Hey!
First off....bravo! I don't know how you managed - as most guys wouldn't given the opportunity, esp being like you said popular and all, It's really quite impressive.
You seem to have a great sense of self-control, and that's an absolutely wonderful quality to possess - in all areas of life, because you know you're always in control and not influenced by any irrationality or extraneous forces like peer pressure or the sense to conform.
It's really your choice whether you want to preserve your virginity or not. You might want to consider:
- whether you feel that it's still really as important to you now as you had believed previously? in other words, is your moral stance on the notion of virginity still as strong as before? re-evaluate your stance. If it's not as strong as before, it's alright and only natural, because we as human beings, are constantly changing and developing.
- if you do decide to proceed, you have to consider whether you want to in a non-committed, short-lived relationship or in a committed relationship? because if you only want to once you're in a committed relationship, then you will have to wait further until you meet some amazing chick and decide to commit.
And lastly, no, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin at this age, although it may be embarrasing (as can be inferred by the content and tone of your question), considering the sex-obsessed society that we live in today. And that leads to the question of whether to be open and frank about it...ummm...well...it's definitely nothing to be ashamed of...although people are so judgemental, and because the idea of sex and doing it is just so prevalent today (although this may not necessarily be a good thing, just a fact), virgins unfortunately are given a pretty bad rap - they're not esteemed as in the past - people believe, and I mean the Y generation, interpret being a virgin >18 as something to be ashamed of - and believing that there must be something wrong with the person.
And believe me, with an attitude like that, most people are embarrased to admit to being a virgin. And yes, a lot of people you'd least expect to fit into the virgin stereotype (nerds/geeks/antisocials/losers), are virgins, but they close up because unfortunately it's starting to be viewed as a character flaw.
This is not my own opinion, but that just seems to be the trend of thought among the majority of Y gen.
Again, in the end it's your own decision, but the fact that you asked this question, is a sign that you should re-evaluate your moral stance (yeah, virginity and sex - it really all comes down to your moral stance toward it - if we're talking no alcohol involved...lol), and that obviously opens up to answering whether you are ready or not.
Good luck!
2007-02-09 22:26:04
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Your virginity is a good thing to keep until you're married and if you're religious than you should know what to do. My sister is 23 about to be 24, was the popular girl in high school, a college student, beautiful, ambitious and everything. But she's a Christian so I guess that's the difference between us and you. No it's not a bad thing, but it's your decision whether to keep it or not. I'd keep it if I were you, but chances are having the mentality that you have you won't. No one should be able to sway your decision, and if you asked this question you want them too. So good luck, but sex is an addiction. It's like opening Pandora's box, you can't close it again. And it's a sin. So remember that!
2007-02-09 20:02:44
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answer #2
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answered by April 4
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Richard la Ruina's new book The Natural. I haven't read it yet, but I its supposed to be the best book written on the subject. You should definitely get The Game by Neil Strauss. That's is where most guys start, but most of the stuff in The Game is outdated. Learn from guys like Richard and Adam Lyons. They are pretty much the best in the world at the moment. Or if you can't take another second of what you're going through, take a bootcamp from one of them. And check out the 21 Convention website. They have tons of free videos
2016-03-29 00:38:56
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answer #3
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answered by ? 4
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Be open & proud of it! If you are religious, you will probably want to marry a girl who shares your values and she will appreciate being your first. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, there is something wrong with having sex just to say you're not one.
My husband and I are both Christians and both saved sex until marriage. He was 36 when we got married, and I was in my mid-20's. The truth is, it made me a lot more comfortable knowing I was with someone who wasn't going to be comparing me to someone else, and I honestly don't know if I could have married him if he had slept with other women.
And now...well, now we have lots and lots of guilt-free naked fun.
When you get married you may regret having slept with girls before your wife. You will never regret waiting for her and she will never think you are less of a man for making that a special thing only the two of you share. Experience is overrated, more fun to learn how it works together.
Your self respect and relationship with the Lord are more important than what other people think. You won't regret sticking to your values.
2007-02-09 20:23:40
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answer #4
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answered by Hamlette 6
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I respect that you have chosen abstinence - it is something few choose and even fewer actually follow through with.
If not being promiscuous makes you unpopular, my guess is you don't want such popularity in the first place. If not sleeping around loses you friends, they're not the sort of friends you would want or should trust. I know people who have not become sexually active until their mid to late 20s - both for religious and personal reasons. There's nothing wrong with not having sex, just like there's nothing wrong with consensual and protected sex.
As to whether to go public with it, it is a personal choice.
You can go out of the way to make an impression. I wouldn't do that - I would probably just not discuss it. But then again, it's your call.
Whatever you choose, good luck. Remember, girls like to party with bad boys, but are serious with stable, faithful and less experienced guys.
2007-02-09 20:06:15
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Not at all a problem- don't listen to those stupid guys saying sleep with a prostitute- do you know how many STD's they have? Nobody has to know your private business. If you're religious, that's a good thing- try to meet a religious gal and I'm sure she'll respect you for the decision to wait for the right person. It's best to wait until marriage. Don't let society pressure you into having sex just for the sake of having it, if it's with the wrong person.
2007-02-09 20:01:56
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answer #6
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answered by hj55f 3
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A) It is great you are still a virgin
B) At your discretion, be open about it to people who you feel comfortable with. Some people might laugh at you, but others who are your real friends or have similar values to yourself would not put you down for it.
I totally respect you for being a guy virgin at 20 years old. I'm also a religious person, and that is why I am still a virgin at 26 :)
2007-02-09 19:59:27
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answer #7
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answered by Lilliana 5
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It's not bad that youre still a virgin. That will actually probably work to your advantage because women will know you have self-control. You should work towards being open about it if you feel pressured to hide it. Start small if anything. Like tell people you are comfortable with. When you get more confidence in your decision you won't worry about what people think.
2007-02-09 19:59:58
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answer #8
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answered by ihateidiots 5
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I am truly impressed!! I am a grandmother hoping that my granddaughter will find a young man with the morals, ideals and standards that you personify when she starts college in 2 years.
To answer your questions: A) rather than ask if it's a bad thing that you are still a virgin--ask if there are women that are worthy of you or are you going to settle for a used-up tramp, and B) yes, you should be open about it because you want someone who has the same high standards as those that you possess.
2007-02-09 20:05:47
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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(answer to A) There is nothing wrong with being a VIRGIN, it turns me on, not like that either. I think it is wonderful that you are waiting for the right person. Male whores suck!
(answer to B) I have many male virgin friends who are open about it, It makes them MORE of a MAN, they get bunches of girls too! Being open about it lets us girls know that you are worth dating.
Where are you? You sound hot! :) Don't hide the fact that you are religious, it's like your denying your belief in God. I'm also a virgin and hope to find a guy like you someday.
Jesus is the best!
2007-02-09 20:00:21
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answer #10
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answered by Livier A 3
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