My sis is getting married this year in June. She's my step-sis and she's the only sister I have. I`ve always wanted to be a bridesmaid 4 her. Back in April of 2007, my sis sent me a card telling me how much she loved me and that she would always be their for me, which now I think is a lie. I've known about the wedding before my parents and my grandparents did. I`ve known for like a year now. But a few months ago, back in Nov, I found out that my sister's other step-sister who is younger than me, is the junior maid of honor or a junior bridesmaid in her wedding. And I`m nothing. I know that it is her wedding and that she can do whatever she wants, but I`m supposed to be her sister. And it makes me mad that I'm not in her wedding. My family is mad at her for other reasons right now, I don't plan 2 go 2 her wedding b/c of them and because of what she did to me. It makes me sad that I can't be in my own sis's wedding. But do u think it's nice for a girl to do that to her own sister?
2007-02-10 04:31:06 · 13 answers · asked by KU! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It sounds like you are hurt by this and you have every right to be. You should still go to the wedding though. Even if you aren't getting along with everyone there. You need to show your sister that even though you aren't as close to her as you thought ...you can still be there for her. Definately be the bigger person and laugh about this in 20 years!
2007-02-10 04:48:25 · answer #1 · answered by KJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a sister is not an automatic guarantee of being chosen as Maid of Honor or even as a Bridesmaid. It is the bride's decision and no one else's. It's often not an easy decision to make. Often, a bride has tons of relatives and friends to choose from. They are also limited on bridal party size and their desires for their wedding. Some brides don't want a huge bridal party and elect to go with just an honor attendant. I've also attended weddings with fifteen bridesmaids! Also, do you know why she chose her other sister? Budgets also comes into play here. The larger the wedding party, the more expensive it is. She may have chosen to limit her party size because of money issues. If that's the issue, then it's petty and unfair for you to be jealous that she didn't choose you. I hate to say it because it sounds mean, but it's the truth: what's more important right now is the celebration of her union to her beloved and your feelings on the matter are insignificant compared to the love she feels for him and the decisions she's made regarding the wedding.
The question is...how mature are you? This is the only time your step-sister will be getting married (presumably) and your absence will leave a profound mark on her. It may ruin your relationship with her permanently. You should really think about the ramifications of not going before you decide not to attend. Obviously you still love her, because you feel sad about not attending. How important is your fight in the long run? Is it really worth losing her? A mature person would stand by her sister on the most important day of her sister's life and swallow her hurt feelings. It doesn't matter that she won't be there for you, YOU can show that you're the better person and be there for her. Who knows? Maybe this will teach her a lesson about loyalty and faithfulness and she'll change (no guarantees though).
Unless she is being verbally and physically abusive to you, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't at least attempt to put hurt feelings aside for one day and attend her wedding.
2007-02-10 16:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by Hez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I realize that your step-sis has hurt your feelings by not asking you to be a bridesmaid. But two wrongs dont make a right. You should still plan on going to the wedding anyway. That way at least YOU know you are being the bigger person in the situation. Another thing, regret is a very hard thing to live with, I imagine that someday you and her will be getting along again. And wouldnt you feel bad that you didnt go then??
2007-02-10 12:41:40 · answer #3 · answered by Johnny Conservative 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd still go the wedding anyways. You'll regret it later. I had a friend I wasn't really close with and my mom, who is friends with her mother asked if I wanted an invitation, and I said no. I regret it now. We are closer now and regret not going to the wedding.
Weddings suck, they are a game of trying to make everyone else happy, when it really needs to be about the bride and groom. Maybe you ask your step sister to do a reading or something else special because you don't feel included and want to help.
2007-02-10 13:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by Bridget C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do what your hearts tells you. first of have you talked this out with her and let her know your feelings about this? talking can get things out on the table. as for to go or not when you talk to her this answer will come more reveling, if you are truly hurt about this and it will make you have hard feelings on the day of her wedding like you'll be saying to your self that should have been me up there not her, well stay home go out with your bf or friends and have a great time.. then when your sister calls you with news about the honeymoon or other things just blow her off, and say how nice. but first tell her your feelings and go from there. the talk will also show you where your future will go with her from that point on.. she will either open her eyes or keep them shut.. good luck ....................
2007-02-10 12:43:00 · answer #5 · answered by tlcoufan 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are the one who will miss out on a lovely wedding and reception. I would say, dont let it get to you. Hold your head up, and go to the party anyways. Have you thought of calling her and asking why you wern't considered as a bridesmaid? I don't think she should exclude you, for any reason.
2007-02-10 12:43:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you asked her about this?
Had you mentioned how important it is for you to be part of her wedding?
It's wrong to 'shun' a family members wedding because your not in it, because your parents found out later than sooner etc.
You ALL need to get over your selfishness
2007-02-10 12:43:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think i would be upset as well. i have a half brother and i put him in my wedding without thinking twice. even though he is my half brother we're just as close as real brothers and sisters would be. i think it would depend on your relationship though. maybe she didn't feel yall were close enough. talk to her about it. don't jump down her throat though b/c it is her wedding and she gets to chose. don't guilt her into to asking you either. just tell her it's been upsetting you and that you would like to be there for her on her wedding day but you need to know why she didn't ask you.
2007-02-10 14:11:10 · answer #8 · answered by akp_02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well ,look you just said that she's your only sister &that it makes you mad that you are not in her wedding!!!!
Come on you are not "nothing" you are the brid's sister.Don't let her beyherself on her wedding,call her right away&ask if she needs any help & remember that she's your sister,so you can tell her that you would like to be the bridmade....easy.But believe me,don't loose it .if you do so,you willregret it later.....Good luck
2007-02-10 16:06:15 · answer #9 · answered by Emmy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you are more hurt than mad and this is what you should tell her. Let her know it makes you feel like you're not part of the family. Listen to her answers though she may have made decisions that are logical.
2007-02-10 12:40:15 · answer #10 · answered by Grianagh 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋