Does being a mum mean that u have to forsake anything else?

Answer 1

as other mums have said, many things you did before having children will seem unimportant to some, but to others it may seem a little unfair.this does not make them all bad mothers, just it takes some longer to adjust to motherhood than others.
if you are ready for kiddies, then you must prepare for the overwhelming and unconditional love which just pours out as soon as the baby pops out! its a wonderful emotion and helps you 'bond' and look after your baby even when you have had no sleep for a week, baby has colic and will not stop screaming for 6 hours, husband just has to go wet baby's head yet again while you stay in etc!!!
if you are lucky you can balance being a f/t mother and still find moments to be yourself too...this is very important! some mums become mere baby machines, stumbling from nappy to baby group to clinic to park to laundry to crayons to nappy again, and never peep over the wall to meet a friend for coffee WITHOUT baby, never take a p/t college course to keep mind busy (you never know, you may wish to return to work etc and an active brain is very useful!), never insist on getting friend/mum etc to babysit so you and hubby can go for a drink/walk in park etc on your own.
i'm not saying my kiddies are not wanted or appreciated, i love all 3 very dearly and cant imagine life without them. its just that i've seen some friends lose all sense of identity, and i dont think that does the kiddies any favours as they end up with 'robot mum' instead of a mum with a personality! i have not returned to work or college until each of my girls was almost two, and then only p/t as i think i'm the best person to share their precious moments with!! but at or around two, each of them has spent one session at least a week in a nursery for morning/half day whilst i did college etc, as its very important for children to be with other children without mum or dad there to interfere! i also take them to lots of kiddies activities 2-5 times a week. and they also come to things i like to see - music festivals, theatre shows etc. this helps instill a sense that we all take turns with each other to do what we all like to do. of course some events are not suitable for them, so either i arrange a sitter or forego the event until next time. does this make me resemtful? not very often, as i CHOSE to bring them into the world and there will be lots of opportunities for me to do things when they grow up and away and only remember to phone me once a week!!!
i was a 'party girl', out all the time, organising all night parties with dance mucic and bands, and i'm almost glad that i had my 1st child when i did, otherwise i may have tipped over the edge and got caught up in deep dark stuff! but i still like a good boogie, so we book one family holiday where we explore rock pools, ride along beaches, discover ancient burial sites, watch bats fly out at dusk etc, and we then all pile into car to go to a family friendly music/green isues etc festival where we all get to chill out, watch mad acrobats/dance to the Levellers/blue horses or whoever, make dream catchers, take showers on converted horse boxes and walk round fire mazes... my mum doesnt really approve! but the kids LOVE it, and i get to keep alive that bit of me that used to be a bit alternative! at festivals we go to, children have greater freedom and autonomy than they are allowed in todays society with all its problems and weirdos wandering about. if a kid wants to be a fairy all weekend, so be it, or a pirate or visit the gypsies field and learn to whittle, etc etc. the university of life is as important as school education. if you like the sound of such festivals, then go to the Big Green Gathering held every july/aug in uk.... no i dont work there but its just amazing!!!
so yes, you will need to forsake some things, but never the real you.
enjoy your children. let them enjoy you.
have fun and good luck!

Answer 2

As I understand the question, you want to know what sacrifices a mom makes. When you get pregnant, you are told that you need to stop drinking, smoking and you can't take any over-the-counter medication besides acetaminophen. This seems like a big sacrifice. Then the baby is born, you are so busy that you haven't noticed its been a week since you last showered. You don't notice the changes you have made. Then, as the baby grows, you start doing some of the things you used to do and you realize that you would actually rather color or play Candyland with your child, the things you sacrificed at first were no real loss. There are some things you wish you had more time for (reading a book, watching a movie uninterrupted, peeing by yourself), but the stuff that used to seem fun really isn't anymore.
You sacrifice nothing, nothing important anyway (well maybe a little privacy in the bath). I've met moms that really thought being a mom was a pain, but they weren't good oms and their kids suffered.
Having said that, let your mom give you the guilty list of things she sacrificed for you, thank her a lot and cherish that she wants a connection with you bad enough to give you a guilt trip.

Answer 3

Not really, you do have to forsake going out and partying with friends and a full nights sleep along with many things you do as a "single" person.

I said "not really" because you have to give up that lifestyle to gain a wonderful new one with exciting new experiances and opportunities. I became pregnant with my son (who's now 6) when I was 21. I raised him on my own for 5 years. I had to give up a lot, but I took advantage of the doors that opened up when he was born. I went back to school, I get to go trick-or-treating, Santa is alive again, I go to the kitchen when I want to see the latest artwork, chicken nuggets are part of a healthy diet, and so forth.

I'm now married (almost 2 years) and have a 7 month old daughter. Date night is a special time with my husband, the smiles my children exchange between each other, the laughter, and milestones reached. All those things and so much more make motherhood worthwhile.

I'd rather be doing this than wondering which club my girls and I are going to hit. It's a hard job, but the pros out way the cons.

Answer 4

You don't have to forsake things, but you have to find the right balance, and if something does have to go by the wayside then so be it - that's part of being a parent and if it can't be done willingly then it's a sad situation.Children don't ask to be born and life does have to alter so that you can give them the best up bringing and set the best example that you can. There will always be time for other things afterwards and if a parent hasn't the patience for that then it is a great shame for any children they have.

Answer 5

No you should not...

Your husband or bf fell in love with you for who you were not some sort of personalityless robotron.

This is why there shouold be more abortions and better contraception so girls lives are not ruined...


Funny how in all the posts where a girl is worried about pregnant or abortions this crap is conveninently hidden.


Does not give a good example to the daugher... that women are these dumb dormats.

They should have a mum to look up to as a good example balancing their life and interests

Answer 6

When you become a mum your whole life changes. You can't make rational decisions about it before you give birth because you have no control over your emotions, and when that beautiful bundle of joy arrives it is like being hit over the head with a shovel. Yes you forsake a lot of things but you don't mind one little bit.

Answer 7

When you become a mother, it's not a matter of forsaking, really. It's just that everything that once seemed important pales in comparison to the needs of your child. It's evolutionary. Caring for you child, anticipating his/her needs, protecting and nurturing come first, without exception.

Answer 8

No. Being a Mum is the main priority. But you still need to be yourself and take care of you, to be a good Mum. If you give up all your hobies and friends, you will soon become depressed. Assuming you are married, look after your marriage and get support from your husband as well. Best wishes.

Answer 9

It means you forsake anything that would take away from the child. As adults we have things we have to do. Any choices we make that take away time from our children NEED to be forsaken

Answer 10

You don't 'forsake' anything, you just have to put your own need on hold for a while

Answer 11

Yes.
Between a helpless baby's needs and your own needs, you maternal instinct kicks in big time, and you will sacrifice your interests gladly and give endless unconditional love.

God bless all the mothers of the world. Happy Valentines Day to my own Mom!