Whenever I ask how people are they never ask how I am back. Is that rude? Or do people just not care?

Answer 1

They just dont care. People can be very self centered.*

Answer 2

There are basically two situations when you can ask how people are going. There are many situations when people will answer, or return the question.

Usually (at least in Western societies), when you meet someone for the first time in the day, you begin the conversation with an opening. This opening can concern weather, if the journey to the meeting point was fine, about news events, etc. It is common to open the conversation with someone by asking "how are you doing?". The common answer is "Fine. What about you?".

Actually, it would be rude to answer, you're not going well and tell about it. People assume that you don't care, and that it's just a way to open the conversation. Similarly, I don't find rude not to ask the question in return (just saying "Fine" and beginning the real conversation).

The second situation is when you can also ask how people are going during a conversation, with one of your relatives. In that case, it means you really care, but you might get many different answers:
a) "fine" and they tell about their recent life. They will probably return the question at the end. Not doing could be considered being rude. But this might begin a brand new conversation and they finally forget to return the question.
b) "fine", and just returning the question. This mean they have nothing new to tell you about, but want to know about you.
c) just "fine". I find this very rude and/or they really don't care about you. But this is my personal opinion.
d) "bad" and tell you about their recent news. If this is really bad, they might even forget to return you the question. Don't blame them.

This is my opinion only, which depends on my cultural background. The answer is probably very different in other cultures.

Also, it depends deeply on how close the relatives are (professional contact, family, friends, etc.)

Do you ask people how they are as a "communication introduction" or as a "real question"? If it is during the conversation, ask yourself if it was not rude to ask: are you close to them?

If you think the other person really should have asked, why don't you briefly talk about yourself and see how they react? If he or she doesn't ask question, I would say, unfortunately for you, that he or she does not care.

Answer 3

often "how are you ?" is asked while passing, and as other answerers say is also used the starter for a conversation or as a greeting.

If you are on the way some where to do something and don't want to be caught in a conversation you may throw back a quick I'm good as you continue on your way.

or you may be so involved in your own thoughts that it takes a minute or two to realise what has been said by that time the person who asked is gone

Answer 4

Well, I am from the south and we always ask back. It is just the way it is. I have found people from the North NEVER ask back. I think it's b/c they are all #$$%^ holes and they don't give a you know what how anyone else is.

Answer 5

A lot of people consider it the same as a regular greeting if you say "how are you," as if it's just like saying "hello," and they don't really expect a response to it. I wouldn't say it's rude. I make a point of asking people back if they ask me, however.

Answer 6

Well it is rude, but sometimes people don't answer back if they know what your answer is going to be and if they know they may not like your answer. So think about past conversations, were they about you mostly and what you were doing, that sort of thing.

Answer 7

"How are you"?, is polite rhetoric. It is used as a means to begin a conversation, but isn't really meant to imply literal concern. In the same way, the answer, "I'm fine", or "I'm doing well", is rhetoric, and is meant to be an impersonal answer to an equally impersonal question. What if someone took the question as a literal invitation to air all of their problems? Are you really concerned with how someone is, or was the question a form?

Answer 8

I always forget to return questions when people ask about me. People just love talking about themselves, and when you're not thinking about being polite, sometimes it's easy to forget. I doubt most people do it on purpose.

Answer 9

Do you just pop out of nowhere and ask a stranger, "How ya doing?" Some people may be startled or feel a bit weird, and not reply.

A few times people have aske me "how I am", and I and taken back, trying to figure "who are they"...I remember the face.... er uh... um.. "Good, how are you?"

Answer 10

Rude, I always try to ask someone back after they've asked me.