How should i react around my obnoxious mother-in-law?

Question

When she's around me she pretends to like me. But people tell me she says very bad things about me and i believe these rumors because she's always talking about other people's lives. Should I be angry with her or just let it go?

Answer 1

You asked a question so i will give you the answer. LAXATIVES.
Make her a cup of tea with a minimum of 4 fine crushed laxatives in it. It wont kill her BUT it will give her some time to get to know her own S**T. Make sure to stay around shortly after you do this. You wont want to miss this. You could always bring over some new kind of biscuits to have with the tea. Then she wont get suspicious of the tea. She will think it was the biscuits.
Then, next time, make desserts with some laxatives in it. You can also carefully add a laxative inside a sweet!
You've GOTTA try this! 100% results guarnteed and keep a straight face ok. Dont tell youre spouse what you have done.

Answer 2

If she talks equally about everyone, gossiping and being unkind, then I don't think you are going to change her. You have two options, tell her a specific instance in which you say, "Mom, so and so said that you said, ZsbesyX, and I don't know if what she's says is true, but if it were, that really hurts my feelings that you would say something like that, I thought we were friends?" Then see where it goes. If she's reached this age and still acting like this, then she's not likely to change her behavior, and this could blow up to a huge thing and take on a life of it's own. She's not likely to admit to being a mean gossip. On the other hand, maybe no one has ever pointed out how her behavior hurts other's feelings? Your other option is to just let it ride and not worry too much about it. When people say, she said such and such, you could always say in return, "she doesn't mean to talk poorly about me or anyone else, it's just her way of feeling important, we actually have a great relationship." I think that's the way I would chose to handle this situation. Defend her, Talk Nice about her....

Answer 3

You should just let it go. Why should you act ugly to her and give her real things to talk about. It sounds like she is already miserable enough without you helping. If you kill her with kindness, it will drive her mad because she is trying to get you to act out in front of someone else so she will have validation for the things she is telling about you. Don't give her the satisfaction! Just be as nice as you can be. Others will not likely believe her when they see you not acting ugly to her or anyone else and they will soon know her for the obnoxious thing she is. Keep your chin up and see if that helps. Returning evil for evil never works.

Answer 4

How's your relationship with your hubby? What does he think? When she's badmouthing or gossiping about someone else in your presence, don't participate. This speaks volumes for your character. Not to mention 'what goes around comes around.' We all know that 'if a dog takes a bone, he'll bring a bone.' If you have to, let her know how you feel about her bad habit WHILE she's doing it (otherwise she'll deny it). You have to handle this wisely, you've committed to life with your "I do." She'll always be lurking somewhere--holidays, etc. There's no real happy, peaceful, permanent separation--unless you or she has to move far, far away . . . Again, your husband or one of his siblings, or father, is probably the best one to answer this question. They've known/dealt with her the longest.

Answer 5

Oh girl, I've got the SAME problem! Perhaps it's more normal than we ever thought? It bothered me so much I almost left him...instead I told him to make it go away or leave me. She had enlisted his family and his exwife to spread the lies. (Horrible untruths and half truths.) I'm cringing today b/c we have a party to put on for my step son's 18th birthday. This means I have to be around his family. Ugh! I feel very uncomfortable knowing they'll all be talking mean behind my back as soon as they leave. I think some ppl just need someone around to "kick". Makes them feel better. Ignore it. As long as it's only her! If she is able to manipulate ppl like my mil...have your guy talk to his mom about it. Good luck!

Answer 6

If you want to keep the peace then just let it go. If it is really getting to you, then take her aside and politely tell her to stop with the comments. She will probably deny them and it might cause a rift between you and her. Maybe you can just be "not as nice as you could be" to her. Be cool with her, you know. Be polite, but not as friendly as you can. If she asks you what is going on, then explain what you heard and go from there. Good luck-really!

Answer 7

Let it go. Unless she says something to you directly, do not react. Anyone who tells you that she says this and that about you, you can just smile sweetly and say, "Believe it if you think it is right. She has been sweet to me though." and dismiss the talk. People can draw their own conclusions and you do not need be disturbed about it. But be carefult not to trust her with some secret of yours.

Answer 8

Let it go and act the same way towards her that she acts towards you. If it's true that she's a gossip, people will see right through her. Don't stoop to her level & never give her any info that she could use against you.
P.S. Don't listen to rumors, just stop them cold.

Answer 9

SOunds like she talks about everyone, not just you, and those kinds of poeple never chnge. Limit copntact with her but be nice. Don't let it interfere with your marriage. Talk to your spouse about your feelings and the things others have told you that she has said. If she says something to you personally then attack it head on.

Answer 10

Sounds like she will never change her ways, and will always do this about you.

The question you should really ask yourself is whether you want to invest yourself in a pointless battle, butting your head against a wall, draining the life out of you.

Seems to me the most sensible thing is to just let it go.