Sigh...here is the problem. Just found out my 8 year daughter been viewing porn..very hard core. and I just found out that her 10 year male cousin been having"sex" under the blankets in her bedroom..tjhis been on gonig for the last few days. she is to shy to tell us where he been toching her, but he has been. Want to call the authorities but to scared CPS will take her away and get us in trouble for this. what should I do?
2007-02-10 08:34:01 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Other - Health
You do have problems.
Get rid of the porn, however and whatever it takes.
Second, I do not know how anyone could take your daughter out of the home. You would be doing everything in your power by reporting this and trying to put an end to it. Just stay calm and think logically before doing anything (unless it is getting rid of the cousin) A doctor and/or and attorney for some advice????
Keep a very close watch until a decision is reached.
Best of luck
2007-02-10 09:12:58 · answer #1 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did the 10 year old cousin introduce her to the porn sites? I would think so, Have you spoken to the parents of the cousin? That will be a very hard conversation but it needs to take place. Calmly explain that you would like to figure out a solution.
They may be defensive, so be tactful yet firm. I would talk to them and suggest therapy for both children.
Find a good therapist who will be able to gage the extent of the problem. The therapist will be able to find out what you may not be able to. Your daughter is probably afraid she'll be in even more serious trouble if she tells you more details of what happened. She's probably feeling a great deal of shame. Reassure her that you want to help her not punish her. If you rant about it, she'll clam up even more.
In the meantime, it goes without saying that the two of them should not be together. Also, be sure to put the parental controls in place on your computer if you haven't already done so. I'm sure by now you've refused access to the computer but the controls will give you some peace of mind. In the spirit of helping and not punishing, tell her that she needs a break from the computer since it has turned out to be a bad influence.
Don't get me wrong, she needs to understand that her behavior is unacceptable and should not be repeated as she is too young for this. Explain to her that she needs to be a grownup and in love or married, depending on your beliefs.
As far as involving the authorities, you may be better able to determine that after speaking with the therapist. If you are unsure of this step, run it by the therapist. Combined with her impressions and info from your daughter and her training she will help you to make a decision about how to next proceed.
Raising kids in this cyber age is a challenge that past generations did not have to deal with so we have no blueprint for how to handle it. However, kids have been playing doctor and challenging members of the opposite sex to remove their clothing for generations.. This is not something that you can't nip in the bud.
I wish you and your family my heartfelt best.
2007-02-10 09:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by Loki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ya ... CPS will be all over this in a heartbeat. first of all, of course she is not going to tell YOU her PARENTS. not going to happen.
the porn, you can get that blocked from your tv and internet, if your not overly electronicaly capable, talk to your providers and they will be happy to help you out.
the "sex"..ok not sre why you put qotes around it like that but there are two things you can do. the first and most obvious (no offense) is to keep them seperate. if they do have to be together, keep them out of the bedrooms and with an adult at all times. second, if the first is not managable, if you know when they are having "sex" then catch them in the act. hopefully the embarrassment should keep them out of it and they are too young to not be constantly checked up on. now dont go check on them every half hour, kids are quick to catch onto patterns like that. make sure it is random. if you are not used to watching your kids very closely becasue of whatever reason, well, they are your kids. start now. even if you think it may be "inconvienent," having this turn into a problem and having to call the authorities, CPS and the DA will be even MORE of and "inconvienence."
2007-02-10 08:47:15 · answer #3 · answered by shutgstr1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you discuss this matter imediately with you daughters pediatrician. This person is most likely in the best position to help decide the extent of the "play" and whether it has crossed the line to criminal behaviour.
Regardless of that outcome, if it were my daughter, the 10 yr old cousin would never enter my home again. Nor would I ever allow them to be together without monitoring.
2007-02-10 08:46:53 · answer #4 · answered by KirksWorld 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where did she get the porn? From your computer? From your video library? And allowed to watch it with no supervision at 8 yrs old? Then maybe you should lose custody until you can show more responsibility.
If it came from the cousin, then he and his parents should go to court, and your daughter should receive some counseling.
2007-02-10 08:47:39 · answer #5 · answered by busterdog 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋