i have two younger brother.they r 22 and 20.one is like to gamble and another one is like drinking..both of them r very bad.they always give trouble to my parents.i love them but sometimes i will feel angry to them also.what should i do now?recently,he lose a lot of money,so my mom paid for him again.i understand what the thinking of my mom.but i never understand what is my brother thinking?????i try many way to persuade him but no use..so..........???!!!
2007-02-10 03:47:45 · 13 answers · asked by Fay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There's really nothing you can do. Until your brothers decide to make some changes in their lives, they'll remain loosers. Please encourage your mother to stop bailing your brother out when he looses his money gambling; it's called enabling him, and she's doing more harm than good. Best of luck to you, and your family!
2007-02-10 03:53:16 · answer #1 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both gambling and drinking is an addiction. this means that once they start doing it, they feel the need to do it all of the time and they cannot control their urges to do these things. what both of your brothers need is some form of counseling. this way they can learn to properly control their urges to do these things. it is about the only way to get this under control. getting them counseling may be a little tougher than you think. the first step in a person getting help is for them to realize that they need help. getting your brothers to realize that they need help is going to be your toughest challenge because they do not think that they have a problem. however, be persistent about how you feel and that they can get help. it may take some time but it may make them realize that they have a problem. then counseling will be more effective for them. when they get into some counseling, do not expect overnight results, there have been some people who have to go through alcoholic recovery 8 times before they finally shake the habit so the best thing for you to do is to be supportive. that more than anything, along with counseling is going to help their success. it is hard i know but there isn't really another option. hang in there, things will improve, you just have to be strong. hope this helps. good luck.
2007-02-10 12:56:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
These two brothers are old enough to be out on their own. Your mom is not helping them grow by enabling them. They will never change their ways if they are allowed to stay at home. Mom needs to move them out. They will soon find that all their drinking and gambling will not pay their rent. Their thinking will change really fast. and mom must not give them any more money. If they already live out side your moms home, then when they come for money she has to say NO. she has to tell them they can not come to her house if they are still drinking and gambling. She loves them but not their actions.
2007-02-10 11:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmm.. your problem is a complicated one.
boys are boys. and most of the times, we can't simply understand them.
the best thing that you should do is talk to them. explain to them that what they're doing are not right. maybe they are into that stuffs because they are jobless. they don't know the value of money. how hard to earn them. help them to find jobs that will catch their attention.
just talk and talk and talk and never give up on them. sooner or later, they will realize that you were right all along.. just don't lose hope!
2007-02-10 11:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by poochini 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i Know that it is hard but try and give them an altermotive{hope i spelt that right}
try to let them know that your on their side ,But try to not push them away at the same time time. I have 2 brothers, 1 has married to a woman who is ten years older than him
and w'eve had a few run ins with her but now she is pregnant with his child and all we can give him is our support
2007-02-10 12:05:43 · answer #5 · answered by tracy f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are adults, get out of their lives. its not about you! They don't need your permission to live, any more then you need their approval. Get over it, and mind your own business. Too many people in this world seem to think that everyone has to live by their rules...well you can't change them, and it isn't your life to order them around. They must learn their lessons as you must learn yours.
2007-02-10 12:01:04 · answer #6 · answered by Boston Bluefish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother got a gambling problem and the only thing you can do is tell him to go to a therapy because it has become an adiction. You can't do further for him
2007-02-10 11:54:52 · answer #7 · answered by C6 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They both need professional help. The action of your mother, understandable as it is, is not really helpful. Its going to make things worst.
I congratulate you for your maturity and concern for your family. But I must emphasize unless you advise them to seek professional help you are going to drain yourself and the family would go deeper and deeper into troubles.
All the best!
2007-02-10 11:57:34 · answer #8 · answered by Ebby 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
children's problem is usually caused during and in the bad relationship beteen the parents. I would carefully make a remark to your parents that some of their problems is a reflection of their parents.
Also, your brothers needs to be reminded that people around them hurts as much as they are hurting themselves. Let the reminder be a painful one, so that they can remember it constantly.
2007-02-10 12:00:40 · answer #9 · answered by dansdna 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
realize that you can never make someone change they will change when they want to, all you can do is just be there for both of them and support them and dont nag at them to change... it will cause friction in you'lls realtionship and that is no good all you can do is love them and be there for them they will change when they want to:)
2007-02-10 13:18:45 · answer #10 · answered by brown_eyedgurl22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋