I love my mom dearly, but I feel she is very jealous of me. She wasnt supportive of me in high school sports, she always complains when I need to borrow $ (WHICH ISNT THAT OFTEN AND I ALWAYS PAY HER BACK), she has renigged on agreements her and I have made numerous times and she is always 'unavailable' when I tell her I need a big or huge favor. I cater to her every need and I feel every year we are growing further apart... what can I do?
I dont want to have to cut her off, but that is what my heart and my best of friends tell me to do. I dont want her to hurt me anymore...
2007-02-09 15:50:33 · 12 answers · asked by 100% Woman, yes indeed! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
1st of all, I am 25 and have been out of the house since 18. I have always had a job and asked her only for $ when times got real tough. This is not movie or clothes $ i am asking for here. I payed my way through college with minimal help from her because I had scholarships and I worked 3 jobs! I know for a fact she is jealous of me because I have had other family members tell me so. I am not a needy daughter like some of you have hinted at and to be honest she calls me for more favors and I never turn her down. She takes advantage of the fact that I am so giving and I hate it but cant say no cause she is my mom. NO WE DO NOT LIVE 2GETHER. We were supposed to when she wanted to leave her loser bf, but she backed out on me so I told her never to ask me again to move in with her... Now you can answer the question correctly since you have more details...
2007-02-09 16:09:59 · update #1
I have read what you have put down and concluded that you do have some tough choices to make as to where you see your mother in your life.
Bottom line: You are going to have to shut everyone out and listen to what you really want to do. No one know's the situation between yourself and your mother like you. You seem like you are holding a lot back that you and you are worried about what others would think (or that you are going against your very nature) A small caution here you may need to set strict limits of engagement with your mother and stick too them if you decide to let her remain in your life. I wish you the best and that you may one day be blessed with children such as yourself (selfless)
2007-02-09 16:19:12 · answer #1 · answered by calmlikeatimebomb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, Who-who, your mom has her own life to live.. You did not make it clear why you think she is jealous of you but that is OK. You say she was not supportive of you in sports but you did tell us which sports. Could be she did not agree that the sport you wanted to engage in was not feminine enough for her tastes. I tell you this because you might have the wrong idea about her.
On the other hand you might be at the point in life you have to decide that your life is your life and you cannot let it get mired in problems with a seemingly incompatible mother.
Both boys and girls occasionally need to reduce their time spent with their mother or father or siblings. If it is necessary, do it with as little rancor as possible but make the cut and go your way by yourself.
Better a distant relationship with your mother than a life filled with frustrations and disappointments.
Only you can know when your time to call it quits has come.
2007-02-09 16:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this really what you want-to break away from the woman who gave you life? Yea, there are times when a mother and daughter to grow far apart, but you can't just sit there and watch it happen. If you do, you'll regret this. Just try and talk to your mom about it. Take her out to lunch. Have someone talk to her for you. Spend more time with her. Buy her something that shows how much you care. What i'm basically telling you is just sit down and think about what you can do to fix this. I'm sure you'll think of something.
Good luck
alicia
2007-02-09 15:56:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound young....
Be careful of misinterpreting jelousy. Adult moms do not think the same way you and your best friends do. The grown ups tend to think in terms of "I am feeling underappriciated and frustrated" The mom might think that you are ungrateful...and you could interpret this as 'jelousy'.
Your 'best friends' should not be dictating how you will solve your very personal problem with your mother as they do not have enough life experance to deal with such complex issues.
We have a saying in my home...."some people will TELL you they love you, but I will SHOW you...."
I wish you luck.
2007-02-09 15:57:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do yall live together? If so and (your old enough) move out or have a plan in mind. HTen sit her down and tell how how you feel and things need to change etc... And if she goes agaisnt just dotn talk to her as much. Good luck and i hope things get better for you.
2007-02-09 15:56:34 · answer #5 · answered by CurlySue 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's not jealous of you, she's giving you room to grow up. Quit borrowing money from her and asking for favors, I bet she'll start spending time with you when you spend time with her for her, and not to borrow or ask her to do something.
2007-02-09 15:54:28 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she's not asking much of you, but you're asking quite a few things of her. If you're old enough, get out on your own and do your own thing: that way the realtionship will be more equal. If you're not old enough to do it by yourself, I'm afraid you're stuck.
2007-02-09 15:55:45 · answer #7 · answered by Yarb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is just stubborn.
she is your mom, she has to take care of you until you're 18.
why is she jealous of you?
tell her to grow up and act like a mom.
maybe you dont need her... tell her how you feel. and ask her why she is always like that.
2007-02-09 15:56:33 · answer #8 · answered by ladybleu 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The BIG question here is how old are you and how old is your mom? Are we talking teenager here or grown woman?
2007-02-09 15:54:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mom. If you cant find the opportunity, write her a letter.
2007-02-09 15:54:15 · answer #10 · answered by S A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋