my husband to be is irish and speaks english and irish when his sister?

Question

rings him she talk to him in irish even though she was in usa for 20 years my point is this get s me mad as i know she speaks english is she doing this to me to be mean and cause an row i have spoken to him and he says she starts frist so he answer her back what should o do

i think she does it to get at me i hsve told my better half rhst i do nt like it i think its rude and she should know better i am learing but its hard it did anoy meas se know s how i fell about this i understand when he speak with his mum or brother as their ebglish is limit it

Answer 1

its normal for people to fall back to their native language when speaking together point out its rude but not sure you will change anything its probably just habit

Answer 2

Sorry, don't want to be hurtful but I am with the answers that think you are paranoid. It is a trivial matter and you are making a mountain out of a molehill. I have lived between Spain and Britain for the past 27 yrs. I love speaking Spanish but English is my naitive language and after a day continually speaking Spanish if someone phones it is soooooooooo good just to speak in English. No matter how many years you speak a second language your naitive language will always come easier to you. Therefore unless you have other reasons why you think your sister-in-law wants to annoy you I think it is all in your mind. I take it you live in Britain and since she is in the US what harm is she doing? Also it must be so rare your husband gets to speak Irish gaelic as it is dying out that you should be happy for him.

Answer 3

Oh, come on! Every national grouping speaks their own language when they get together! England does not rule the world any more! I think it's a credit to your husband and his sister that they are fluent enough to communicate in what was once an almost dead language, and has recently become one of the official languages of the EU.
If you can't beat them - join them ! Learn it for yourself; your husband will be aboslutely delighted, I promise you. Ask him where you can learn, he will know someone running classes. Even if you only get the basics, you can throw her a comment or two that will take the wind out of her sails.

Answer 4

I cant fault your feller.
It reminds me of the time I lived in North Wales, I had to learn Welsh at school, I was in Wales for quite a few years, I used to speak Welsh to my school pals where ever we went.
A lot of English folk visited our area because it was a well known tourist spot, I saw no need at all to switch to English because they were around, why should I ? Bad manners not too? I don't think so.
The English folk I know now tell me that when they went to visit North Wales the locals used to talk to each other about them !!
Paranoid, that's a good word for it. Some even had the nerve in Wales to ask if the Welsh "would be good enough to talk in English" while they were around!!!!!
I know folk from all over the world, some don't have friends of their own nationality living near by, when a couple do meet up they speak to each other in their native tongue , what anyone could possibly object to in that is way beyond me.
What should you do????
Live with it, are you trying to make him ashamed of his native langauge.

Answer 5

Why don't you try to learn Gaelic (the language of Ireland)? People are almost always more comfortable with their native language, regardless of how long they've been speaking a second language. My wife is Japanese, has been in the States for thirty years+ and still speaks Japanese when she talks with the kids. When she speaks with her friends or family she speaks 'Hogan' which is the language of the Okinawan prefecture in Japan. It's just natural and comfortable for her. I still have problems understanding at times when they speak rapidly but I understand their reasons for speaking their own language and don't get upset by it.

Answer 6

Wow no wonder why so many people get divorce, that is irrating you honestly you have nothing better to do in your life than to focus on what he and his sister talk about?
My sister-in-law is from Lousiana she is an all white american girl and she does not speak a word of Spanish or Farsi when she first married my brother. My mother and him and I all speak Farsi at times, it bugged her too at first. You know she did something about it she went and learnt the language (somewhat anyways). We never stopped talking our native language because that is our right to speak it to our family. MY fiance has no problems when I speak farsi to my mother or father, neither do I when he speaks in his thick jamacian accent (which he usually doesnt have unless he speaks to his mom) and I cant understand a thing.

My whole point is his family relationship has nothing to do with you, what they speak about is none of your business you are just getting mad because you can't understand it.
Trust me if she wanted to bug you she would do other things that are more meaningful than speaking their mothers language amongs eachother.

If it bugs you go learn the language, but you are just being insecure and self centered. It is not RUDE TO TALK your Own language if English is not your first. Think about that.

Answer 7

Maybe thats just how they always spoke to one another when they were younger?

If your husband to be is talking to his sister, does it matter what language he uses? It's a conversation between them and you don't need to know what is said. Why would she be talking to him differently to annoy you?

You actually sound a bit paranoid. Surely if his sister wanted to annoy you she''d find a better way to do it than by "making" him speak in Irish (and by that do you mean Irish Gaelic, or just talking with an Irish accent?)

If you trust him, it shouldn't matter what he's saying to his sister or how he says it.

Answer 8

That's ver hard I know how you must be feeling. However agreed with what everone else is saying - you can't stop him - so if you can't stop them join them and ask your husband to teach you!! Could be a little fun and then you'll know what they are saying!! Their most likely not hiding anything just doing what they have always done!

Answer 9

Surely loving someone and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them means accpetig their family - loving all that they are, all that they have come from.

I am bi-lingual and also speak a form of dialect from my home town (my partner doesn't always understand my parents). I would find it very peculiar if my partner asked me to stop speaking to my parents in dialect or my Spanish friends in Spanish just because he didn't always understand. This is what makes me, me.

Your partner has obviously always spoken in his native tongue to his sister - it maybe why they have such a close bond - something that got her through homesick times when she lived in the US. I think you are paranoid and need to grow up a bit and stop assuming the whole world revolves around you.

Answer 10

first learn how to spell and second why don't you ask your husband to be to teach you Irish then you could understand when his family call and you might even get a little more respect from his sister