Getting a four year old to stay in bed?

Question

My auntys little four year old son has a thing about waking up two -three times a night and wanting to sleep with her, but when she takes him back to bed he starts wanting drinks and needing to go to the toilet. I suggested its attention seeking, but i dont have kids so dont really have a clue :-( Does anyone know why he keeps doing this everynight? Its been a nightly routine for the last four months. My aunt is getting really fed up of it now

Answer 1

You go to the store, buy a chart, then let him pick out some stickers. Tell him that every night he goes without getting out of bed, he gets a sticker. Once he gets ten stickers he gets to make cookies with her or gets a new toy.

Answer 2

My son used to be like that. She needs to instill a routine and stick with it. With my son it was, brush his teeth, get ready for bed, read a book have a cuddle then into bed. It was hard for the first few weeks as he would cry as soon as I'd left the room or get out of bed but i would just put him back without saying a word or just ignore the crying. He now goes to bed at 8pm and sleeps through the night because we kept up the routine and didn't give in. Trust me it works

Answer 3

its probably a phase - avoid the drinks but sometimes at this time of year central heating can make them thirsty. Toilet trips are necessary unless you like doing lots of washing. My eldest did this and we eventually found out the problem was she was scared of the dark and got her a low level bulb in a night light. If there have been any big changes in his routine or within the family this can also trigger this kind of behaviour. My 2 year old comes through at 6.30am every morning unless he is ill when its either all night from about 1am or not at all - its hit or miss. My 5 year old hated coming into our bed so I always had to climb into hers when she needed it.
He may be able to tell her why he needs to as he should be old enough to explain some of his actions depending how articulate he is.
Good luck but chances are he will grow out of this in his own good time x

Answer 4

You are spot on it is purely attention seeking , he is obviously used to jumping into mums bed and getting away with it (been there myself ) , my little girl is 4 and has just for the last 5 nights been sleeping in her own bed for the first time ever .. (she used to jump in beside her sisters everynight) but thankfully all of a sudden she is happy to stay in her own big bed .. I let her pick a new duvet set etc , she chose Dora the explorer and she has a favourite ted to cuddle , so far so good ! Maybe your aunt could do the same ? take him shopping and let him pick a new bedset , maybe spiderman or whatever he is into and maybe a toy to cuddle ??

good luck x

Answer 5

My daughter that just turned 3 is doing the same thing. We found that if we put her back to bed without giving in to what she asks, she'll go back to sleep. If she needs to use the potty, she can do so on her own. We leave night lights on in the bathroom and hallway for her, but she still comes to tell us when she has to go. However, now she goes right back to bed. She realizes that she's not going to sleep with Mommy and Daddy or get a drink. She has to be a 'big girl' and use the potty on her own and go back to bed.

Answer 6

I agree with everything Tracey said, tell your aunty to give that a try!
I also agree with you and think it could be attention seeking.
But also get your aunt to check the room. My niece also does this and it is because there is a street light outside her window and when it's windy she can see things moving (like a shadow on her curtains). Also when it's windy something bangs against her room. But now she just keeps waking up and getting in her mums bed, I suppose she is used to it.

Make sure the room is very dark (get a black-out blind if necessary), maybe change his room around etc...
Good luck x

Answer 7

It's perfectly normal..although irritating to say the least. My kids all did it. I think it's more about checking to see that mom is still there. The only thing that worked for me was to be consistant and keep taking him back to his bed. Telling him he needs to be a big boy and get some sleep in his nice comfy bed. Make sure he has a favorite stuffed animal to comfort him. It's about the only thing that worked for me and over time it does work I promise. I went through this 3 times..lol.

Answer 8

This is attention-seeking behavior, and not at all unusual. She must avoid giving him the attention he wants but silently putting him back in bed each time he gets out. In the meantime, she should lavish attention on him just before bed.

If she doesn't give in to the temptation to allow him in her bed, or give him any kind of attention, he'll get the message.

Answer 9

My daughter trys it often i put her to bed and she says mummy i need a drink i say no because you will wet the bed so she says can i play with my dolly and so on it makes me feel really mean sometimes to keep saying no but if you persist they get the message whatever you do dont give in because everytime you do you make it harder next time goodluck

Answer 10

he wants mummys cuddles and knows he'll get them as you say he keeps doing it, its become a routine for him now so his body clock always wakes up. she has to be strict and follow it through by putting him back to bed every time he gets out and explain he has to sleep in his own room. he will take the hint that she means buisness if she sticks to it even if it takes 2-3 weeks.