I have a 6mo old that I've, for the majority been doing "Attatchment Parenting" with since birth, since I've been able to be a stay-at-home mom. But now, I need to go back to work, and have been stuggling the last month trying to get him to sleep through the night. I want him to learn that he's okay (he's in the 95%percintile for weight gain-breastfed!) but can't get the right idea of how "Ferberizing" really works. I have had people tell me that I should "close the door,and walk away", which I have trouble with doing for hours at a time, as had been suggested.-- And please no advice on how this method isn't good. Its the only choice I have at working and keeping my sainity.
2007-02-09 16:50:01 · 4 answers · asked by prettylittlepowderkeg 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You don't shut the door and walk away. :-) That's not Ferberizing.
You go in and comfort your child at certain intervals without taking them out of the crib. What I've read says first every five minutes, then every ten, then every fifteen.
I didn't do that with my daughter. She'd get too worked up if I left her that long, and I wouldn't be able to calm her down without picking her up. If she cries when I put her down, I let her cry for three minutes, then go in, put her binky back in, and walk out. After that, I go in every five minutes. Usually, she's asleep within ten minutes. If she's still crying after twenty minutes, there's an issue beyond not wanting to go to sleep, so I go in and get her, change her, feed her, etc. This past week, we relapsed, but she was going through separation anxiety, so I made an exception for a couple of days, and she's back on track.
To be honest, we do feed her once during the night, at about 4 in the morning. We've found it's easier to set our alarm for before when she would wake for a feed (430-500), and feed her and pop her back in the crib before she gets fully awakened. She sleeps 11-12 hours at night, so, it's understandable that she gets hungry and needs a feed.
She was able to self-soothe herself at four months, but it took a couple of days for her to learn how to do it. Now (7 1/2 months), she's very good at it, and rarely has problems. Like I said, when she does (and now I can just tell by the type of cry), there's another issue for her.
2007-02-11 14:19:46 · answer #1 · answered by katheek77 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The method that your talking about is going to be hard on both of you. Very hard. If your used to responding to your childs cries immediatly then your going to go though withdraw the same as your child will.
That being said, closing the door and walking away isn't really the answer. Try weaning yourself from the habits you've formed. Don't be unavailable. If you usually rock your baby to sleep, try laying him in bed but stay in the room. Don't pick him up but stay where he can see you. Every night move a little closer to the door. It may take weeks before your able to lay him down and leave without him crying and it will be hard to sit and watch him cry but a better alternative then letting him cry it out all alone.
2007-02-10 00:58:58 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This method works slowly. You have to take it day by day, on the first day you have to leave the baby in his bed and just let him cry about 10 to 15 minutes and then go check on him but dont pick him up just let him know you're there. Then leave again. Supposibly everyday you should take a little longer to go check on the baby and eventually they learn to go to sleep on there own. I personally was never able to do it, after 20 minutes I'd give in. But its supposed to work so good luck! Its gonna be hard at first but like you said you need to.
2007-02-10 02:45:05 · answer #3 · answered by Momof2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do realoize that you child will very likely reverse cycle and need you MORE at night.
This is not your "only choice" it is the easy way out for you at your son's expense.
Read "The No Cry Sleep solution" ASAP!
2007-02-10 01:28:10 · answer #4 · answered by Terrible Threes 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋