than you or 2 to 3 years ahead of you in school then it maybe that she is worried about him.
I suggest you talk to your Mom and ask her if he could come over for some supper some night. That way she would get to meet him and maybe let you go with him after eating to a movie or some thing else.
Good luck!
2007-02-10 10:54:42 · answer #2 · answered by Aliz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that she doesn't trust you, she doesn't trust HIM!!! And why should she? She doesn't know him. You are the most important thing in her life and she isn't about to trust you with some guy she doesn't even know!!
Talk to your mom about inviting him over for dinner so she can get to know him and see the things about him that you think are so great. Once she sees that he's a good guy, then maybe you and your mom can discuss you and your guy hanging out at the mall or the movies.
2007-02-10 10:56:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Supervised or public dating at your age is acceptable. If your mother is suspicious it's because she wants the best for you so don't be angry with her. That would be totally selfish. First ask if he can come over and watch a movie or two with you at your house so she can see what kind of person he is. Next, nothing like the mall... see if your mother needs to do some shopping and invite him too... or just "accidently" run into him but anyway, what I'm trying to get at is your mother needs to be able to trust this boy with her life which is you. Bring him around and let me tell you what... if he is disrespectful to your mother then get rid of him because that means he doesn't respect YOU!
2007-02-10 10:53:06 · answer #4 · answered by Jamie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in her place. Seriously. You are naive to think that nothing can happen at your age. You are her child, and that is a very precious thing. Of course she is going to want to see and get to know this "stranger" first before allowing you to be with him. If he is smart, he will respect that and be okay with her rules. He will shake her hand when he meets her and be very polite. If he has a problem with it, then I suggest you look elsewhere for a boyfriend.
You are too young to date, but a group activity or going to the movies accompanied by chaperones might be okay, after she gets to know him. Look on the bright side, she didn't say a definite "No Way" after seeing him.
2007-02-10 10:56:46 · answer #5 · answered by TPhi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my mom ahs known my boyfriend for 5 years (we've been good friends, and then bf-gf for one year) (we'res till together), and we can't date until we're 18, regardless, and i'm almost 15!!!!!!
No, she trusts you better than that, girl. She just doesn't want you to "fall in love" yet. She wants you to save such a strong emotion for when you are older, and can get married. Also, yes, your mom needs to get to know him better, there's nothing you can do about it. 13, surprisingly, is not very old (i learned the hard wat -.-). You're her 'little teenager'.
If she won't let you date him, suggest maybe you and your families going bowling or somethign. I can't date, but my bf and I can hang around together with a parent around.
If you can't date him.... think of me, sistah *wink*
2007-02-10 10:52:29 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Cute T ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit your mom down and tell her your own personal values, this will make her feel better and give you a little room to be trusted more. You mom is just concerned about you, give her a reason to trust you and she will let up a bit., Take care Heather
2007-02-10 10:50:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your mom doesn't even know him yet! I'm sure when she knows him a little better she will let you guys see a movie or something. If she doesn't that is a bit protective. But don't worry my mom wouldn't even let me have a boyfriend at 13! I had one secretly, but still....that's not my advice I'm just saying let her get to know him!
2007-02-10 10:50:22 · answer #8 · answered by Sheila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
regrettably, you won't be able to get them to end arguing, yet you are able to propose that they have got some area from one yet another for a lengthy time period till eventually they both cool down slightly and may communicate issues out nicely. i imagine you also prefer to flat out tell your boyfriend that you imagine that's stupid that the actual shown actuality that your moms are arguing has something to do inclusive of your relationship. they quite should not be a subject for communicate between you 2 in the present day except that's something constructive. in the experience that your mom received't allow you date him, i do not comprehend what to allow you to comprehend, yet you should communicate about to her as well as your boyfriend that your mom isn't you, and his mom isn't him, and they were nice with the relationship earlier, so why not now? good success!
2016-11-26 23:17:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So i wasnt aloud to date until i was 16 and im still not going out on dates because i havent found that guy but i did before i was 16 and i wasnt aloud to date him. it hits you later that it matters what your mom says because as much as you think that she is invading your life she is really looking out for you. im still against my mom meeting my dates but your right she needs to have a little trust on your side.
1) introduce them: invite him over to the house for dinner or a movie. just try to make sure you mom can investigate that way she feels like she has some control.
2) if your family wants to go out to a dinner one night invite him. the more he is with your family the more you mom feels better about him. and you still get time with him
3) go to a friends house and then go to the movies with her and his guys friends. i use to and it was better explaining i was going to the movies with just my girl firend then with a guy.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-02-10 10:53:36 · answer #10 · answered by Niko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋