Would you be able to forgive that family member? If you would why? Because if that situation happened to me then that person would be dead to me in my eyes. However I think deep down my family would forgive that family member. If they did, how would you feel about the rest of the family, forgiving the family member who betrayed you? If they did that then I’m sure I would feel abandoned by them, and feel like running away from everyone I ever knew. How would you deal with a situation like this if it happened to you?
2007-02-10 06:34:53 · 24 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would have their bloody guts for garters.
2007-02-10 06:43:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a tough predicament. I hope you have got rid of the partner. You keep talking about being betrayed by the family member but not your partner. Seems the family member means more to you than the partner. Rightly so. Talk to the family member and ask them why they did it and explain how difficult it will be for you to trust them again, especially round your partner/s. There is no reason why your family should forgive the family member or support the family member. Family should be there for the both of you. It would be very sad if you were alienated for something you never did. Take it easy and try and have a talk with this family member. No matter how hard you try you can never cut a family member off. That would not resolve anything because the hurt will always be there if never resolved. Good luck.
2007-02-10 07:26:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Soooooo difficult. You never know who you are going to fall in love with. However, hopefully you would have loyalty to your partner. Some people do really fight this. Lots depends on family and circumstances and don't think there is a straightforward answer. If your partner and a relation just decided to have sex for sheer lust, one night stand type of thing then, taking no account or bothering about your feelings don't know if at anytime anyone would even want to forgive their selfishness. If the marriage was in trouble, your partner and another family member had came together, really had fought the situation for a long period and then gave in, don't approve but it makes the situation very different. If you are the person betrayed and still in love with the partner it is devastating. However you cannot make somebody love you so you would have been clinging to straws. Personally, my views are probably old fashioned as in if a person at one time fell in love and something had gone they should try to work things out. However, it brings me back to the question and the answer can be so different in so many situations and certainly can cause a break within a family never to be put right. Hope you are just asking for sake of asking, sincerely hope it hasn't happened to you or a loved one.
2007-02-10 10:43:33 · answer #3 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would kick the fella to the curb, then i would sit down with the family member and say you hurt me, big time, and it will take a long time to get through this! Then stay out of there way for a while and then slowely let them back into my life for the rest of the family.
But i would make it known that the only reason i was doing it was for the rest of the family, and that if they had been anyone else i would have kicked their head in and never spoken to them again!
2007-02-13 04:22:51 · answer #4 · answered by GeorgieP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would be able to forgive that person in time because that's family regardless and they are always going to be where the other person will not always be there but I will make the point clear and what is on my mid out and not care who likes it because they were dead wrong and they know it.. Don't be a kid be an adult about it...
The problem is with the three of you not the rest of your family so don't let what they say or do about this situation (if they did forgive or not even let it get 2 them) affect your relationship with you and them don't hold it against them they had nothing to do with what happened in the long run.
Well if that person messed with your family though who knows who else there is but that is real low and f*cked up of the both of them they may have or not cared about hurting you but they did so do you let that person go and have fun go out and do you and tell them to do them. if u love that person and want to be with that person then talk to them and let them know look i love you and all but i need some time to think and in that thinking time DO YOU HAVE FUN you don't have to have sex with anyone but you can date what's wrong with a date you do have friends of the opposite sex right...
i don't know that's just what came to my mind.. My bestfriend had sex with my man and it's been a couple of years and we never spoke again and now I find myself thinking about her time to time and the fun we had I should not have let a man come between it I cut them both off then and now none of us talk. She has a new man and life so do I and he is just doing whateva.
2007-02-10 06:49:54 · answer #5 · answered by j_luuv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it would depend. If it was just a sexual "poke it in thing/fling"
then I would give the partner a big fat lip as well as "the family member" BUT remember an emotional affair is so much worse a one-time thing affair. (If in fact you think it was or will be a
one time deal) I think I could forgive if it was a sexual fling vs. an emotional affair. Emotional affair I mean by sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other, sharing goals and dreams, your hopes, and whats important to ones self, and etc....
I would never trust the family member again and the "partner" would really have to commit to not doing it again.
At least that's what I would do ... (I think..)
2007-02-13 17:55:38 · answer #6 · answered by phantom16052000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would put an appropriate amount of blame on my partner and get them out of my life. But understand that families tend to always forgive - because they can't "disown" a relative and want to keep harmony in the group. So understand if some family members want to forgive to keep the peace. Eventually you will feel less bitter and move on with your life.
2007-02-10 08:28:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would expect other family members to totally understand how I am feeling, back me up in every way possible. I would not expect them to cut the person off from the family, and take away their love. I can ask my family to back me up when I know and they know I am right, but I cannot ask them to stop loving another family member.
I would hope they would talk to this other family member in a harsh way, but also make them understand what they did was totally wrong.
I would leave my husband and have nothing to do with this family member, but not expect others to do the same.
2007-02-10 06:44:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would divorce my spouse and as for the family member that had the affair...they better stay away from me. I would eventually forgive everyone but that doesn't mean I would trust them or like them. My family can say or do whatever they want but my mind would be made up.
2007-02-10 07:17:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a hard one.. no matter what you (You and the mean one) are both family and it is really not fair for the rest of the family to have to choose who they should or should not talk to and support. It takes alot of understanding and time on your behalf but you will always feel betrayed by your family deep inside. Either you deal with it or don;t talk to any of them. I know something like this happened to me if you want email me..
2007-02-10 06:55:44 · answer #10 · answered by BLONDE BEAUTY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would kill the b*tch and him as well. I would never forgive this just the same as I would never forgive a friend that did it to me.
I would be hurt if my other family members forgave her but that would be par for the course with my family.
I would make sure that everybody I knew found out what a little tramp she was.
2007-02-10 10:27:07 · answer #11 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋