Why do people care what we do with our own children when it comes to spanking?

Question

I choose not to spank my children. The discipline technique I'm using now is working just fine. I answered a question last night where I answered that I will do what's best for MY children but for others I'm sure their parents will do what's best for their own. I was slammed.

Why is it so black and white to spanking parents when it comes to determining what other parents should do?

Why do some people who choose to spank their children think it's horrible if another parent doesn't?

I have seen many spanking parents come on here and rant about the laws in California telling them what to do yet they are going to criticize and tell a non-spanking parent what to do. I just don't get it!

What give any parent a right to tell another what to do with their children?

kast--"Why would you feel as though it would be even remotely acceptable that the state you live in dictate how you raise your child?
HOW would you feel if I told you that you HAD to use spanking as a form of discipline? Hello??"

That is what I'm saying. I'm not saying that parents should not be able to spank. I'm not saying they don't have a right to an opinion on the subject. The thing is: the same parents who are against the ban of spanking in California are the same ones who are totally against NOT spanking a child.

It's either one way or another with people. The point I'm trying to make is: NOT to spank or NOT to NOT spank but merely for us all to do what's best for our own children.

I get sick of this back and forth. I wish we'd all accept that children are different hence different discipline.

Answer 1

No parent has the right to tell another parent how to bring up their children. But we do have the right to interfere if we suspect child abuse.

Parents who were spanked as children tend to spank their children.

Parents who weren't spanked don't use spanking.

I like spanking as a last resort only..

Answer 2

I think its the parents choose on how to discipline their children. I mean spanking is fine, but some parents use it to the extreme and hit their children with objects, or all over their body, face, back of head etc. So I think when they put up the "no spanking" ban, it was great. Stops parents from hitting their children in public at least. But what parents do behind closed doors is a mystery. So many children are abused, and if this ban helps in some way, then so be it. But parents should not compare how they discipline their children, what works for some children may not work for others. So whether you agree to spanking or not, then so be it. I mean I choose not to breast feed, and wow what a reaction I got from people because of it. I use the time out chair, wow what a reaction I get from parents that think the Time Out technique is useless. Everyone has their own opinions, and nobody should be slammed because of it.

Answer 3

If spanking isn't mechanically used as punishment, yet a very hardly ever utilized take-heed call, i imagine that is proper. the purpose must be to get a newborn's interest, no longer vent a make certain's non everlasting anger or frustration. What else does anybody advise if a small newborn is ignoring "no, end", about to do some thing risky or risky, and almost bold mom or dad to do some thing about it? One speedy whack on the bottom reinforces that the habit can not be tolerated. The idea that it teaches violence is nonsense. the problem with spanking, besides the undeniable fact that, is that it may quite be overdone, because that is continually resorted to in the nice and cozy temperature of the instantaneous. And, for sure, if a newborn receives a swat on a daily basis, then its effectiveness is carefully lost. So for most mom and father it is a highly effective line to stroll. i wager i'd quite see no spanking (yet useful and consistent self-discipline in the different case!), than whalloping a newborn on the drop of a hat. once you get right down to it, recurring spanking quantities to lazy parenting.

Answer 4

No parent has the right to tell another parent how to discipline their children. I personally was spank growing up and I use spanking as a last resort. I use other methods of disciplining my child and when it comes to spanking is because what I use it's working. For parents who chose not to spank it's their business. A parent will do what is best for their children. Don't worry what anybody says.

I do want to mention again I was spank growing up and I don't abuse my child or never though of hitting or killing another human being. Yes it's wrong to abuse a child and that when I agree other people stepping in.

Answer 5

While this will not apply to all folks, I will give my best theory for the average "anti-not-spanker", as it were.

1) Spanks their child.

2) Does not feel they are being abusive to their child.

3) Feels that they "need" to spank their child.

4) Sees someone who does not spank their child.

5) Can either accept that some people do not need to spank their child, or assume that other child needs spanked too.

6a) If the other people don't need to spank their child, will feel defensive about spanking own child.

6b) If the other child does need spanked but other people are just neglecting their duty can go on the offensive about what the other person is doing wrong.

7) finds it easier to attack someone than defend themselves.

I don't know if there is a name for this path, but I've seen it in responses to vegitarians, teetotalers, atheists, celibates, natural birthers here, and just about anyone else who does without something that the majority cannot or will not. So, just accept that it will come.

Answer 6

Well, most people find that if you spank your child it's like hurting them. But those people don't stop to think that if your not spanking your child that hard to where it doesn't leave a mark and you also have good reason to do it then that's one thing. But there are some parents out there who just not only spank but also hit their kids for no reason at all so I guess when some one sees another person spanking their kids for a reason then the first thing that comes to their mind is child abuse.

Answer 7

The problem is most people don't understand the difference between abuse and discipline.

Just as Angelo stated above he/she automatically assumes that spanking is abuse.

The problem in today's society seems to be the lack of discipline. Far too many children seem to be in charge of the household instead of the parents. Children seem to get anything they want and even hold discipline over their parents head. Children even threaten their parents that they will be reported for disciplining them.

This is the reason why we have 10 and 12-year-old children getting pregnant, selling drugs or involved in all sorts of other behavior that would have not been tolerated years ago.

If more people today would actually discipline their children than let them run the family we would all be in better shape.

The liberal ideology is slowly but surely destroying the family.

Answer 8

Personally, I use to think that way but I longer bother to get offended when advice comes my way. The reason if more people really did speak and get involved maybe less child abuse would exist. The reason I say that is I know I am not the greatest parent but I also know I am not and will never be the worst. I welcome each and every bit of feedback because at least that person spoke out and I applaud them. I think now the way times are going stronger laws need to exist where child abuse comes into play. (example: Recently in the news a child's parent her father knocked her unconscious because she refused to go bed and wrapped her in a blanket and threw her outside where she died of hypothermia. Surely with all the help available this man could have called someone and got some help before he murdered his barely two year old daughter.( I rather be accused and innocent than accused and quilty. and I will not speak against a person that talks to me cause I know that means help is always out there if we seek it and are open to get it.) I think it is time abuser's stop standing amoung us descent parents.

Answer 9

I'm the mother of four boys ages 16, 13, 11 and 5 years old. I'm not against spanking when needed, but we have implemented a punishment in our house that's more effective than that. It is an exercise which gym teachers, coaches, physical therapists, etc... use. We call it the "Chair of Air", or more commonly known as "Wall Sits". They're getting exercise at the same time they're thinking about what they did wrong. Out of curiosity, I asked my oldest son one time, which one would he rather receive. He said he would pick the spanking over the chair of air.

Answer 10

To each their own but spanking does give children some kind of discipline to look foward to if they know they have done wrong. Alot of children will refrain from doing a no-no because they know the consequence. About that California law, California will have alot more and younger gang bangers, thiefs, graffiti offenders and so forth because of this but California is corrupt anyway! Congratulations on giving birth to children who will listen to you even without the spankings!