I have seen gals reprimand guys and call them "pigs" when one held a door open for her saying "I can do it myself". Another gal did not let a guy carry her package saying " I am not that weak, the box won't break my wrist." Is chivalary a form of chauvinism in an age of hyper-feminity? The other day I walked out a hotel lobby letting the door slam behind me knocking down a pretty ballerina who called me an "uncouth brute". I am confused. What would be a sensible game plan for reading female expectations?
2007-02-10 05:13:51 · 20 answers · asked by Kaliyug Ka Plato 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It really is sad that things have gotten this bad. Myself, I am very independent and like knowing that I can do things myself, but if someone offers to do something nice for me I'm not about to be rude to them. I'll either let them, or decline nicely.
If I were you, this is what I would do. If you're going through a door and someone is coming out right behind you, then hold the door open for them. Just go out the door first, then hold the door open till they're out. This is always the courteous thing to do for anyone, male or female, in my opinion.
As far as offering to carry something for a woman, if she appears to be struggling then I would offer. If she declines then let it go. Hope this helps.
2007-02-10 05:31:12 · answer #1 · answered by Mystical Illusions 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally i think it's very sweet when guys hold the door open for me. And I always thank them, too. Although i wouldn't want a stranger to carry my packages for me just because of the amount of creeps in the world that might run off with them. I'd say keep holding the door open for women and just ignore the b.itches that call you a pig for doing so. ALWAYS hold the door open for older women though. They expect it.
Edit: I also hold the door open for other women as well as men. I basically consider it as "whoever gets there first gets to hold the door open" unless the person is elderly, and then I try to get there first so i can hold it open.
2007-02-10 06:43:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm female:
Look, it is common curtesy for a man to open a door or carry a package for a woman; if I see anyone with a package, i'd offer to carry it, too, and just because it's considerate.
This whole damn thing has gone way too far.
A man tries to be considerate and nice to a woman and she acts like a jerk. You know what? I wouldn't blame men if they just let the damn door hit her in the head; maybe it'll knock some sense into her.
Men don't even know how to act anymore. They try to be decent, and they are told off.
If they don't do anything, they're told they aren't considerate of others. If they make a statement about a girl being "hot", its sexual harrassment.
Ya know what? If a woman acts in any way as you have described, don't bother with her, she isn't worth it - she'll be nothing but trouble.
I am a woman, and I enjoy being and acting like a decent woman. I love men who act like men, not wimps. Women are trying to get men to act against their nature, and they want to bring up their little boys to be "unisex" instead of men.
Its crazy. Real women love real men. If I were you, I would act like a real man, and if a woman wants to act like a *****, the heck with her. What some of these women really need is a good strong man to push them down, and show them what it means to be a woman, and what it means to be a man.
I'm sick and tired of this crap where people don't even understand what sex they are.
Its beautiful to be a woman, and its beautiful to be a man. Its high time we got back to being what we are, instead of, well, what many want us to become.
2007-02-10 05:27:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's just courtesy. I hold open doors and do other acts of courtesy and kindness for anyone - any sex, race or age. It's just courteous. And I accept gracefully when others do the same. If a woman gets upset because you do so, she has issues, not you (unless you DO have an agenda - then you both got issues). Perhaps just do it for everyone and that particular woman might see that you do not have an agenda.
I don't think doing things like this should be limited to men doing for women. However, accept that some men grew up in a different generation and old programming is hard to change. They're doing it because, to them, it's genuinely what they think is right and expected.
2007-02-10 05:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by Skeff 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just treat EVERYONE, male or female with courtesy, respect, and deference. Don't try to read minds or body language - hard or impossible to do.
If you are a healthy person, always hold doors - for EVERYONE. Male/female, young/old, rich/poor.
If you treat EVERYONE (regardless of race, religion, or gender) courteously, some hyper-sensitive woman will not think you are demeaning her. And actual ladies will appreciate it.
2007-02-10 16:35:30 · answer #5 · answered by Carl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting question. Guess it really just depends on the individual. You can't act a certain way and please everybody...so I'd say do what you think is courteous and respectful and forget what the feminists say. As a woman, I hold the door open for anybody behind me out of courtesy, and always, repeat ALWAYS think highly of men who hold open the door for me and/or try to help me carry something heavy or whatever.
2007-02-10 05:20:32 · answer #6 · answered by Katiecat 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
nicely somewhat historic previous...i used to verify up on the Knights earlier while and that they'd walk closest to the line and lay their coat over puddles for a woman. Open doorways no longer talk with their mouthful and all that style of element. So me for my section it do no longer remember and all i'm implying is admire. i will constantly furnish a seat, wont swear or attempt to no longer be to vulgar in her presence. Its purely admire for women persons customarily.
2016-09-28 22:20:34 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the particular lady in question. Do what you know is right and avoid girls who criticize you for doing it. If she has problems with you holding a door for her, it won't last very long. Make them adapt to you, not the other way.
2007-02-10 05:17:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The gals who want to do it themselves should be left alone but it does not mean that you stop being polite to others. Doors have to be held for all, not only for gals!
2007-02-12 00:43:28 · answer #9 · answered by Moti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You be polite and curteous.
Dont slam doors.
Learn manners. You show respect and manners and see the situation and then act. If the girl wants you to carry her bags please help her and open the door for girls and elders . it shows your good upbringing.
Some women think that they are strong and they do not want help from others, well these are not many,
You show chivalry and good manners and be polite.
2007-02-10 05:30:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋