Daughter does h.w. w/o asking, she is 17 and graduating..she gets more liberty..son, who is 14, I have to nag about h.w. doesn't understand why he doesn't have same liberties. Then 11 yr old wants to know why he can't stay up as late. I have explained until I am blue in the face. Any suggestions?
2007-02-10 00:17:22 · 13 answers · asked by terilynne3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you said you have explained it to them. trust me...they get it.
they must see that it gets to you when they keep pestering you about the same issues.its a parent/ kid control thing. YOU are the parent...you have done the best you can do by explaining your position( a good one), and ..nuff said.
we have a job as parents...and the funny thing is...they too have a job...to assert themselves and find thier place. sometimes that means testing mom and dad to see how far they can go. yes, teens will be stinkers that way. see it for what it is, put your foot down, and move on. dont let it eat you up inside.( you will not be hurting thier pcyhe's i promise_ they will be fine...and they NEED you to be the mom and assert yourself)
all the best.
2007-02-10 00:30:19 · answer #1 · answered by dali333 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're the mom--final voice of authority. You've explained, now move on. They are simply trying to wear you down to make you buckle. You're a good mother who knows what's best in the long run. When they're older, they'll all appreciate your advice much, much more. Discussions of who's "favorite" will then become funny remembrances. I have four: 28, 25, 17, 15. The two oldest are married with children and call often (daily!) for advice and chuckles. The 17 yr old is in college 1500 miles away and calls daily for the same. The 15 year old is the last left in the home and is getting all the attention she will ever need (and she has expressed the same inability to "understand" my philosophy). It's all worth it when they become parents themselves and more your friends, confidants, champions, etc. The grandchildren get anything they want, so you then get to chill out! No more blue face! LOL
2007-02-10 00:30:49 · answer #2 · answered by JazzyJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot treat the girls differently, that would be extremely cruel. Your 16 year old is going through a very difficult stage of her life and needs your patience and understanding, not retribution! How do you think it will help by treating the younger one as the 'favourite' at this time of year? Have you no idea how much this would hurt your older daughter, although she might not let it show? You just might be on the receiving end of more bad behaviour if you do this. Also, it could lead to her resenting her younger sister, THEN what will you do! Treat her equally and wait until this phase passes. Poor kid, she probably doesn't fully understand herself why she is playing up, none of us did at that age, and the world is a whole different place now!
2016-05-24 23:16:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it sounds like you jave tried your best to explain so now it has to be "because those are the rules of the house". At some point you just have to tell them that with different ages come new responsibilities and liberties. Each age comes with both. They know what you are talking about but they just don't like it. You are the Mom and your rules should be followed. Always be sure to tell your kids how much you love them each individually and have their best interest at heart. If they don't get it now, they will remember your words as they grow up and they will mean alot to them.
2007-02-10 00:37:18 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because in kids eyes they are suppose to be treated the same, they do not understand life right now. Your job is to make them understand?
Just simply say because i said so, explaining your self is not always necessary, when it comes to rule making. And this is a good example of how kids get over on parents the guilt trip,,, do not fall for it, it is a trap and you will never win again.
2007-02-10 00:29:36 · answer #5 · answered by chocolate 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do they get ANY freedom? Maybe you would have to stop nagging your son about his homework if you gave him a bit of freedom during the weekend? Your 11 yr. old should understand also that they may stay up an hour or so past bedtime on Friday and Saturday. Give them a little more freedom without spoiling them.
2007-02-10 00:23:07 · answer #6 · answered by lbgymnast520 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
cause parents owe their children an explanation why so. my parents were like that and it hurts that they were giving more attention to my younger sisters but my mom always explains that, our younger sisters need more guidance cause they are just starting to discover the world.
explain to them that they were being treated differently cause you need to do that. for example, your daughter is responsible in doing her h.w so you can let her in her own when it comes to that. your son is a little immature so you need to give more time in helping him doing his h.w while your youngest son can't stay up late and you need to explain to him why. give him a curfew. like, he can watch his fave show until 10 pm and after that he's off to bed. you can also suggest to your daughter to help her brothers if she has time.
well, my mom and dad see to it that once in awhile, we spend time together. watching scary movies at night with popcorn and softdrinks sounds great! bonding makes family tighter and during these times, you're able to give your children quality time to all of them at the same time. isn't it great?
2007-02-10 01:16:58 · answer #7 · answered by poochini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are different privileges associated with each age group and some children are not as mature as others. You have to make the decision as a good parent on what is right for your children.
2007-02-10 02:09:09 · answer #8 · answered by zzum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell them are all different ages and deserve 2 be trested differerntly like say well so&so didnt go 2 bed at midnight at ur age and niether r u my mom does that to me and my sister all the time
2007-02-10 00:22:43 · answer #9 · answered by mdmel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give your sons a heart to heart talk, on the issues between you two. give them the reasons why you cannot let them do certain things and why the girl gets to do so. boys are like that, they never change until they've realised something important to them
2007-02-10 00:23:03 · answer #10 · answered by Soaring 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋