what's wrong with me???

Question

i've never had a boyfriend in my life.i am not bi or a lesbian.the sweetest guys ask me out.but i always say no.they tell me i am beautiful and all these nice things, but i don't feel anything for them.i want to like them as more than just friends but i don't know how.they say that i am pretty but i just can't see it.i don't see myself as pretty or anywhere near there.i have a very low self-esteem and i don't know what to do.i think i should learn to love myself first before i can love anyone else, but it is so hard.what should i do.i hurt these guys feelings and it makes me so sad.they deserve better than me. i don't understand why they like me.i just don't feel the spark.why me instead of all these gorgeous girls.i am so confused.

Answer 1

CAUSE YOU HAVE SELF ESTEEM ISSUES ..WHEN WE HAVE A LOW SELF ESTEEM ..THAT'S WHAT CAUSES US TO, NOT TO WANT A RELATIONSHIP ..LEARN TO BUILD SELF CONFIDENCE !

Answer 2

First of all there's nothing wrong with you but low self -esteem (smile). Your on the right track with loving your self first, then loving someone else. Stay focused on that , sometimes other people see us for who we are , but we can't see ourselves as others see us. ( Makes sense). If others can see you as beautiful, pretty and so on believe me "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." I can tell you this as an mature woman , who has the same problem but I'm learning to accept the compliments from this guys even if I'm not interested that doesn't mean that what their saying is not true (smile). Stop beating yourself up , you deserve to be love , and cared for just like everyone else does. It's not your call about other people , whether their gorgeous or not , concern yourself about you and what you need to do. These guys may have dated these type of girls and found that they were not what they were interested in personality or whatever. Sometimes guys want someone who will be real , sincere in their actions, and everything about them. When you come out of that shell and realize that its a wonderful world out there and that time is precious and you can't get back the time that you have lost redeem yourself and LIVE life to the fullest (SMILE) .Believe in yourself and that's a step in the right direction .

Answer 3

hahaha...okay, first things first, (and ur gonna hear this a MILLION times from a million people, and if its not cliche to u already, I'm sure it will be):

Theres NOTHING wrong with u. Nothing. The fact that ur so honest about ur feelings shows a sincerity thats actually really really rare in people.

Theres no reason for u to have a low self-esteem. Your not a failure or whatever, because u dont have to try to be anything in the first place, let alone fail at being it. You're perfectly u just the way u are, and all u have to do is express that "you"-ness as much as u can in as many aspects of life as u possibly can...in ur words, ur work, ur loves, everything.

Nobody can live life as u but u, so live it. Do stupid, socially unaccepted, or socially praised things, left right and center, express your soul in everything u do , and enjoy it,regardless of social expectation or what people CLAIM is "good enough" or "lame" or "cool" . U've got an average of 73.3 years to leave ur unique stamp on the world...to leave us with the unabashed signature of ur soul.

If a guy asks u out, dont worry about whether u'll see something special in him or not. Just interact with him, give him the benefit of the doubt, and use that interaction to express urself, show who u are, bounce ur mind and heart against his, and carry on living. And who knows...maybe u'll find something in him thats resonant with what u feel.

Anyway...hope i'm makin sense

Answer 4

Yes before you can love someone else you have to love your self or it will be hard to keep a relationship. But at the same time you don't feel no spark for them because you haven't gave them a chance to show you a good time. I would say just give them a chance but let them know exactly what you said in your question. I was like that once to and it took me dateing this guy to realize that i was very pretty and I started seeing what everybody else was seeing. Most of the time if a guy tells you that your pretty then honey you are. everybody is pretty in their own way and things like this is something that other people can see but you can't. give these guys a chance but just be up front with them before yall go out on a date. good luck i hope i helped.

Answer 5

i had a low-esteem for a long while. I met someone who i thought i would never date and well i have started to love myself a lot more and you know. Try one date with one of these guys it would be good for you and you could learn something new about yourself. Let the guy know how you feel and you have never done this before and be open with him emotionally because if he can't be there for you and help you out than you know you have to keep trying to find that someone. Ya need to just adventure out there. You need to open up emotionally first before anything because your relationship will be stronger and you can start having a higher self-esteem.

Answer 6

I know from experience what you are talking about. I have had these issues myself. I am a very beautiful thick woman who has had issues with my weight. I havent always been as big and beautiful, as i am now. Having to ajust with the weight gain after having 5 kids was hard for me. But you have to love yourself also. Dont let anyone take advantage of you because of your low self esteem. I would just suggest having friends and just getting to knwo guys who think you are beautiful, just to see what they are about and you will know if that man is real or not we have that womans intuition that lets us know just when someone is being real or not. I wouldnt say just go out and date everyman that says that you are beautiful. But give someone that chance. Once you give them the chance you may find it in yourself to love you.

Answer 7

well i think that you should spontaneously say yes to one of the good guys that ask you on a date. I know it might be hard, but if you say yes, it'll be easier for you on the social/dating level.

Also, if a lot of guys say that you're beautiful, then you really must be. So take that as a compliment and think of the positive of that than the negative (which would be...?? nothing) . anyway, just try to stay positive about the good things people say about you...

i think you just need to take a leap and dare to do something that will boost your confidence so that you won't have low self-esteem.

Good luck

Answer 8

There is an old song that says, "Everybody's beautiful, in their own way". Is there not anything that you like about yourself? I'm ugly, and I know it, but I have pretty eyes. The guys that ask you out are being serious...they really want to enjoy your company. I want you to do this, the next time a nice guy asks you out, instead of saying "NO", say "YES"....okay? Try it. You'll enjoy dating.....Try it. See for yourself!!

Answer 9

Honey,
If they say you are beautiful, then you ARE beautiful. Most guys don't give empty compliments. You're absolutely right, you need to learn to love yourself. And you know what, Mr. Right will come along, and then you'll feel the spark. Remember that you are amazing. Don't worry about them, worry about yourself. You are terrific and no guy needs to tell you that. I'd suggest talking to somebody, like a friend or a counseler. Learn to love yourself!

Answer 10

There is nothing wrong with you, you just need some self identification in your life. You are beautiful both inside and out. You need to get out and live, not hide and worry. Take some time to talk to someone that is non-bias about you, take the time to get to know who you really are and relax, its not a contest or a duty, look for love in the eye of the beholder. If you need someone to tell you mail me......

Answer 11

Oh , god girl-friend u need some girl-help , dont worry always love ur self no matter wat , and if som-one tell u ur beatiful take it nicly and say " THanx " and let them down easy if u dont like them , if u do maybe ask if they would maybe go out to the Carnival , Valentines day is comeing , which is a great oppurtunity for u , so take it

U will always be beatiful on the inside and the outsaide doesnt matter !!! : ))