Has anybody else here been RAISED by a single parent and preferred it that way.....?

Question

I just read a question and some answers regarding children born out of wedlock. I myself was raised by a single mom and I loved it then, and i love it now. In hindsight I can look back and say, it couldn't have been any better for me, my brother agrees. Yet some people are saying that all kids raised by single parents are going to hate the parent in the end for not giving them a father. I personally had a father, and chose not to see him, still choose not to see him. The other question then would be, why do all these people assume that kids are being raised by their mothers, their are single fathers out there as well. As one person said, "if the woman would not spread her legs for just anyone there wouldn;t be all these kids out of wedlock." Does the same apply for those that are being raised by single dads, as in if Dad had just kept it in his pants. Or is just another one of those lovely double standards?

nwnativeprincess......i respect your opinion, but what makes you think that all single parents, be it dads or moms, use their children against one another as pawns. Does being a single parent automatically make them dysfunctional in your eyes? why is that? Generalizations only serve to make people look idiotic, just because some people are like that does not mean that all people should be lumped into the same category, it amazes me that people don't quite get that yet.

Answer 1

i had a baby last year and i'm not married. that doesn't mean my son won't have a father though. i was also raised by my mom and wouldn't have it any other way. my dad was not fit to take care of us and my mom worked her *** off toprovide for my sister and me. i never felt deprived because i still had a relationship with my dad too. i didn't "spread my legs" for just anybody, and actually, i got pregnant while on birth control. i was doing everything i was supposed to, short of celibacy, to not get pregnant and it still happened. if a son grows up without a father, its more than likely it was the father's choice not to be there. and good point, there are plenty of single dad's out there too.

Answer 2

My mom raised me and my two sisters by herself. I didn't meet my biological father until I was 23 I am now 32 and I haven't seen or heard from him since, which is fine with me. Unfortunately my mom remarried and my step father my sisters father was physically and mentally abusive towards my mother during the entire time that they were married, finally she left him and we were all much happier with it just being the four of us girls my mom worked hard to raise her kids and did a good job of it, we all work and have our own homes and are with men that treat us with respect. We learned from our mothers mistakes having children to early in life and choosing men that were not father material, but we learned them well. I would rather have no father figure at all than a toxic one. I think that people have a double standard when it comes to single mothers, I mean how many single fathers out there are the ones that were married and spouse died or took off and doesn't want the kids, rather than ones who got a girl pregnant and he took her to court to keep the child when she didn't want it and was going to have an abortion. I think both single mothers and single fathers should be commended for the double parenting duty that they are doing.

Answer 3

It would be difficult for most people to give an objective answered to this.

Sure most of society would lead you to believe that a single mom or a single dad could accomplish this task successfully but the fact of the matter is they can't.

A father cannot offer a child what a mother can nor can a mother offer a child what a father can. Hence the same reason why to dad's work to mom's cannot raise a child the same way a mother and a father can.

Society continues to minimize the importance of a mother and father raising a child to promote their liberal agenda.

The most successful way of raising a child is by following God's law and his design for a family.

Answer 4

I was raised by a single mother. At the time, I didn't fully appreciate the sacrifices she made for my brother and I, but I most certainly do now (I'm 24, better late than never!). She worked retail, and worked A LOT, just so my brother and I could live, have good birthdays, and not realize how poor we really were.
It would have been nice to have a real father around, but he was an abusive drug addict. I cannot stress this enough: HAVING NO FATHER IS BETTER THAN HAVING AN ABUSIVE ONE!
I believe that as a result of seeing my mother's determination and hard work and patience all those years, it has given me a great work ethic, and other strong qualities.

Answer 5

My mom was a single parent but we dad and her remained close and we always saw him. That normally does not happen but we were their priority. Would I have wanted them to stay together and be unhappy? NO. who would want that? That would have made us DYSFUNCTIONAL!
I am also a single mom myself and my daughter has less problems them those with two parent homes. People are always judging others not even knowing what happened to make them "single" to begin with,
Yes, there are double standards. Women walk away from families too.
I hate when people say I am selfish for having my daughter, yet if I had an abortion people would have something to say about that too..
Too many judgemental ignorant people in this world.
About 97% of the people that I know that are married are miserable.
I agree with you 100%!

Answer 6

I am eighteen years old, which i myself was raised by my mother as well as my four brothers. My father just up and left one day, so it's not a thing that she didn't want him to see us or a thing like you said how some people say that if the girl/ lady hadn't of opened her legs there wouldn't any any children running around without a father. Majority of the people that i know were raised by their mother but i do know that there are some great fathers out there doing it on their own as well. But i myself believe in my mother, she raised all of us up to be respectful young adults. She was never on anything such as welfare or anything like that she worked two sometimes three jobs for all of us to live. My father never paid child support or anything, he would send us $25 in tha mail for our birthdays but that was nothing, i mean i was grateful don't get me wrong but you can't really go to the store anymore and get anything with that. He passed away March 10, 2004 without saying goodbye...even without saying he loved any of us. Never said it once. I mean it hurt me but I'm sure it hurt him more looking down on us knowing that we could make it without him! Thanks for listening to my story though. So i support single parents all the way, without them we wouldn't be the way we are today. Take care!!
If you want to ever talk here's my e-mail address:
[e-mail]

Answer 7

you prefer it because you don't know anything different. if you feel that you turned out okay coming from a single parent family, your parent did their job right.
everybody has an opinion, and here is mine.
all children should be born to two loving, caring, committed people, they should be cherished. they should not be used as tools, for dysfunctional parents to use against the other.
if a single parent wants to raise a functional human being in this life, more power to them. I come from a family, where my brothers have custody of my nieces and nephews.


I was only speaking of the ones who do!!!! I do not see the phrase "ALL" in this statement.
you are the the one trying to generalize my comment.
LIKE I SAID THIS IS MY OPINION!!!!!!!!!!!

male/female role models do not always have to be the father or mother.

Answer 8

I was raised by just my mom and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.And she wasn't spreading her legs for just anyone.Her and my abusive dad just didn't stay together.I am glad that my mom was strong enough to get out of an abusive relationship,even though it meant raising me alone.She had things rough while I was growing up but she stuck it out and hung in there and raised me the best that she could,and I love her and appreciate everything she did for me and still does she is the best.

Answer 9

my mom raised my sister and i alone, she was awesome at it hell in the end all of our friends and people she barely knows call her mom cause she's dominate when she needs to be and caring when needed as well. my mom tried to get my dad in shape to help raise us but he was too concerned with his drugs and what not. she also tried to find a good guy to just be the father figure she thought we needed and that always ended badly( they always got jealous of my sis and i, bad things happened and one tried to kill us another tried to leave us around town hoping we'd disappear thinking my mom wouldn't notice we were gone) she finally just had her last straw with all the BS when we hit our teen years. yes we always encouraged her to find someone but we all know how it can go. i have a baby of my own now and married to the dad now but even though we're married i still do 99% of the raising while he just works then sits on his lazy butt. i'm not mad because i know he loves him, he does play with him, and i know i have the ability of to raise him to be the best guy he can be.

single moms and dads get all of my respect because it's so hard yet they are doing what needs to be done. they are putting things aside and doing what needs to be done . some go to college and others work their butts off to give a good life for their young and you have to admire that.

Answer 10

I fail to understand why they have to produce a child and not stay together. I'd rather call them crazy & mind blowing people.
Children always need love of both parents.

They dont have the right to deprive a child of the love of both parents.

My dear I can understand your situation. Learn this lesson & pray dont repeat the mistake and deprive your children of what you could'nt get.