My sister is getting married and asked me to be her Matron of Honour. I gladly said yes, but when I arrived at my parents house (where she is staying) she has been acting like she was "forced" to ask me to be her MOH or even to be in her wedding. She will never discuss anything about her wedding with me, informed me the other night that her friend (one of the other bridesmaids) is throwing her a bridal shower and a bachlorette party, many other things.
So today she and I got into an argument, every time that we get into an argument she tends to bring up her wedding and how her friend (the other bridesmaid) is more of her maid of honour than I am, and I told her that I am not going to be in her wedding. Am I wrong for doing that? When I told her she seemed happy about that. Right now I am not even speaking to her. I have held my tongue since I got here in November about her not letting me know anything about the wedding until now.
2007-02-10 09:33:12 · 13 answers · asked by j_kuemmel02 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm sorry - it seems to me that she is either doing this b/c she was talked into it or she felt she had to do it (guilt). She asked you to be the MOH but in reality its like she wants this other girl to do it.
Try not to go to her level - let her know that you will be in the wedding but if she would rather the other girl be the MOH then that's fine with you. Life is short, even tho she is acting like a spoiled brat, she's still your sister. Try to make amends.
2007-02-10 09:38:36 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Weddings are very emotional and political dramas - have you ever seen the show Bridezilla? You're seeing it with your own eyes, so don't let this happen to you when your day comes!
There's a lot of life&death planning for the least detail - like what color napkins, organ player at church, cake knife, favors, name cards, etc, etc, etc. And the people doing the deciding usually have the attitude that if something as little as the name cards is not exactly right, then what is supposed to be the happiest day will surely be one of the crappiest day.
Your sister seems to have let herself get caught up in the this. I'm sure she's feels pressure from your mother all over the wedding map, and for some reason just picked you as the battlefield. Not very noce of her.
She will be sorry and may not be able to apologize enough to you for what she did.
She's also not going to really enjoy her own wedding. I've seen it 1,000 times, by the time the wedding pictures come back, she'll say something like "it happened so fast, it was a blur, I didn't have a chance to enjoy it.". It wasn't a blur though, she didn't enjoy it because she was focusing on the wrong things and the good things walked right by her.
At this point, leave her to her own fate. Show up with a big smile and wish everyone well - they are going to need it!
2007-02-10 17:51:53 · answer #2 · answered by Stan W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The moh and the bride should share everything about the wedding and if your sister isn't doing that maybe you should back out of being in the wedding because she don't need the drama and you don't either. You should go to the wedding though just so you won't look bad for being a no show and maybe you should talk to her before you back out of being in the wedding and tell her how you feel about her comments and maybe she will change.
2007-02-10 17:41:50 · answer #3 · answered by sweet p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very hard situation. I agree that your Sister has been very hurtful to you and is handling this all wrong. Since your Sister doesn't seem to care if you are in the wedding or not, I don't blame you for bowing out. It sounds like her friend has everything worked out for her. She is still your Sister. So even if she may be acting like "Bridezilla" because she is stressed out, you still need to talk before the wedding & try to find out what's really going on with her. If you don't resolve this now, it may cause long term damage to your relationship. Be the bigger person and ask to talk to her about it. I know you will be able to work things out if just the 2 of you sit alone & talk. Then, at least you've done everything possible to resolve things & it will be on her. Good luck to you both.
2007-02-10 17:50:53 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like mom and dad insissted you be moh.
either way you can't win.
you don't go to the wedding parents will scream you ruined everything.
you are in it they will be happy and sis will resent it.
Be in the wedding so you can show you are a good sport and trying to do as you were asked.
sis is big enough to get married she is big enough to tell mom/dad no to start with.
everyone expects you to be moh. If you back out now it will look like sis had to replace you for something you did.
Be moh smile and move on.
2007-02-10 17:56:45 · answer #5 · answered by andreamarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is her wedding, her day. She should not be forced to do anything. If she wants someone else to stand up for her, perhaps you could have been a brides maid. Many girls are closer in youth to their friends than their sisters. However, as you grow older, your sister will always be there when others are gone.
2007-02-10 17:40:42 · answer #6 · answered by EROS7776 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh wow...it def. sounds like your sister is the jerk. That's messed up. But if you want to be the bigger person, you have to remember that it is your SISTER's wedding and not yours. And sometimes when ppl are gradutating, getting married, or having a baby you have to put their needs and wants before yours. Fix things with her so she can focus on her wedding. Then after the wedding and honeymoon and everything, have a serious talk with her about what's going on.
2007-02-10 17:47:01 · answer #7 · answered by laangel464 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to the wedding. Or one day you will regret it. Understand she is stress out rightnow just be there for her. And i If she doesn't say anything about her wedding just ask her about iits easy! Is her beautiful moment in life be there for her and don't let your feeling hurts because she doesn't talk to ya... Ask her question be interested about it and maybe she will open up herself with you
2007-02-10 18:16:33 · answer #8 · answered by sweety 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be in the wedding. Go to the wedding. She is still your sister. You both need to apologize and move on.
2007-02-10 17:36:05 · answer #9 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it doesn't sound to me like ou are a bad sister. however, i think that the both of you need to apologize and mend the broken fences between you. hope this helps. good luck.
2007-02-10 19:19:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋