why do people do backbiting?

Question

a classmate of mine has told nonsence to my other frends as a result no one is now talking to me. only the boys in my class know the reality. when i go to my peer group they change the topic of discussin and start making fun of me. i really feel depressed at times. i know who is the culprit. but i fail to understand that if she is doing all this why does she behave sweetlt infront of me? what should i do to get my "lost" friends back! help!

Answer 1

Be tough and tell them to grow up.If they don't respect you enough to stop,well then they are not your friends anyway.Don't let them ruin your day!

Answer 2

People are cruel. Especially younger people because they don't have the awareness or understanding of the consequences their actions have. Some get enjoyment out of making others suffer. These people often have problems of their own and making others suffer makes them feel better about their own issues. Fighting back is probably what they want, to add fuel to the fire. The best you can do is ignore it. They'll get bored and go on to someone else. It helps to have one or two good friends that will stick by you and help you tough it out. Unfortunately I don't know if there is an easy fix for it outside of something radical that would land yourself in jail. I've been through it and made it ok. But it was tough. "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Regarding your "lost" friends... if they gave you up that easily, then they didn't really know you very well and weren't worth having as friends in the first place. Does that make sense? But if you're desperate, you can try to talk things through and see if that works.

Answer 3

Oh -- school days. It's hard to realize who your friends really are. It sounds like if the boys are the ones who are smart enough not to listen to the gossip, perhaps they're the ones you should want to hang around with.

The answer to the question about why the girl does this is because she feels insecure, and she wants to be popular and get more friends by doing things like this. It's quite sad, actually. I feel bad for her. But believe me, I've been in your position, and things really will get better. Either things will change and your friend group will return, or when you go to a new school year or a new school, you'll be able to choose a different group of friends.

Answer 4

You have to talk to all your friends and explain your side of the story. But be careful to do this individually, one by one. Talk to your closest friends first and get their support as you talk to the others. Talk to the girl who spread the rumour only after everyone knows the truth or else she will retaliate thinking you are calling her a liar. Ask the others not to discuss the matter with her too. Don't talk to people who you know will side with her regarding this matter. After everyone knows the truth, you should ask the back biter to apologise before accepting her back as a friend.

Answer 5

Hai my dear friend,
I think mostly everyone would have faced such problems when they were in school and me too....
The only solution to your problem is call your frds and talk to them frankly....explain to them your real character..by now atleast u should have spoken to that girl who has spread bad news about you....
All the best and dont delay in talking to everyone and tell them how u feel hurt when they make fun of you and stop talking on seeing your pesence...
Dont get disturbed further on this matter,so find the solution soon and concentrate on your studies....

Answer 6

Ignore this present upheaval. Continue to be your usual good self. surely you can do without the type of peer group you are referring to. They are loser, find yourself another better group.

If you are good and honest. Truth shall prevail and the back biter will be exposed.

Answer 7

that is a habitual problem with some people.....now that you have found the person who has done it, just try leave being nice to her as before.....treath her just as a classmate not as a friend,,,,,and about your other friends, try to stay cool, and dont any more struggle to prove your inocence to them......just concentrate on your studies and make new friends.....your friends will soon get to know what the truth is and they will come back to you themselves.

Answer 8

this happens many times. people usually do this out of jealousy or to show themselves one up against you. and about your "lost friends". if they really cared about you they would have given you a chance to speak and justify yourself before they listened to that girls nonsense. it shows they don't care about you as much as you care about them. don't go near them for a few days it will just depress you. move away and just continue being yourself. you said the boys know the truth, so interact with the boys for sometime and stay away from your lost friends....just see after all this dies down they will come to you. or if they don't come go to them and then explain the situation to them after all this dies down

Answer 9

they want what you have & don't want to work for it, be it stuff,personaly,friends,etc.your peer group are jerks ( friends thier not ) a friend (real friend ) may not condone what you do,should tell you if it is wrong,help you change,but not condim you. so i would say you should kick the dust from you sandles,move on i know its hard but look its thier loss may God bless

Answer 10

Because we are cowardly immature.
We judge other people because we are immature, we wrongly think that we are better than other people.
And because we are coward, we make judgement behind the backs of other pepole.
The solution is to learn much more to become mature.

Answer 11

This has happened to me alot of times.
I used to get soooo upset but then one day my mother told me just to ignore them.
So I did after 2 weeks they came running back to me begging me to forgive them!
Just ignore everything they say and it'll work out!
(oh and people backbite because they are usually jealous)
BYE!!
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Take Care!