why do kids of any age never do what you ask them?????

Question

kids of any age...i have a 7 year old and a 14 year old ...they both dont do what i ask them ...even if i say that i will take somthing of theres away that they like ....they still dont listen ..

by the way im a single parent so cant say hang on till your dad gets home....i have had this for the last 7 years......

zulu boy...

you try bring two kids up on your own!!!!

i have been told that im doing a better job than a lot of 2 parent familys.......

i only asked WHY DO KIDS NEVER DO WHAT YOU ASK!!!!

greenee.....i have tryed that before.....i have given them money...taken them out.....i have tryed it all......and nothing works....

i do ask my kids in a nice way.....i dont talk down to them i know what i want them to do .....

im also a m.t.a (meal time assistant ) dinner lady at my sons school ...so i think i know how to talk to kids.........dont tell me that im not talking to them properly!!!!!!

Answer 1

I think most children go through this, the 14 year old should understand that you have a lot on your plate and you should be able to get him or her to help without resrting to bribery etc. The 7 year old may need a reward system etc.
How about sitting them down and having a chat ( buy a pizza etc ) and explaining that you don't like nagging them to do things and threatening them and how life would be much easier and happier all round if they all pulled their weight.

Then set somekind of rota up to show them what needs doing by whom and when.

if they don't do what is asked don't nag just remember it next time they need a lift somewhere or need money for somehting, that way they will learn that it works both ways.

Good luck

Answer 2

It's a never-ending cycle. I doubt that there is/was a kid on this planet that listened to their parents 100% of the time. Besides, at those ages, their main focus is supposed to be school. Who wants to listen to the teachers all day and listen some more when they get home? It's like a job. No one likes to work all day just to come home to do more.

If you say you're gonna take something away, do it. Don't continually use it and never put it into action. They'll remember that and use it to their advantage and push your buttons.

Negotiate! Strike deals with them. Start off small, like if they finish their homework before a certain time, they can watch an extra half hour of TV or play video games. Or if they do all their chores for the day, they can go to bed later. Pull out big rewards for big accomplishments, like favorite desserts or an outing for an A on a test.

Switch roles. Have them be the adults and take care of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and everything else that they can appropriately do.

Hang out with them. Rent a movie after they've helped with the laundry. Take them for ice cream after they clean their rooms.

Be creative. Don't just yell and yell at them. Think of other ways to involve them and have them help out without having it seem like their helping out. =)

Answer 3

First of all do not feel like you are a total failure. The job you have is the hardest in the world and without being a control nut you know your kids have their own individual ideas of how to get what they want.
Always stick to your guns. If you say you are going to ground them or take away their electronics and toys then do so. I also find that kids just love to say well my friends mom let's him so blah blah blah. Ground them from friends if necessary and let them know that it does not matter what their friends mom's say they can do. The only thing that matters is what is going on in their own lives.
Make sure that you find the time to have conversations with kids too. Take them for walks and see what they say to you while they are walking. I always found a good walk would open doors to what they might not be saying in the presence of others and sometimes it was what was affecting their attitudes.
Last, remember there is no one set of rules to raising a kid. As you know each one is different and unique so go with what works and inspires them to grow in the right direction.

Answer 4

I have 4 children, had 2 by the age of 20 and 2 between 36 and 40, eldest is 34 and youngest 13 and they all think I am a push over so I,m probably not the right person to answer but one thing I do know is that they are born smart. They know exactly how to push your buttons and wind you up. How about you tell them that you are taking a day off from being a parent and everything that it involves, that means all the things they like about you being their mum and all the things they dont. Just take it easy , make sure there is plenty of food that they can get to and that they are safe and go on strike,dont answer their question sort out there arguments or problems tell them to get back to you tomorrow when you will resume being their mum again. Enjoy

Answer 5

My kids have just tied ed their room and folded up their clothes. I gave them a pound each for doing it. They are 8 and 10 year girls. I have to keep on at them a bit but a small payment of some sort usually works. Now they're back in front of the T.V. Some times I use the promise of taking them out to park or McDonald's etc. I think a little payment also helps them to understand money and work. My wife their Mother is disabled and cannot do anything.

Answer 6

They do... if you discipline them right their whole lives. I have 3 children and one one the way, my husband does NOT help with the discipline (much). They are 6 1/2, 5, and 1 1/2 and I rarely have any problems with them. They do what they are told (and on the rare occasion they don't they are disciplined). The behave in public, at home, and in school. Of course they have the occasional off day, but who doesn't? You have to be consistant.

Answer 7

I am a single parent but a father the anwser is fear that is why wait till your dad get's home. Your emptyless threats mean nothing to them. Tell them u will pull there pant's down and spank them if they don't listen do it even in a public place one time of actually following through with it will get result's immidetlly. You CONTROL your kid's they don't control u don't be a pushover show them who's boss. that might be out place for u since your a single mother and mothers usually don't do this but fathers do and u need to play both role's being a single parent and if u don't start know wait till they start smoking weed and there grades start falling and skipping out of school. Your children should respect u and FEAR of them being embaressed will make them fall in line trust me iv'e been on both sides of the fence trust me they will still love u but u will have definitly have their respect

Answer 8

If you punish them(take away privileges or another punishment) every time you like,of course they won't listen to you.That's their way to show you that punishments are ineffective and you better stop using it as a way of discipline.What happens every time you ask your child to do something and she/he doesn't listen to you?Do you yell, criticize or punish them and after that do what they had to do?
When the child doesn't listen to your orders,try these:

1.Your remarks have to be simple,short and kind ("I noticed that you haven't done your work.Would you do it now?")
2.If he/she resists,ask "Remember our agreement?"
3.Another resistance.Close your mouth and don't use verbal communication (look at your watch,smile, hug your child and look at the watch again).
4.When your child agrees(usually with a murmur,say "I'm glad that you observe our agreement"

Some parents don't accept sequence because they don't think they have to remind their children of their engagements.They want their children be responsible without being reminded of that.To such parents I ask these questions:
1.If you don't spare the time for reminding your children with respect and without humiliating them,don't you lose time in criticizing, punishing, moralizing and don't you do their work instead of them?
2.Have you noticed the responsibility your children have when it comes about engagements which are important for them?
3.Do you really think that cleaning and helping in the kitchen are important for your children? (children have to do house work no matter it's not a priority for them)
4.Don't you ever forget something which you have promised to do if nobody reminds you especially if it is an engagement which you don't like or don't want to do?

I recommend you buy the book "Positive Discipline for Teenagers" by Jane Nelsen.It will teach you important parenting skills.

Answer 9

it is the nature of people to test the limits. that is why we have so many things in life now days. cars, buildings, planes, everything.
once we encounter a limit, we set out to get around or go past it. we as people can not fly but now we are in space almost daily.

it comes to kids naturally. so if you spend one week telling a kid to do things you would like done and hardly ever check, at the end of the week the kid will know (that in this are with you he has very little limits). and it could take several months to correct it when you start to check and following up on what you have asked them. if you spending a year asking and not checking on them or following up, you will have created a monster that will take a good long while to correct. once we have internally set a limit for something, its very hard to reduce it. we can easily expand the limit but reducing it is not so easy.

Answer 10

i think once they start school they realise they can get away with alot more and test us. with my 6 year old i make her sit on the naughty step after refusing to do something i ask her the 2nd time and this helps. try to put your foot down now with your 7 year old before it gets too far.
having no dad at home won't make that much of a difference as my husband is softer than me with the kids!