how do you discipline your child in a public place?

Question

the other day my 7 yrs old son wanted a computer game but i said it was expensive and he started to cry and call me names.everyone stared at us in town it was so embarassing that i pinched him in anger!was that wrong?

but he does'nt use bad language!by calling names i mean he says fatty!!lwhich i do'nt think i am!!lol

Answer 1

Hi there,
I totally understand your dilema, I myself am mum to four children and from time to time there will be scenes we can't get it right 100% of the the time. My usual tactic depending on age of course( but your son as you said is seven) I would of said no calmly but very firmly giving good eye contact at all times. If he did not take no for an answer I would gently take him by the hand leave the shop and once outside (down on his level again eye contact) explain your reason (to the point) sympathise and offer a small reward such as maybe we could buy a comic/ball/sweets etc because you are being so good but at least he would feel in control of his situation. If he at that stage did not back down I say I am going to count to 10 then we are going home (no matter how busy i am) when I have counted to 10 I say well what do you want to do? I have never yet had to make that journey home. I understand everyone has there own way of dealing with their children but as I say this works for me. Good luck hope I have helped in some little way.

Answer 2

You cannot allow that kind of behavior, not in private or in public. I don't understand why you pinched him other than you were embarrassed (he probably didn't either). When my children would have a tantrum in public I would first take them into the restroom (thus removing their audience and most of the control they were trying to use to manipulate the situation) then firmly explain to them that their behavior was NOT acceptable and wouldn't be tolerated. I would explain the consequences (usually loss of privileges when we got home) and the consequences if they continued this behavior.

Calling people names is never allowed in our family, not even if the names are not true (they are still at least very disrespectful and at most abusive). If someone called others names, spit, bit or lied (all what I considered oral offenses) I would put alum on their tongue and explain why their actions were unacceptable. They could not spit the alum out until after the talk. The alum does not hurt them, but is unpleasant enough to deter them.

It is very disturbing that parents are allowing their children to call them names and hit them. It is equally disturbing that they are giving in to their children's tantrums, teaching the children (intentionally or not) that if the child throws enough of a fuss they can control the parent.

Answer 3

It's your child you punish him how you see fit. Don't worry about what other people think. As long as your not abusing him physically all the time (which I'm not suggesting you are) then a pinch isn't going to do him any harm and he'll think twice before misbehaving in public again.

Answer 4

personally i dont agree with physically hitting children mainly because they make more of a scene than they were in the first place and every one gives you that look that has made me in the past want to go over and tell the tuting do gooders what stupid thing they really are wineing for now before i take mine out they no their going to get some kind of treat when they do play up they i remind them they havent had what ever it is ive promised and if they dont stop by the count of 5 its no sweets for a week and 10 minutes on the stair mine do suddenly realize what their doing

Answer 5

I used always do it with glares and a firm use of their names, but now they're older, so they can play me really well! They don't misbehave now, but sometimes the younger two get bored while we're shopping, and a couple of weeks ago, they started running around and getting completely hyper. I roared at them - called them by name (forename and surname) and shouted at them to GET BACK HERE!! They got the fright of their lives (I'd never normally do that). They quickly realised I was joking when they saw my eldest creased on the floor laughing, and they laughed too, but that was the end of the running around!

Answer 6

go away the shop at cutting-edge along with her and tell her interior the automobile or domicile that her you had to go away the shop via fact what she replace into doing replace into no longer suited. tell her you're very unhappy as you probably did no longer get what you mandatory, yet wish that next time she would be able to do greater efficient. She has to have a effect for the undesirable behaviour. Now i comprehend this suggests you will desire to circulate without what you mandatory on the shop, yet circulate later without her. If she likes to have issues, possibly you would be able to desire to bribe her for solid habit, that's something small, yet provide her a reason to act. Take something she likes away for a quick time if she misbehaves and she or he will earn it back if she behaves? that's a hard degree to circulate via and you'd be able to desire to stay solid. it is going to income you the two interior the long-term. solid good fortune and don't difficulty relating to the individuals staring at you.

Answer 7

Absolutely, that was wrong, and it would have been wrong in private, too! Pinching a child is NEVER appropriate!!!!!

As far as public places, obviously your options are more limited than they are at home. If your child is truly having a meltdown, then you simply take him home and let him scream it out or put him on time out. If he is misbehaving and giving you the "whatcha going to do about it?" look, you might try talking to him or giving him the stare.

Answer 8

Well for me time out for my 5 year old has always worked for me. If she has done something that she is not supposed to do, I tell her OK when we get home you are going to get time out. But that only works for children who can remember what they did. If the child is any younger than I would take her to a secluded area and have her sit in time out.

Answer 9

i have a daughter of 6 years . we go 4 shopping . but whenever she asks 4 something which i don't want to buy 4 her i just say that thisone is really expensive i'llbuy u somethinglse from somewherelse. or i try to distract her . but onething is good about my daughter that she understands me quickly

well i never smack my children at home or at any other place.

Answer 10

With four kids ive gone thru this many times.

Firstly, anyone who witnesses the tantrum (with half a brain cell) knows that this is reality, kids behaviour is part of life. So I remind myself of that and ignore/block out surroundings. I try to act no differently than I normally would.

Secondly, appearing unaffected by their behaviour. (They hate calm)

Thirdly, reverse psychology. Ive said things like, "its not me who everyone is looking at."