2007-02-10 01:21:30 · 16 answers · asked by roxynautica 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We are both 33 and are not your average couple. We have had a crazy sex life for five years now. We have already had him watch me with another woman and I loved it because it turned him on. I love to turn my love on, I get aroused. Maybe we're just a little bit off from the norm and very, very comfortable with our sexuality and also extremely secure.
2007-02-10 01:36:03 · update #1
I think that many women do not give in to many of their own fantasies. I talked two of my best friends into buying dildos at 28 yrs old. They felt that it was dirty until we discussed it.
2007-02-10 01:38:11 · update #2
because you question it, it will. You are obviously not as in to it as he is.
2007-02-10 01:24:37 · answer #1 · answered by The Don 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think it would ruin the relationship. I mean if you really love one another than why turn to some one else? Also how old are the two of you? I mean I guess some people do the swinging thing and it works for them but I could never do that with my man cause he and don't like to share one another. I mean either you or him could get jealous not to mention you both could catch an std messing with people you don't know. I would just be careful with whatever you decide to do and do what is right for you not just what your man wants. Good luck with whatever you decide!
2007-02-10 01:26:43 · answer #2 · answered by poetryprincess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I didn't really see any decent answers, so I'll add my 2 cents. "Will it ruin our relationship?"... Well, none of us can answer that as everyones experience and opinions are different. Ultimately it is up to the both of you as to *IF* it will ruin your relationship. Theres a lot to consider.
First, consider the image of the both of you with another person (this is assuming your interests lie in swapping)? Most guys have the double standard of wanting to be with other women yet not allow their women to be with someone else. If this issue is NOT addressed prior to doing so, yes, it will cause a lot of problems. The same in reverse.
Second, consider all that you are about to partake in.. Wheres the limit? Swapping, dp's, 3-somes, 4-somes, group sex, where is the line drawn?
Third, what is allowed and what is not?
Fourth, have very CLEAR and precise rules. One of which would be "no swinging without the other person knowing". I see a lot of "couples" out here where it's the male half wanting to have "fun" behind their ladies backs.
Fifth, COMMUNICATION. I CANNOT stress this enough. Talk and talk and talk and talk until every possible situation is addressed and everybody knows the rules and limitations. Consider things like "what if one of us falls for someone else", "safe sex vs not", do you guys want another couple/person for an exclusive thing or are you both open to random partners, hygiene, minimum requirements for potential partners, when/where will you find partners? Theres a lot to consider and talk about. The better prepared you are the more likely you both are to succeed in swinging.
Sixth, consider WHY you both want to swing? Is it because you want to spice up your sex life? Is it because you think he'll like it? Is it because he's been pushing to be with another women and you want to please him? Find out the reason why and REALLY think about if this is the right move. For example, if your sexual relationship is lacking and you get into swinging, theres a good chance he'll (or you) will find the right sex partner in someone else and choose to lose you. I have been to swing clubs (my girlfriend and I like to go) and I cannot tell you how many women I've seen break into tears after finishing the deed with another man. Why do they? Because they are not in it for fun, they are in it to please their man and it's just wrong.
Seven, can you both separate the intimate/emotional aspect of sex and just pure casual sex (sex for fun)? If either of you believe that sex is to be something shared between two romantically involved people, than swinging subconsciously is cheating and whoever will respond that way.. leading to the demise of your relationship.
Eight, can you keep it hidden from family and friends? You would be surprised at how many people think swinging is a dirty and evil thing (mainly closed-minded people who are pro-monogamy). Swinging will be a private thing you both do and hide from your normal life (unless you have the "I don't give a f__k attitude").
There are many reasons why someone would want to swing. The best reasons are a pure desire to enjoy sex in all its forms. Swinging is not a "band-aid" or a magic fix for a relationship or the problems therein.
Just some things to think about :)
OH YEAH, lastly... you have to forget what people tell you and make the decision's for yourself... Notice I did not say "do it" or "don't do it".. I know from personal experience that this is a decision the two of you will make together and you simply cannot say "Well, so-and-so on yahoo answers said we should, so let's do it".
2007-02-10 02:03:41 · answer #3 · answered by Vincent C 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
At some point, one of you will love more than the other, and yes, allowing for an open relationship WILL cause heartache on one end. Ask yourself this: Am I teaching others how to treat me?
In the event that the answer is yes, I would watch out for what you ar construing to be a relationship for the median of open intimacy....I would be careful of that were I you. I'm monogamous and it will remain that way. i speak for no one other than myself and my own partner. I wouldn't have it any other way.
2007-02-10 01:27:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most likely unless you are both are willing to accept and live with the fact that there may end up being jealousy issues and possible STDs. I think that this is a road better off not taken.
2007-02-10 01:27:03 · answer #5 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U need to think about this one girl. If your both not into it YES it will ruin things. IF U choose to do it my advise would be do it now before U choose to say I DO.
2007-02-10 01:28:53 · answer #6 · answered by browneyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you the jealous type? is you bf jealous? you two need to think it out, how are you going to feel when he's "doing" that other person? how's he gonna react when you are doing the deed with the other person? no one knows but you two how it's gonna go. best of luck to ya
2007-02-10 01:25:54 · answer #7 · answered by Carrie H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide,swinging is great for the right people.
2007-02-10 03:35:09 · answer #8 · answered by C E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys wants to do it, then you should. It might spice up the relationship even more.
2007-02-10 01:27:31 · answer #9 · answered by chardonnayormerlot 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you both are into that go ahead.
Free love!
2007-02-10 01:24:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know what swinging is, but if it's any kind of affair, big NO-NO.
2007-02-10 01:24:39 · answer #11 · answered by serenityfan76 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋