We both (as far as I know and believe) have been exclusive. I have been married before and have children. He has never been married and has no children. I was honest with him VERY early in our relationship in that I could not do 'casual'...just not me...and I have my children to think of. Not that I was looking to get married soon but that I wanted a committed relationship. Well, it's a year later and we are still togehter...but we had a long talk the other day because he has never been open about his feelings for me...it ended up with me asking him to just tell me flat out if he never saw any possibility of a future for he and I in the way I would like, just tell me, he could not say no...said he did see the possibility of that, but he wanted us to 'start over', slow down, back to nearly our first date, no intimacy, etc, needed time, afraid HE had too many 'issues' (nothing to do with me/us). I gave him space, but he calls more than ever. Before this, no problems...confused!!
2007-02-09 15:10:08 · 14 answers · asked by Stealth_1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
More...he loves my kids...wants them involved, doing things together, and he spends time with them on his own too. He's always wanted to be married, and children, but I have never pressured him or been asking for marriage. I just told him early on that I did not want casual sex and I did not want to be lead on or be given the impression there was a possibility for a future if there was not. Either we're working towards something or we are just friends (but not with fringe benefits because I just don't do that). I told him that almost a year ago so he has known I didn't want casual. We get along great, have a lot in common, never fight, talk all the time, great chemistry and are also truly friends in addition to the closeness we share. All of his ACTIONS show that he wants this but how do you go back to the beginning when you have been intimate (I am willing to)...but I will miss the closeness of that with him. I asked his feelings b/c it's been a year and I don't want to get hurt.
2007-02-09 15:55:36 · update #1
Sounds like hes scared to death.
2007-02-09 15:12:50 · answer #1 · answered by beatch38 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me that he is scared. I am a man, that according to my girlfriend am a freak when it comes to wanting to talk about feelings, i think because it is most commonly associated with women. Most people in general don't open up or want that intamacy for one of two hard to face reasons they are scared that they are going to get hurt or they want the sex without the emotional intamacy. If he has a lot of issues and you are looking long term you will have to work through those issues, but heed a warning take these issues as they come as it is easy to make anyone defense when they are pressed about deep seeded things in their lives. To get someone to open up to them you must show them not only that you will not judge them but also that they are like you in that we all have issues. Sometimes it just means that you may have to take that first emotional leap of faith.
Hope this helps
2007-02-09 15:21:32 · answer #2 · answered by ••●bizeb●•• 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've now complicated the relationship to the point that he doesn't know what you're thinking either. He was liking all the free nookie and stuff. Now he's afraid he has to pay up...by locking in on some future commitment. He's not sure if he's ready to sign on to your new program. He'll probably give you a definite okay or just disappear.
2007-02-09 15:14:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's your infant's father yet while his heart is someplace else then he would not belong to you, go away and finally end up a sweetheart which will adore you. female do no longer settle for 2nd maximum suitable once you're able to be quantity a million maximum suitable. If he has the heart to permit you comprehend like that then there is no longer something to hold directly to in that relationship. circulate alongside and initiate afresh you will locate happiness you deserve. there is somebody for each man or woman obtainable and the longer you reside in that misery the longer it's going to take to locate your man or woman happiness. I no u have invested a protracted time in that relationship yet iits time you walked removed from it. each and every end is the commencing up of something much greater efficient.
2016-11-03 01:09:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats guys for you hun when they are cornered (and thats women for ya)they are but rabbits in the headlights.what he said that night about cooling off and going back was him saying he couldnt cope right there right then.now that night is over with and hes no longer in the headlights beam he wants back what he had before the cornering.we have to learn to meet them in the middle.ask a few then back away dont bombard them and they wont see it as so scary.he loves ya hun thats obvious to be throwing himself in the deep end so soon lol been there done that and continue to do so so i hope to listen to my own words soon good luck and wish me the same lol
2007-02-09 15:20:15 · answer #5 · answered by nendlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lesson that took me fifty years to learn:
Pay attention to behaviors, not words. Words are cheap. Actions speak much louder than words.
I am dealing with someone whose words and behaviors don't match. He is being fired soon.
Good luck - and don't settle.
2007-02-09 15:13:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
has to do with your children he is unsure how he feels about a prepackaged family. most guys feel intimidated by the relationship between there girlsfrien and there kidds father
2007-02-09 15:15:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does not seem ready. It is so funny I have two girls. Married a man like you talk about and now am divorcing. If they are not ready they are not ready. Find someone who is. My best wishes.
2007-02-09 15:14:31 · answer #8 · answered by Marie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds scared but loves the idea of commitmnet
2007-02-09 15:13:10 · answer #9 · answered by twysty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is not worth yiour time
2007-02-09 15:12:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋