am i selfish for doing this?

Question

yesterday i asked my mom to go get my movie (well a friends movie i was supposed to watch it before i gave it back long different story) from a friends house and then my sister asked my mom to go and get pop sicles so my mom goes and gets pop sicles. and my mom totally just starts ignoring me and im like thats so not fair and i start crying (im only 13 and im going threw emotional stuff) and like my mom came in and started yelling at me for crying and she said "i do everything for you and i do one thing for your sister, the world doesnt revolve around you" and me being who i am asks " really? whayt have you done for me?" then she names 2 things (which was take me to a school concert which i was in so i had to go so i didnt fail) and like yea so im i like being selfish?

my friend doesnt go to the same school, her mom doesnt live with her and at the time her dad was at work and her houssse is to far to walk, especially because its only 2 degrees out side, and i asked my mom to go because im sick and i didnt want her to get sick

i am nice i cook my own food (im a vegitarian and she doesnt understand no matter how many times i explain it) i am like a slave or something at the time she was sitting there playing the computer, i do my own laundry i do the dishes and everything and ive been doing these things since i was 11 everyday, and my sister is 11 and she does nothing,,,,, my sister will yell or break something and my mom will blame me, she doesnt ask what happened or anything she just yells "Tori finish your chores and go to your room!" and i cant even tell her what happened

everyone thinks that im being rude or whatever but she is always like that, everysingle day, all the time. but people say treat others like you would like to be treated, she treats me like crap and i ask her to get one thing for me and she goes crazy

Answer 1

yes i think you are but teens are always selfish. give your mom a thank you now and then. she loves her kids and tries to be equal in the stuff she tries to do for everyone. she's only one person and is trying to do her best. give your mom a hug and tell her thank you. if she asks what for... tell her --- for being your mom.

Answer 2

Yes, dear, you're being selfish. Learning the balance between selfishness (which is sometimes appropriate) and unselfishness, is an important task of adolesence, a big part happening in the next 10 years. It is accomplished in baby steps and doesn't end when you hit 20, any numerical age, fall in love, or get married. You work at it, or it grows on you, you have little bursts of insight...., it's a lifetime of learning in little and big ways. You've had only a few years of learning and now you're really aware of learning it.

There are benefits, as you will discover. Try giving your mother a hug and a thank you, and feel her muscles relax and hear her sigh. It'll make you feel good. Remember, your mom never raised 2 teen girls before. She's learning as she goes along and is doing the best she can, with frustration creeping in naturally!

It's an uneven journey. May your challenges always leave you a little bit wiser. More compassionate towards yourself and others.

As an aside, often, but not always, becoming a parent yourself kicks a great deal of selfishness out of you, but DO NOT go there too soon.

Answer 3

I am the middle child in my family. I have an older sister (3 yrs older) and a younger brother(10 yrs younger). My sister and I talk about how my little brother has had a completely different upbringing than we had. We had to clean the house, do the laundry, cook meals, etc, from the time I was about 8 yrs old and it was expected or I got in trouble. My little brother is a slob and doesn't have to do a thing. He gets away with everything and my sis & I got away with nothing. Just try to remember that your parents love you all equally but handles each situation separately. Each childs personality plays into this also. Be grateful that you have your parents and that they do care for you and love you. Think about all the things she has done for you throughout your life, not just this week. So many kids grow up without their Mom being there for them. You will look at all of this differently in a few years. Don't take things so personally!

Answer 4

You are only 13, what I am going to say will not soak in for many years to come, but I am going to say it anyway. Its hard to know how to address the above situation because I was not there and I would need more details. But that little fight is not important. What I want to address is how you ARE in an emotional time of your life, you are growing and changing. You can't see it now, but don't ever question what your mother has done for you. When she says she has done everything for you-she has. Some of those things are not even listable. Hello, she gave you life, she takes care of you. She is your mom. You don't appreciate her yet, but someday you will. Just think of it this way-what would you do, how would you feel, if tomorrow your mom was gone? I grew up in a big family, we we poor then and life was horrible. My mom did the best she could with what we had. I was rebelious like you too. But now I understand. Remember, you only get one mom.

Answer 5

Your relationship with your Mom is a give and take relationship. You have to do things for her too, like be good, be polite and not be so selfish. Think about this-your Mom does a lot for you. You have a place to live, food to eat, clean clothes, etc. Instead of crying you could of said, "hey Mom, please don't forget my movie, I love you Mom, thanks" But you had to blow it all out of proportion but carrying on crying. The world doesn't revolve around anybody. If you want nice things done for you, you have to do them for other people. 13 is a tough age. You will be fine. Promise. Just be nice and appreciate other things every once in a while.

Answer 6

Yes. Your mom does not exist to drive you to and from your school activities, whether they are required activities or not. You should be appreciative of these things she does for you.

On the other hand, it wouldn't hurt to communicate your hurt feelings to your mother in a calm, mature manner. Tell her your feelings were hurt that she refused to get your movie but she got your sister's popsicles, and then ask her why she made that decision. Perhaps there was a good reason - such as, the popsicles were around the corner but your friend's house was a lot further away. Your mom might be impressed by your maturity and this could open the lines for better communication - in lieu of crying tantrums and fights.

Answer 7

Yes you are. I don't know many kids your age who aren't selfish, and we know how TV does not help the subject. It sounds like mom is the slave in the house, does it without complaining, until it gets too much, then she becomes hurtful and explodes. Maybe you need to at least try and do things for her without being asked. Speak kindly and see what will happen. It's not always about you or me. You're a sweet kid, I can tell, because this does bother you. You're trying to figure it out. That's great. I realize hormones are working their trick on you, ignore them the best you can and take control over your life.

Answer 8

I was 13 once & I remember when the world was centerd around me too. Tough ages 13-15. Try to put yourself in your mom's place once in awhile, of course I know it's hard because you're young and never experienced being a mother yourself. But believe me, your mom loves you and your siblings more than you could possibly imagine until you have a child of your own. But she's human like everyone else and prone to make mistakes as well. Give her a hug, say I'm sorry mom, I love you, once in awhile. My daughter always did that to me when she was growing up & we had disagreements, and it always made my day. She's a mom too now, and I love her more than ever. That kind of love has no bounds.

Answer 9

So, she didn't mention taking care of you when you are sick? Did she mention doing your laundry or worrying about where you are when you aren't home? Think back, I bet you can find many times your Mom went out of her way for you. One little incident is no reason to act like a 4 year old.

Answer 10

No, your not being selfish.But at the same time what do you think your mom should have done?She has more than one person to take care of and you are old enough to realize that.Just always remember,don't ask more from someone else than you yourself are willing to give.