My girlfriend dumped me because I'm not a Christian?

Question

I've been dating this amazing girl for the past month, and last night she dumped me because I'm an athiest. Its killing me, because I really do love her and she told me that she feels the same way, but thinks that in the long run our religious differences would really hurt us. I told her not to blame God, for dumping me but she says that she really wants to keep dating me, but thinks that its wrong. I want her back, but she is really religious, her father's a pastor, and I don't want to convert just so that she'll date me, that'd be empty and meaningless and she'd see right through it. How strict are the rules for Christians dating non-christians? What can I do?

Just to update, I've known her for about a year now and we've been good friends, but we've only dated for the last month. I knew about her religion before we started dating, but I didn't think it would be a problem for her.

Answer 1

my man its quite strict, depends what type of christian she is, im a muslim and was dating a christian ..... a strong one and it hurt when we seperated, my first love she was as well, and i feel ure pain.

firstly no sex before marrage which is also in my religon and other rules which come to play as well,

i dont think u should convert if u dont believe in that religon thats totally wrong as u said, love is a painful thing, im afraid really painful,

u really want to be with some1 more than any1 but yet there is something in the way.

i think the best thing to do is keep going out with her and show her and her fammily what kind of person u are, because within a person can some1 judge some1, u may never know u might get accepted by her parents, which is also a big thing in christianity.

so keep going out, have fun be ureselfs, take it easy, and over time you might meet her Parents and they may see you as she sees you, but its gonna be thouph considering her father,

just take it one step at a time, weather u get accepted or not by her parents it wont be ure fault,

ure keeping to ure belief and theres nothing you can do about it, always be ureself and being christian is not ureself.

good luck, member even if it doesnt work out, u got ureself and ure belief, and ure morals AND THATS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING A PERSON CAN CARRY WITH THEM!!

if u havent got ure morals you got nothing.

good luck , i feel for u, take it easy

Answer 2

Most Christians are encouraged to date other Christians, in case the relationship gets serious and the couple is talking marriage. (A devout Christian family will not accept an atheist into their family.) Even though she's a great girl, it's probably best that she broke it off with you before her feelings became too strong for her to follow her faith. Another thing, since her father is a pastor, he probably would have forbade you two being together or encouraged her to break up with you anyway. It's good you didn't convert, because like you said, it would be for the wrong reasons. I think you should move on and try to find someone who has the same beliefs as yourself.

Answer 3

If you really like this girl I would read the Bible or something and go to church and see how you like it. If you think that Christianity seems like an option to you then convert and ask her out again. Otherwise she is right. Your religious differences would hurt the relationship. I mean, if you think about it, becuase of her faith your "ex" thinks that you are going to go to hell when you die. Not exaclty the warm-fuzzies a good relationship would have.

The rules for christians dating non-christians are not strict at all. I know Christian girls who are/were dating an islaamic boy, a jewish boy, and an aethiest boy.
The girls who are dating the islaamic and jewish are still datin ghtem because they at least have the same God, if not the same "fine print". The girl that I know that was dating the aethiest boy broke up with him becausse he told her how stupid she was for believing in God and that she should be an aethiest.


Just do what feels right and try to keep an open mind.
Good luck.

Answer 4

From my experience, I have realized that some people just don't work with other people. No matter how hard you try, some people just can't accept that other people are not gonna have the same religious beliefs as them. Also, to answer wat you said about how she thinks your religious differences will hurt you in the long run, I serious doubt that. That sounds like a cover up for something more important that she doesn't want to get into with you. It sounds like she has some problems with the whole God thing or something, and she doesn't want to bring those problems to the table. And what can you do about this you ask, well, I would take some time and ask yourself, wat exactly you love about her, and ask her to do the same, and when you both figure out what you love about each other, figure out if your love is strong enough to overcome your petty differences, and move on, and have a strong relationship based on love and understanding, instead of having the same religious preference.

Answer 5

I know that this question is super old (like 9 years ago it says), but people may still be coming across it today like I am. There are no technical rules that Christians cannot date other Christians, however, many Christians find it in their heart that life is even more than finding a good partner/relationship, but rather that life is about honoring/praising/glorifying God. In this case, there is a bliblical and spiritual rule from 2 Corinthians 6:14 that says Christians should not marry non-Christians. "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.". So, if Christians should not marry non-Christians, then dating one would be a purposeless, potentially heart wrenching endeavor that doesn t exactly put God at the forefront in one s life, particularly regarding a relationship that may one day become one of the most important relationships in your life (husband and wife).
What should you do?? Like some people have suggested above, the only thing is to earnestly reflect on your spiritual beliefs, and learn about Christianity. If you can accept the lifestyle, beliefs, and the existence of God and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, then you can go from there. Work on your spiritual life, and on whatever relationship you have with God, and if you come to truly believe in Him and even come to put Him before her in priority, then thats definite go!!

Answer 6

ok , in the first place i think you should have a straight -to -the -point conversation with her about the real reason of dumping you because i highly doubt it was because u are no christian , if so then what why did she decided to date you anyways? in my opnion if u are saying her dad is a pastor , it was more of his idea then , being the case of her being a minor still. and yeah sorry to say this but for christians god is more important than this kinda thing , so i advise u , to find out someones religious status before dating them...i hope u feel better

Answer 7

Actually, I'm pretty sure there's nothing wrong with dating a non-christian if you're a christian. Maybe it's some branch of Christianity I'm not familiar with. Anyway, if she really loves you she wouldn't care. (I know because I've heard of a married couple in which the woman was Buddhist and the man was Christian)

Answer 8

The fact is that she has strong beliefs and she knows down the line it will be a conflict. For instance, lets just say that, for the sake of argument, you were to get married and have children. She insists that they are raised within the tenets of the church, and are taught as Christians. Would you have a problem with that? She may ask that her children be taught the concept of Creationism, and be shielded from things like secular music, the theory of evolution, etc. You on the other hand, can't wait to get them listening to Rob Zombie while playing with their dinosaur toys. See? She is foresightful, looking long term, as well as short term. By the way, I appreciate that you capitalized God, and did not refer to Him as "her god." Thanks for that.

Answer 9

In the Christian faith we are taught to have relationships with other Christians to make us have stronger relationships then that of being with someone who is not Christian. Dude it aint gona work out for you two, im sorry but its the truth. You should go and find someone who believes the same way you do or come to get to know God and his teachings. But you and this girl need to find people who believe the same when it comes to religion. It easier to say then to do... i know... but the only thing i can say is i hope you get to know God!

Answer 10

This relationship probably is doomed because the two of you have too big of an obstacle to overcome. I'm not trying to be mean! I just think that the differences in belief of you and her will be a constant strain. You can't be what you aren't. That's just faking it to be with her. You can't keep that up for ever! She also has strong feelings about her faith.
Time to move on!