I met him four yrs ago...I am now studying in another country. We were good friends...I was really comfortable talking to him abt all my insecurities and he was right there when I moved and had problems adjusting etc. And I trust him on that front so his friendship means a lot to me. Five months after we met, he suggested we be more than friends. Suffice it to say, we've been intimate as well. I sent him my photo..not a very good one tho..and he never sent me his. He says he's lazy..and we've fought over it almost everytime...at least we talk about it everytime. I can't get over him...he's the first guy I've allowed myself to be with or trust like this...I have been so cautious of men all my life and I threw all logic out for this person (cos hey, u cant be cautious and still be able to trust someone in a relationship..can u?) and so I find it really difficult to get over this. I also miss the intimacy. also, we are from diff cultures n countries. all comments welcome. thnx
2007-02-10 02:48:51 · 7 answers · asked by maya 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's interesting how you went from trusting no one to trusting someone totally inappropriate. From 0 trust to throwing out all logic. You just traded on unhealthy behavior for the other extreme. It might appear that this particular "guy" isn't your problem; your problem is with your own insecurities and unhealthy extremes.
As for him, he had sex with you, you moved away, he's not interested.
2007-02-10 02:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In answer to your question, you always need to be Cautious in a relationship, with or without trust! I don't think 5 months is long enough to know how the person "ticks" to make things move up to "one more notch", such as living together, THIS soon! Besides, I don't think much of "online" meetings, because people can HIDE their real selves, then you can get let down afterwards.
As for THIS GUY resisting sending you a photo of himself, claiming he's lazy???? and then you both have FOUGHT over this? there is NO sense to this!
He's "playing" you, from what it sounds like to me!
You know, when you said the guy is from a different culture and country, people also have different ways of being raised and totally different ideas from "our world" we're used to!
Anyway, try not to get upset over this situation. Go out and meet a guy at places where you have interests in as well, and chances are, you meet real people when in person instead of through the computer, because online, guys and girls will put their "best foot forward", yet CAN BE the worst person in reality, once you get to know them, so on this one, if you want to go online still, again, be choosy like I told someone else on here!
Best of luck and don't give up!
2007-02-10 11:16:04 · answer #2 · answered by julesrules 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say dont meet him yet. if he is wanting picks of you and not returning the favor.. then there is something wrong.. you talk to him a lot but does he tell you his worries and fantasies and insecurities... i know it seems like he is your only friend.. i went throught the smae thing.. but youve got to understand how EASY and conveinent it is for him to lie to you and use you when you are so far apart...but have intimacies on the computer... wait atlest a few more months before you consider meeting him.. if he is doing this with you.. what is to say.. other than his word.. that he isnt also doing it with others... please be safe and think abou twhat youre doing.. and by sending him pictures.. he could be posting them..and i know you think he is a friend and ywouldnt ever do that because he truely cares.... thats what i thought tooo... please please please stop... and take a step back and look at what youre getting into.. IF you decide to meet... do not meet him at his place.. dont let him come to yours. meet in a widely used public area...even if he insists on privacy... dont ... go to a movie..or the park.. or meet at a restaurant.... your safety is the most important thing and if he TRUELY cares.. he will understand and not perssure you to meet in solitude... otherwise... if this is all fake and a lie.. delte him from your list..and your heart... and move on with soemone who really does care and loves you.. i really hope you work this all out.. and if it is real.. congrats.. but remember... just be safe.. please!!!
2007-02-10 11:00:26 · answer #3 · answered by lil miss agony 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused. you met online, but have never met in person? then how can you be intimate? I'd be afraid of continuing the relationship if he doesn't send a picture. but if you never meet in person, what's the harm? but if you decide to stop talking to him, there will be others. you're not the first for this to happen to and you won't be the last.
2007-02-10 10:56:12 · answer #4 · answered by wendy_da_goodlil_witch 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i met my lady online 7 months ago --- we still have to meet face to face yet i trust her completely --- and by all logic i should not trust her --- i am not deluded i am aware of all the scams around --- and i KNOW that she is honest and a very special person ---- we will meet and we will get married regardless of the cultural differences age differences and any other problems that may occur
2007-02-10 11:02:32 · answer #5 · answered by trader1867 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need more experience in relationships. Rarely do relationships from different cultures work out in the long run. Try dating more people to learn what you really like and dislike in a partner.
2007-02-10 10:55:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think ethnicity matters but u can't b so sure of ppl online these days don't get involved there is many sick ppl!
2007-02-10 10:56:05 · answer #7 · answered by VanessaHudgensLuvva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋