I am getting married this year and am having trouble choosing who to walk me down the aisle. My stepfather has been in my life for 12 years and has been my caregiver basically. My real dad was around, but never contributed his time, money etc. I feel like I should ask my stepdad, but dont want o hurt my real dad. What should I do? If I choose my step dad, how do I tell my real dad?
2007-02-10 08:39:17 · 13 answers · asked by Alisha T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am kind of going through the same thing. My real dad hasn't been around for the las 12 years though. I am going to ask my stepdad...he was the one who shared all of the memories of me growing up and he was there. I'm not sure how to explain to my real dad without it hurting but he really should understand. it was his choince not to be there.
Try to explain to your dad that he hasn't been there for you like you would have liked him to be. If you wan tto avoid it alltogether...you could have them both walk you down the aisle...i have never seen it done but it would be something different. Whichever one you don't chose should really understand. It's your big day and it's ultimately up to you.
good luck!
2007-02-10 08:49:30 · answer #1 · answered by pamcake 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar situation, but I did not have a step dad in the picture. I had my mother walk me down the aisle. My dad did ask me one time about doing it, and I just told him that I wanted my mother to do it. He wasn't upset, at least he didn't show it, and he never said anything else about it. Your situation is a bit different though with the stepdad involved. Are you close with your mother? Maybe you could have her do it. Also, it's not terribly uncommon nowdays for a bride to simply walk herself down the aisle. I actually thought about doing that. If you truly feel that you should ask your stepdad, just be honest with your real dad. If he has any awareness that he has not been a true "dad" all these years, then he should understand. He may be hurt for a while, but it is YOUR day and you need to feel comfortable with who is giving you away! Good luck! : )
2007-02-10 16:55:01 · answer #2 · answered by Melody 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister also had that same issue. She chose to have both of her dads walk her down the aisle. It was very sweet and an awesome way to show how both men are a big part of her life. She didn't have to choose between them by doing that and that way she wasn't hurting anyone. Good luck!
2007-02-10 16:49:55 · answer #3 · answered by UhOH! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not getting married any time soon (I don't even have a boyfriend, for that matter), but because I'm not close to my dad and am not comfortable with him doing it, I already asked my brother to do it when the time eventually comes. That way when I eventually get engaged I can honestly tell my dad (and my stepdad, if he asks) that my brother has dibs and that I asked him a long time ago, that way there's the least risk of anybody's feelings getting hurt... I would suggest asking a brother or your mom, that way neither dad feels too bad.
2007-02-12 05:22:21 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard place to be. Do they get along well enough to have both walk you down the aisle? You could tell them both that you love them both, that they're both very special to you and that you can't choose one or the other. Tell them that it would mean so much to you to have them both give you union their blessing by giving you away.
If that's not an option, you could explain to your real dad that it's important that he be at your wedding, but that you asked your step-dad to give you away for your mother's sake.
I guess that's not the best answer, but like I said, it's not an easy question.
2007-02-10 22:18:46 · answer #5 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask them both.
Have your real dad walk you the first half of the aisle, to represent him bringing you into the world.
Halfway down the aisle, have your stepdad take over, representing his contributions to your life up to this point.
I think it would be lovely for you to acknowledge them both.
2007-02-10 16:47:47 · answer #6 · answered by jozjozjoz 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should ask you real dad to walk you halfway and then ask your stepdad to walk you the rest of the way. It would be significant since your real dad brought you into the world and your stepdad played a huge part in raising you.
2007-02-11 00:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by Moni B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having someone give you away or walk you down the aisle is a crappy tradition that should no longer be allowed as women do not need a man or anyone else to walk them anywhere or give them away like an old plate. Here it is..you take care of it now...psshhh. Women can take care of themselves. Walk yourself down the aisle. That way you don't have to choose either of them. Have your bridesmaids walk alone too, so when you come alone it doesn't look like you were trying to not pick someone. I hate the thought of someone giving someone else away.
2007-02-10 17:02:32 · answer #8 · answered by jmk_jenmarie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have your birth father start you off down the aisle, since without him, you wouldn't be here. He gave you your start.
Then mid way have your step father escort you the rest of the way. Without him, you wouldn't be the wonderful person you appear to be. He has earned the right to present you to your fiance.
If you don't like this, then you could walk the first half of the aisle alone & then have your fiance meet you at the half way point & escort you the rest of the way. Or you could go the distance alone.
Personally, I like the 2-dad solution, myself.
2007-02-10 17:32:07 · answer #9 · answered by weddrev 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have one on each side of you as you walk down the aisle. What an honor that would be to both of them.
2007-02-10 16:47:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋