My good friend is 25 and a single dad of a sweet 4 yr old boy. He is like most single dads just trying to make it and dealing with the mother coming in and out of the childs life since birth. My friend and I are VERY close, talk about everything and have been friends since his son was born. Today he approached me with something I never knew was an issue. The family of my friend and his child constantly harass and say things about the childs clothing. For Christmas they bought him clothes but bought them in a size 5 for boys not a size 4T like he wears. My friend continued to tell me that his son only owns 2 pairs of pants and he needs to get him more but hasnt ever had the extra money. I told him right away I would love to buy clothes for the boy and would do it on Walmart.com so he could pick them up at the store. My friend got real upset and said for me to not buy any and leave it alone. I wanted to help, I offered & he took offense. What do I do, buy nothing and leave it alone?
2007-02-09 19:47:11 · 8 answers · asked by Mom of Maddox 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
To the first comment, he wears a 3T pants and is just now wearing some 4T clothes, I put 4T because he wears 4T shirts. The 4T fits him a little big, im sorry your wrong a 5/6 in boys is to large for a just now 4 yr old boy wearing a 3T pants.
2007-02-09 19:58:57 · update #1
What is wrong with the child wearing the size 5 clothing? They're not that much bigger than the 4 Ts...
2007-02-09 19:52:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I agree with you there is definately a difference between 4T and 5T. My daughter wears a 4T and if you put her in a 5T she swims in the shirts and the pants just fall off.
As a guy I can tell you a lot of guys would be very upset about the fact that they can not buy their family everything they want much less if they couldn't always get them what they need. Your friend probably isn't angry at you for offering to help. He's more upset about the fact that he may need your help. What some people said about buying him something extra for his birthday and holidays is a good idea. Don't buy a lot more than what you've bought in the past or he may see through it. But an extra outfit always helps. If he hasn't already he can try to take the clothes back to the store.
2007-02-09 20:45:16 · answer #2 · answered by Jake W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you and your friend took offense. I'm sure he's feeling like a charity case and can't stand it! Sounds to me like he has a lot of pride. He may have just been confiding in you and not looking for you to solve the problem. Can he exchange the clothes he got for Xmas? Maybe you could help him with exchanging them instead. I would apologize but let him know that you are there for him. Maybe when the dust settles help him figure out alternatives for this situation. Check out yard sales even thrift shops, you could throw out a few suggestions or just listen to him until he finds a solution that he is comfortable with.
2007-02-10 00:00:44 · answer #3 · answered by 10 pts for me? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he feels offended somehow. not being able to do something as small as buying proper clothes for his boy must be bothering him. just continue to be his friend. and try explaining to him you weren't trying to hurt him only help. and a size 5 is not a bad thing it allows the child growth. just continue to support you friend. that is the best you can do right now. but there are always birthday and holiday when you can sneak a gift in.Easter is April the 8. buy him a couple of outfits for Easter. (smile)
2007-02-09 20:01:57 · answer #4 · answered by defineme is back on top 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure any man will EVER be willing to accept help from a woman. You may make some progress in this department though, because I imagine it took a lot of courage for him to come to you and tell you all of this. He knows you are willing to help, so hopefully he will think it over, take his pride down a notch, and do what is in the child's best interest, which is to let you help.
2007-02-09 19:56:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time. Give him some time and space as he just was startled.
Being that he is your good friend he was probably just venting to you about the problem and didn't realize that it would affect you like that. You are awesome to want to help so just give him the time and space and wait for him to bring the subject up again before you do anything.
If he comes to you for help then give him a gift card so he can still feel like he is making the purchases. ;)
If he doesn't then give extra when its the boy's birthday. :)
2007-02-09 20:01:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pacify ur friend ny telling him that he could repay u when he could and that he should accept the clothes now because his son needs them now! tell him u have all the right to buy him clothes ..you are his friend....isn't his son anything to you??
2007-02-09 19:58:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know this may sound hard but you should respect your friends wishes... i understand how you care for them both and want to help...but a true friend would help but would care what the friend there helping has to say...
2007-02-09 19:58:22 · answer #8 · answered by angel 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋