I hurt her. Can we work it out?

Question

Been with my fiance for 7 years and have a little boy of 3yrs and another baby on way. Went through a low spell last autumn and my fiance didnt seem to want to know (she says she didnt know what to do) and I got friendly with another girl (nothing sexual - was not interested in that at all!). Anyway my fiance found out that I had lied about meeting this girl (only met her twice) and went ballistic. We just about got through this when she found a letter I had written to girl I met on a business trip about two years ago (it was only about half a page and I never sent it - do not know why I wrote it. Didnt even remember writing it or I still had it). Anyway the upshot is we have split up BUT she says she still loves me and wants it to work. I have moved out but stay over a couple of nights a week (spare room). I think she is really angry with me (obviously) and just needs time. Can we make it work? Any tips on how I should handle this? I would do anything to sort this out.

Answer 1

Yes ...you can work it out but if you really want it to work you have to stop making these stupid decisions. She will probably not trust you for a long time and you are going to have to deal with it when she gets angry if she suspects something even if you truely aren't doing anything. You are just going to have to deal with it. Just be sure that you really want to be with her and you are done with talking to random girls behind her back because if you ultimately end up not being together, you are hurting her hope of a normal relationship in the future.
I hope everything works out for you.
My fiance and I are just now doing better after 2 years of lies.

Answer 2

Ya! Absolutely,
But it totally depends upon the things, whether you love her or not. Obviously if love is binding the relation then there is no need to do something special. If she truly loves you, he will soon understand your thoughts and feelings. Just make her feel that how much you love her. Again come close to her heart. But it will take some time. Be gental, and spend some time with her as before. After some time you will see that everything is going fine. You should start by apologising of the thing you have done and promise her that you will not do it again remember, make eye contact, while speaking and maintain a pleasent surround environment and so her, how much you care about her and how important is "she" in your life.
Thats all
Best of Luck
Come On.. Go ahead... start planning from right now.

Answer 3

I think you need to sort through what it is you are looking for in these other women and be honest with your fiance. Are you dissatisfied in your relationship in some way? Or, is it just a little escapism...maybe from the demands of parenthood. I think some honesty and an apology would go a long way here. I think she is probably angriest about the lying or half-truths. Just reading your post, I was wondering what the whole truth is with these other women. Another thought: Do you really want your relationship to work with her, or are you just wanting to "sort this out," as you say, which makes it sound like you want the conflict to be over with. You say you have been with your fiance for 7 years and have a child, with one on the way...what is holding you back from getting married?

Answer 4

i guess in every relationship there would always be mistakes, pain and try to work it out... Nothing is too late or too hard to make things work, as long as there is love within the two of you. In the first place hurting her was never your intention (I'm sure its the last thing you want to do), simply ask for her forgiveness would do and love will do all the rest of the healing, but it's actually not about making it work or not. Relationships are base on love and trust, if one of them is missing things will never work, and the love you had for each other was never lost.. but it's the trust... You got to work double time to prove your worth in winning her back in your arms and start gaining the trust that you almost lost. There is no proper tips to give or advice to share you just got to follow your heart... it will lead your way home...

Answer 5

'Once a lover,always a lover'.Also 'There is no remedy for love than to love the more'

Above is why things would ever still workout for the two of you.Especially moreso that you expecting a second child.

Steps:
1.Tender a sincere appology over dinner this valentine, where you would fix a date for your marriage engagement/ceremony.As the truth is you have behaved the way you did because you are not commited to her even though you have kid(s).
2.Make your marriage vows-get married.
3.I dont know what your religion is.But always abide to God's principle concerning marriage in what ever action you take that affects the two of you.I am familiar with the christian tenents.It works for me and has preserved my marriage over 6 years.
N.B Remember the girls wouldn't stop lurking especially if you are a man with style and taste.
Just a little discipline will do.Goodluck.

Answer 6

This is why you have the kids after you get married. Now you have one kid and one on the way that gets dragged into this mess. It sounds like you aren't really ready to make a commitment if you are still grappling with playing around. Remain friends and figure out what your intentions are. Are you ready to stop the wandering eye and be faithful to your fiance? if not don't get married just share custody of the kids and get on with your lives while the kids are still young and don't know any better.

Answer 7

I think anyone can make a mistake. Looks like you did a good one. If the feelings are there still, then give it a try. You have kids to think about. Maybe she is willing to forgive you for being a jerk. Think next time about what your doing.

Answer 8

it's hard to say whether it will work out or not, because after something like this happens people lose trust and respect for you. Although you may not have really cheated on your fiance, you lied to her, and it's hard to believe someone you love after they do that. They fear that you may hurt them again. Hope this helps

Answer 9

First of all, she'll probably need more than just time. She's going to feel that you breached her trust, and that is going to be hard (but not impossible) to fix. She's probably going to have to learn to trust you again, and you need to be supportive and helpful to her as much as you can be. You're probably going to have to re-prove to her that you're worth her trust. But if you both still love eachother and are willing to work on it, then yes, it is possible to work it out.

Answer 10

If she loves you and wants to work it out-truly then things with work out in there own time. Try buying roses and showing that you still love your finace. Trust takes time.