So, I was visiting a relative (i was 18 at the time and I just got out of highschool) in another state, and I had been there for maybe two weeks. I met the neighbors, mainly because they had really cute puppies that just happened to wander into the yard, my Aunt introduced me to them, and they seemed very nice. They were a nice middle-aged couple that had been in the area for a few years, and apparently they had known my aunt for quite awhile.
So we were making small talk, and high-school got brought up, and college... etc...
And to my horror, the neighbor asked my parents (while I was there) if I was pregnant. They also asked me how many grandkids I was going to give them.
Now, I'm not chubby or fat in anyway.. I'm pretty slim, you can see my hip-bones and whatever.. you can clearly tell I'm not visably pregnant.
This upset me for many reasons, 1.) I'm only 18, 2.) I have a medical condition and I may not be able to have any children, and I'm kinda sensitive about it.. because I love kids, but at the same time being around them makes me a little sad inside.
Is this normal behavior? Is this proper etiquette? Why would anyone ask this??
2007-02-09 20:46:47 · 8 answers · asked by Rae-Rae Nikkoles <3 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
And no, they didn't know about my condition, and I wasn't expecting them to know.. it just seems a rather rude question to ask anyone...
2007-02-09 20:48:01 · update #1
As you get older (I am 44) and have more to do with older people you realize that as people get older they seem to say silly things. You have to learn not to let anything an older person says to you get to you. They really don't mean it even though it can be hurtful.
I remember when I was about your age I was at the time working for my parents and I have a sister who at the time was short petite and with a slim waist and big boobs. I was the hard worker with a figure like an ironing board and no boobs. I overheard my mother telling one of the delivery men that she had two daughters, the one the guy knew and another daughter who had done some modelling. She said that I was the homely one. It hurt and still does when I think about it. But by the time I was 25 things started to change and my sister is now very fat and I get mistaken for someone much younger.
What I am trying to say is, that people say hurtful things at times and I know my mother never meant to hurt me, but she did. You just have to push it aside as it was said by someone who is either misinformed or just has a run away mouth.
You will do wonderful things in your life so don't let what someone said to you hurt, as you say you are slim and are only 18. Some things may not be as you would want them but you have much to look forward to.
2007-02-09 20:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just so much stuck in the traditional family thing, they can't understand anyone would not get married & have lots of children & already have it all planned out if not started by your age... I'm single by choice and while most people nowadays don't think that's weird anymore, there are one or two (all traditional, small-town people I must add) who ask me if I 'have found anyone yet' every time they see me. I don't really mind, it's their narrow mind that can't encompass another lifestyle, not mine.
2007-02-10 12:00:30 · answer #2 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I were asked this question over and over by folks in their 50-60's when we first got married and since I am unable to become pregnant, we just said, "As many as God deems necessary, but we're not in any hurry." I'm in my 40's now and I find myself wondering if my friends' married kids are going to have kids soon... Don't be sensitive about the possibility of actually giving birth to your kids when you decide to have them, if you are meant to, you will. My husband and I have 4 wonderful kids we adopted. If someone asks you this, just say, "Hmm, I don't know, I've not thought about it." No harm is meant when people ask you that, we just all love babies and like to see little pregnant women waddling around.
2007-02-10 05:39:48 · answer #3 · answered by ihave5katz 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No this is not a normal question at all even if you were 30 people with repect DO NOT ASK that kind of question. They can ask if you like kids and things not those questions!!
2007-02-10 05:25:34 · answer #4 · answered by anne-lucie b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
relax,,, i doubt anyone was implying that you are a lard ***... when i was your age adults used to ask the same kind of questions pertaining to kids and grand kids too.... my mom used to say she never wanted to be a grandma and to this day she still isn't... lol... about your medical condition,,, i don't know what to say.... you may be real happy some day that you could not have to deal with the pain of child birth.... who knows... just be happy you are alive and healthy....
2007-02-10 04:55:24 · answer #5 · answered by rock n roll all night.. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow i think its quiet rude
i mean damn
dont worry about them
some people can be very ignorant
even if you cant have kids its okay, adopting kids can feel exactly the same as having one
but yeah those guys are rude, next time throw eggs at them
2007-02-10 04:55:58 · answer #6 · answered by KK Jones 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not normal but some people have no sense of propriety.
And if you point out to those people they are out of line, they scream blue murder and turn the tables against you. It is better to ignore them.
2007-02-10 04:53:42 · answer #7 · answered by Imogen Sue 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO ITS JUST CURIOUS PEOPLE THAT THINK ALL WOMAN SHOULD HAVE BABIES OR THEY ARE NOT NORMAL THEY DID THAT TO ME FOR YEARS I FIND IT INSENSITIVE AND IMPOLITE AS YOU DO AND NO I DECIDED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN MYSELF AND THATS MY BUSINESS AND THAT IS MY CHOICE AND WITH TIME IT WILL GO OVER YOUR HEADLIKE IT DID TO ME AND YOU WONT CARE ANY MOORE WHAT PEOPLE THINK
2007-02-10 04:55:03 · answer #8 · answered by lorie v 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋