problem with 3 year old?

Question

he bites when he's mad, if him and his 6 year old brother are fighting he'll bite his brother. no matter how many times i tell him no! and put him on the "time out bench" he continues to do this. it's not like he's teething, and he knows what he's doing is wrong, what can i do? my pediatrician said it was just a phase but i believe he's wrong

Kris- to answer your question, the bench is in the hall / the entryway of our house connecting the kitchen and family room. The stairway/wall is what he's facing.

Answer 1

I think u should try taking him to a doctor and asess him r it could just b a phase its a very confusing 1
Try tell the older brother notto fight with him aswell

Answer 2

Depends on the 3-year old....But, I have to say, I'm with your pediatrician.
Most 3 year olds really do know it's wrong and have outgrown this. Most, but not all.
The reason children bite is because it's their way of showing strong feelings before they develop good verbal skills. This is why so much more biting occurs among younger (pre-verbal) children rather than 3 or 4 year olds.

He may not have enough verbal skills yet, even though he's 3.(especially in trying to make his strong feelings known to a 6 year old brother).
I'm glad you're using a time-out bench rather than any stronger form of discipline. He's just a little boy. And in fact, I would only make it 3-5 minutes. A great suggestion from another poster was about focusing on the "bitee." YES...give THAT child the attention, the little present, your attention. Make sure your 3 yr old knows that he is not getting the attention, but he is causing mommy to pay attention to brother, or friend, etc. (Because biting does cause very specific immediate attention from both the bitee and mom, he needs to learn very quickly that this form of attention-getting is not a good one.)
Good luck...One more thing might be to talk about biting when he is not doing it. For instance, give the biter a special gift at bedtime (new toothbrush for example) and give it as a reward: "Timmy, I am so proud of you for not doing any biting today. You are really getting to be a big boy who follows what Mommy teaches you! Wow. I just had to get you this new bath toy" (but I wouldn't make it a shark!)

PLEASE....whatever you do, do not bite your child. You do have good verbal skills, I assume, as well as self-control.

Answer 3

Actually your doctor is probably right...a lot of children go through a biting phase. My sister had a playmate who bit. That child's other would bite her so hard she would draw blood but that didn't stop her from biting my sister, Finally one day when they were outside playing the little girl bit my sister on the shoulder, my sister swung around and smacked the little girl so hard she hit the ground. That was the last time that little girl bit anyone. I don't advocate parents bitig their children...that is simply child abuse and extremely POOR parenting skills. If I ever heard or knew of a parent who did that I'd be on the phone to CPS in a heartbeat.

Answer 4

Okay, WHERE is that 'time out bench' and what can your three year old 'see' while he's on it? Really, the 'best thing' you can do is to put your three year old in 'time out' but make him stand with his 'nose in a corner' ... a BLANK corner so he can't see anything, and it an 'quiet corner' where he can't hear nearly as much as usual. Put him in the corner for two minutes the first time, and add one minute each time he 'bites' again ... and if he starts to 'cry' or tries to 'leave' before you say he can, put him back in the corner (pick him up and place him there) and tell him that you're starting his 'time' over ... because you are right, and 'biting' is 'bad behavior' and needs to be 'nipped' in the bud, and the only way to do this is to make his 'punishment time' so BORING and UNCOMFORTABLE and be so 'regular and consistenty get harder with it' until he 'gives up' and stops biting.

Answer 5

I know those of the Thought Police or Do gooder mentality will disagree but this'll more than likely work. Next time he bites, bite him back or if he bites his brother, get him to bite him back. Oh yes, the old two wrongs don't make a right thingy comes to mind as a reason for not doing it but "we" had one that did similar and "we" got his sister to bite him, and guess what, he NEVER bit again.

Answer 6

I went through the same thing when Iw as working at a daycare center. Had a 3 year old girl who would always bite. Her mom bit her once (not hard enough to leave marks but hard enough that she knew how it felt to get bitten) after that she did not bite again.

Answer 7

I was a day care provider many many years ago and had a 3 year old biter, the Mom felt that biting him back was the only option. So finally one day I did. I bit right thru his skin and left teeth marks. DO NOT DO IT. Use something nasty tasting in his mouth as some others have suggested.

Answer 8

It's definitly a phase but he needs to know that it is extremly uneceptable you need to be really firm with this issue. If timeouts are not working maybe you are not making him sit long enough or maybe you can take privlages away from him. Give his brother a new fun activity to do such as play with playdoh and exclude your little guy he will eventually get the hint also make sure when he is biting you are explaining to him that what he is doing is very bad and it hurts and you are very upset with him.

Answer 9

I am not into spanking or hurting children in any way but my 2nd son (has autism) would not stop biting, I finally bit him back. He stopped biting immediately. Every once in a while he'll go to bite and then stop himself. Don't do it hard, just enough to show how undesireable it is. I bet it would work.

Answer 10

I believe in appropriate consequences; when my kids do something oral like use bad language or bite, they get either their mouth washed out with soap, or a squirt of pure lemon juice that I keep in the fridge for this purpose. It works.